MenAreGood
TheMan in the Mirror
by Moiret Allegiere
January 19, 2024
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This is a guest post from Moiret Allegiere.  He has a great deal to say about our plight as men in today’s insane misandrist world. You can find his blog here.

__________________________________________________

 

Women can do anything men can do. And do it better. And do it in heels! So it is spoken. It is spoken, and so it has to be true.

Now – kindly deliver me from evil, and fetch me this woman who can stand behind my (almost) functional Agria 5300, mended to the best of my (lacklustre) abilities with only the finest rubber-bands and greatest duct-tape that money can buy.

Find me this magical mystery woman, so that she may mow the grass and the weeds of my bountiful fields, and do it better than me, and do it in heels to boot!

Get me this woman, show me that she can do this, and I shall fall to my knees right then and there and deliver her the finest blowjob hard work and sacrifice may buy.

There may be a certain animosity, a certain mean-ness in writing the above, but I am at the very least not condescending. I can not imagine thinking so little of women that their every act and action must, necessarily, be compared to the acts and actions of men as though men are the default, and women merely a shattered mirror-image of said men. Or, you know, made by one of our ribs.

Our strengths and our weaknesses as men is something that should be mirrored by the strengths and weaknesses of women. The way I see it, the way I understand it, we are meant to complement one another. There is little point to life, viewed from a purely biological perspective, except surviving and procreating. Does it not then make sense that the one can not do without the other; that the one must pick up the slack – so to speak – of the other? To co-exist and communicate, to cooperate, to not compete constantly.

Who does what matters little when there are things to do. What matters is that the things are done, and that they are done by those most suited to them. A strange and rather marvelous symptom of relatively easy lives, this, when one has the time and the inclination to fight over who does what, rather than seeing the things that has to be done as things that first and foremost has to be done. Particularly so when this fight involves which gender does what. Imagine seeing this from the outside, as someone completely alien to all this nonsense. It is a symptom of illness. A social malaise.

 

I believe that our greatest flaw as a society, as a civilization, as human beings is our ability to complicate matters to the point of utter absurdity. Even more so now than before, in this dawning of our great apocalyptic downfall. The absurd complexity of the M.C. Esher-esque Ziggurat of oppression-points and privilege-points constructed by cocaine-fueled sociopaths – excuse me – sociologists, and stamped and mailed and agreed upon by humanities-scholars crazy on brown acid should be seen as so ridiculous that Monty Python – in their hey-day – would stop and think that this, old chap, is a bit too absurd, wouldn’t you say, old chum, hey-hey… now, let’s get back to the guy choosing his method of execution be one where he is chased off a cliff by a horde of topless women wearing g-strings, and then for a spot of brandy, ho-ho.

Still – we accept this nonsensical screed. Probably due to feeling as though there is no choice but to accept this. After all – none of us plain proles could possibly have the mental awareness, nor the intellectual capability to argue with one so wise in the ways of science as to being unable to define a woman. Or, for that sake, having the testicular fortitude to engage with the ravenous mob of this’s and that’s and they’s and where’s and who’s and xir’s and xadam’s that will eventually descend upon one’s head for daring to state such heresy as “men have greater upper body strength than women”. Something that should, by all measures, be a fairly innocent factual statement. But it ain’t, brother, oh bother, it ain’t.

Unless one is a TERF, of course, who all of a sudden understood that there are differences between men and women which would give biological men an unfair advantage in women’s sports, despite these same pundits having said and pushed and meant and furthermore stated that there are no differences between men and women which would mean that men and women fare differently through life. But, oh, never mind – history is so easily rewritten. Obviously, this is nothing but a sinister MRA-plot to undermine and utterly destroy women in women’s spaces. For all that is bad in the world is the fault of those pesky men, after all. Never have I ever seen a greater case of “careful what you wish for” than this absolute stupidity. You might get what you wish for. Shame it bent back and slapped women across the face.

God-damn it; it was only men meant to be inconvenienced. Back to the drawing-board, ladies, and figure out how this – built on feminist rhetoric – is the fault of men.

It is not man-made horrors beyond our comprehension that will be our downfall. It is man-made absurdities beyond our comprehension. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or crawl to the top of our barn and wave my dick about with all the dick-swagger I can muster, as some sort of strange and arcane sign of dumbfounded masculinity. Things eventually reached a point where the only thing left to do is sit, mouth wide open in abject horror, and laugh hysterically at everything. Honk-honk, motherfuckers. Now – pass me some of that brown acid. Otherwise, I would not be able to comprehend anything happening. Get me an eight-bag while your at it, please?

I may be a simple man with fairly simple pleasures. Thank God—living within the rules of this absurdity would be an impossible task. Which, one would assume, is the entire point of the thing. After all – no-one is without sin. Not within Christianity, nor within the ziggurat of woke. Meeting life on fairly simple terms makes for a better life. Less complicated. But for people who, purportedly, believe in nothing except the things that they believe then and there which are not things but nothing, simplicity is akin to stupidity. And when the only identity they have is that of woke pundit, or something built upon meaningless pronouns… well, I fear that looking into the mirror would be akin to staring into the abyss for people who are so devoured by the ways and the world of woke. They would not like what stares back. The self first, the rest after. Clean your bloody room, bucko.

Women can do everything men can do. But men can not do anything women can do. Even men identifying as women. This despite us supposedly being completely equal and similar. In writing the first, a very simple thing springs to my mind: the empress aims to remove anything that is distinctly masculine from men themselves, and deliver the masculine into the hands of women.

This then leads to a lack of a genuine and singular masculine identity for our boys and for our young men. In short – the man in the mirror may well be there, but the man in the mirror has no face. The only solely masculine identity left is that of a father, which women can not replace. The hordes of feminism and the hordes of woke then seek to rip apart fatherhood itself.

 Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Fathers are not as important as mothers, fathers are not nurturing or caring and are, really, not important in the lives of children.

Fret not – the state will provide, and the father shall be tarred and feathered and branded as a dead-beat loser. Should he seek through the courts to see his children, in the event of a divorce, this will be branded as him seeking only to abuse the woman further, using the courts.

An astute observer might notice that there is a certain pattern of projection in the mind of your typical garden-variety feminist. Anything a feminist says must necessarily be considered and pondered with this question in mind: “might this be a classic case of psychological projection?” Chances are the answer is yes. For a woman scorned may well use the children – by way of the courts – to further abuse a man. One notices, of course, that there is little care, little emphasis, on the well-being of the children. It is merely the mother that matters. Which, were all right with the world, should rightly be seen as utterly contemptible behaviour.

When our son was born, we got these papers to fill out. Our names, birthdate, things like that. The word “Father” was nowhere to be seen. There was “Mother”, “Together-mother” and “Partner”. Interesting, don’t you think, that the gender-neutral “Partner” did not apply to a female partner, who instead got the interesting term “Together-mother”? A female partner needed a specific feminine term. A male partner got the gender-neutral term. “Gender-neutral” has always meant that men shall not be named.

Admittedly, I am very happy that it did say “Mother” instead of the nonsensical made-up term “Birthing-parent”. Doesn’t change the fact that the word “Father” was nowhere to be seen, of course. Yet – women can be mothers, and that is a uniquely feminine identity. As it bloody well should be. Just as father ought to be a uniquely masculine identity. Yet – father as a masculine identity is being eroded. Just as any other positive masculine identity.

We are nothing no more, nothing but double negatives. Testosterone-poisoning and toxic masculinity, fragile masculinity and dead-beat dads. Single mothers should be celebrated on father’s day, which is a day that should really anyhow be replaced with “special person’s day”. For men can not have anything for men and for men only. Women may feel slighted and left out, and nothing is more important than a woman’s fleeting and momentary feelings. The notion that a man might feel somewhat perturbed and annoyed when he, as a father, is reduced to “Partner” whereas a female partner is elevated to “Together-mother” is either an alien notion or of little-to-no concern for the powers that be.

Fretting about this god-damned paper and this god-damned word might seem like a lot for relatively little. Yet, I don’t think that it is – I consider this to be yet another nail in the coffin for anything uniquely masculine. Might be a small nail, but that doesn’t mean that all the other nails are small, nor that small nails are incapable of closing the lid. It is worrisome. Genuinely so. On a personal note, I worry for the future of our young son. On a less personal, yet still important note, I worry for the future of all our young sons who may grow up never knowing themselves due to never being gifted a positive identity that is theirs and theirs alone; due to never finding anything that they must not immediately share with girls and with women.

Still, fret not and be not yet black-pilled, brothers: the man in the mirror may have no face, but it is getting easier for all to see that the empress has no clothes.

Moiret Allegiere
 

Moiret Allegiere

Moiret Allegiere (Born 1986) hails from Norway. A self-described scribbler of lines, juggler of words and weird pseudo-hermit, he became so concerned with the state of the world that he left his long and deliberate hibernation to wreak bloody havoc on the world of fine art and literature. his blog here. and one of his books here

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Bias Against Men and Boys in Mental Health Research

This video is a summary of the three studies we have examined the last three Saturdays. It’s a brief and relaxed look at the high points of those articles. Here’s a summary:

This video examines a pattern I’ve seen repeatedly in psychological research: when data complicates the familiar story of men as perpetrators and women as victims, the data about boys and men often disappears. Using three real studies—on teen dating violence, reproductive coercion, and “masculine norms”—I walk through how boys’ suffering is minimized, misrepresented, or erased as research moves from full reports to media headlines and public policy. What emerges is not just sloppy science, but a troubling bias that shapes how we see boys, men, and masculinity itself.

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Are Men Great of Good? Yes!

Time for a male-positive message. I created this video a while back, but its message remains as important and timeless as ever. I’d love for it to reach boys who’ve been told—explicitly or implicitly—that there’s something wrong with being male. After so much negativity about men and masculinity, they need to hear something different. They need to hear something true, strong, and affirming.

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July 21, 2025
AI Books

We now have a new section that is accessible in the top navbar of the substack page titled AI Books. It contains links to numerous books on men's issues that each have an AI app that is able to answer detailed questions about the book. The above video gives some ideas of how to use these.

https://menaregood.substack.com/s/ai-books

The Myth of Male Power - Warren Farrell
Fiamengo File 2.0 Janice Fiamengo
Taken Into Custody - Stephen Baskerville
The Empathy Gap - William Collins
The Empathy Gap 2 - Williams Collins
The Destructivists - William Collins
Who Lost America - Stephen Baskerville
The New Politics of Sex -- Stephen Baskerville
Understanding Men and Boys: Healing Insights - Tom Golden
Boys' Muscle Strength and Performance - Jim Zuzzo PhD
Sex Bias in Domestic Violence Policies and Laws - Ed Bartlett (DAVIA)
The Hand That Rocks The World - David Shackleton

Links below

Myth of Male Power - Warren Farrell

The Myth of Male Power - documents how virtually every society that survived did so by persuading its sons to be disposable. This is one of the most powerful books...

00:11:44

Something men seem to do all the time that women seem to find extreamaly unlikely or impossible.

Made me laugh!!

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1AKtUoYg8x/?mibextid=wwXIfr

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1FwqtFuR2Z/?mibextid=wwXIfr

I have often made this connection. It’s a little too on point to not research and derstand better. I am fairly sure there is something to it.

January 08, 2026
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The Reasonable Man


The Reasonable Man

Evan liked to think of himself as fair.

He listened. He adjusted. He didn’t raise his voice. When there was tension, he assumed he had missed something—some emotional nuance, some unspoken need. That, he believed, was maturity.

When his wife, Laura, came home upset from work, Evan canceled his plans without mentioning them. It seemed obvious that her day mattered more. When she criticized his tone, he apologized—even when he wasn’t sure what he had done wrong. If she was unhappy, the situation required fixing, and fixing required him.

This wasn’t resentment. It was love.

At least, that’s what Evan told himself.

When decisions came up—where to live, how to spend money, which friendships to maintain—Evan instinctively deferred. Laura had stronger feelings, clearer opinions. He told himself that intensity meant importance. If something mattered more to her, then it mattered more, period.

When his friend Mark complained about feeling sidelined in his own marriage, Evan felt embarrassed for him.

“You just have to be more emotionally aware,” Evan said. “Women carry more of that burden.”

Mark didn’t argue. He just looked tired.

At work, Evan was the same way. When female colleagues spoke, he nodded, encouraged, amplified. When men expressed frustration, Evan subtly distanced himself. He didn’t want to be that guy—the one who failed to notice women’s struggles. If there was a conflict, he assumed the woman had been wronged, even if the facts were unclear. Experience had taught him that neutrality was risky.

Better to err on the side of empathy.

At home, Evan grew quieter over the years. Not withdrawn—just careful. He edited himself mid-sentence. He learned which opinions created friction and which disappeared smoothly. He stopped bringing up his exhaustion. He told himself it wasn’t that bad. Other men had it worse.

When Laura once asked why he seemed distant, Evan froze. The question felt dangerous, like stepping onto thin ice. He reassured her quickly, explaining that he just needed to “work on himself.” She nodded, relieved. The conversation moved on.

Evan felt oddly proud of that moment. He had protected the relationship.

It wasn’t until much later—after a sleepless night, after rereading an old journal entry he barely remembered writing—that something shifted.

The entry was simple:

I don’t know where I went.

That sentence unsettled him.

He started paying attention—not to Laura’s emotions, but to his own patterns. He noticed how quickly he assumed women’s distress carried moral weight while men’s distress required explanation. How often he treated female discomfort as an emergency and male discomfort as a character flaw. How rarely he asked whether his needs were reasonable, and how often he assumed they were negotiable.

He realized something uncomfortable: none of this had been demanded outright.

He had assumed it.

He had assumed that women’s feelings were more fragile, more important, more deserving of protection. That men should absorb impact quietly. That harmony depended on male self-erasure. That good men yield first—and keep yielding.

Only then did Evan have a word for what he had lived by.

Not kindness.
Not empathy.
But a quiet, invisible prioritization—so ingrained it had felt like morality itself.

Gynocentrism.

He didn’t feel angry when he named it. He felt sad. Sad for how natural it had seemed. Sad for how reasonable it had felt to place himself last without ever calling it a choice.

For the first time, Evan wondered what fairness would look like if it included him.

And the question, once asked, refused to go away.

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January 05, 2026
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The Quiet Lie Behind Male Loneliness



How Male Loneliness Is Commonly Explained

 

🔹 1. “Men Deserve the ‘Male Loneliness Epidemic’”

“The male loneliness epidemic exists because men want to control women instead of respecting them… Most of the single men I’ve seen complaining about how lonely they are don’t see women as someone to connect with, but rather as a ‘game’ they must win.”
— from Men Deserve the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” (Medium) Men Deserve the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” (Medium)


🔹 2. Her Campus: “Why the ‘Male Loneliness Epidemic’ Is Men’s Fault”

“…this epidemic is typically used to describe the recent increase in male isolation… There are many potential reasons — especially with the rise of social media — which can detract from human interaction.”
— from Why the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” Is Men’s Fault (Her Campus) Why the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” Is Men’s Fault (Her Campus)


🔹 3. Psychology Today: Framing Loneliness via Men’s Emotional Defense Patterns

“Men are often encouraged to be stoic instead of vulnerable, which makes it difficult for them to open up and form emotional connections…”
— from Is Male Loneliness a New Epidemic or an Age-Old Struggle? (Psychology Today) Is Male Loneliness a New Epidemic… (Psychology Today)


🔹 4. Elephant Journal: Blaming Choices for Loneliness

“The male loneliness epidemic isn’t an epidemic, it’s the consequence of poor choices. Companionship isn’t a right, it’s something you earn.”
— from The Male Loneliness Epidemic — Real Talk. (Elephant Journal) The Male Loneliness Epidemic — Real Talk. (Elephant Journal)


🔹 5. Salon: Explicit Mention of Blame in the Discourse

“…some may acknowledge male loneliness… but then insist it’s self-inflicted — a failure of men to take personal responsibility.”
— from Don’t Blame Women for Men’s Loneliness. Blame Capitalism. (Salon) Don’t Blame Women for Men’s Loneliness (Salon)


🔹 6. Medium: Claim that the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” Is a Myth

“Although researchers have been exploring loneliness as a societal epidemic… Stories abound about how men deserve to be lonely, while others contend that they’re not really lonely; they’re just wallowing…”
— from Is Male Loneliness a Sexist Myth (Medium) The Male Loneliness Epidemic Is a Sexist Myth (Medium)



The Quiet Lie Behind Male Loneliness


It Is the Predictable Result of a Culture That Eliminated Male Space


Before men were lonely, there were places.

Places where men showed up without an agenda. Where conversation happened sideways, not face-to-face. Where no one asked men to perform vulnerability, explain themselves, or justify their presence.

Those places didn’t disappear because men rejected connection. They disappeared because our culture decided male-only spaces were no longer acceptable. And once they were gone, men were told that their resulting loneliness was a personal failure.

There has been a noticeable shift in recent months. A growing number of articles now
acknowledge male loneliness and even gesture toward men’s emotional needs. On the surface, this looks like progress — and in one narrow sense, it is. For decades, male loneliness was either ignored or mocked.

But many of these pieces commit the same quiet betrayal.

After briefly acknowledging that men are lonely, many articles abandon subtlety altogether and place responsibility squarely on men themselves. Men don’t open up enough. Men don’t try hard enough. Men don’t build friendships properly. Men resist emotional growth.

What is missing is the most obvious factor of all: our culture systematically dismantled the spaces where men and boys once formed friendships.



Men Did Not “Forget” How to Connect,
They Lost the Places Where Connection Happened

Male friendships have never primarily formed through structured emotional disclosure. They formed through shoulder to shoulder shared activity, regular presence, and low-pressure companionship. Men bonded by working alongside one another, not by facing one another across a table and “processing.”

For generations, this happened naturally in male-only spaces:

  • Service clubs

  • Fraternal organizations

  • Trade guilds and apprenticeships

  • Male sports leagues

  • Scout troops

  • Men’s religious groups

  • Informal gathering places like barbershops and workshops

These environments weren’t about exclusion. They were containers — places where boys learned how to be men from men, and where adult men maintained connection without self-consciousness or surveillance.

Now consider what has happened.

  • Barbershops are co-ed and transactional.

  • Service clubs are now largely co-ed, and the informal freedoms that supported male bonding in male-only environments have largely disappeared.

  • Community sports are co-ed or heavily regulated.

  • Even the Boy Scouts are co-ed.

One by one, male spaces disappeared — not because men abandoned them, but because our culture increasingly viewed male-only environments as suspicious, outdated, or morally problematic.



The Asymmetry No One Wants to Name

At the same time male spaces were dismantled, female-only spaces proliferated.

Women-only gyms are accepted.
Women-only scholarships are celebrated.
Women-only commissions exist at every level of government.
Women-only networking events, parking, subway cars, retreats, and support groups are commonplace.

“Women-only” is understood as necessary, protective, and empowering.
“Men-only,” by contrast, is treated as exclusionary at best and dangerous at worst.

The result is an unspoken rule that everyone knows but few admit:

Women may gather without men. Men may not gather without women.

This is not equality. It is a double standard — and it has consequences.

 


Then Comes the Blame

Once the social infrastructure that supported male friendship is gone, men are told to adapt. To reinvent themselves emotionally. To “do the work.”

When they fail — when loneliness deepens — the problem is framed as internal. A defect of character. A failure of emotional literacy.

This is, by feminism’s own definition, blaming the victim: holding responsible the very people who have been placed at a disadvantage by cultural change.

Women’s suffering is explained structurally.
Men’s suffering is explained morally.

Layered onto this is something rarely acknowledged — the hostile cultural judgment directed at men and boys themselves. When boys grow up hearing that masculinity is “toxic,” that they are potential oppressors, that their instincts are suspect, it quietly erodes any sense that their sex is something to take pride in or even trust. Under those conditions, isolation is not just social — it is existential.

What often goes unnamed is that this pattern does more than misdiagnose the problem. It functions as a form of relational aggression.

Men’s suffering is acknowledged, but only in a way that subtly relocates responsibility back onto the man himself. No one (well, nearly no one) says outright that his loneliness is his fault, yet the implication is unmistakable: if he were more emotionally literate, more open, less defensive, less “toxic,” he would not be alone. Compassion is offered alongside correction; empathy is made conditional on change.

From a clinical perspective, this is precisely how relational aggression operates — through implication rather than accusation, through moral positioning rather than open attack. Shame is induced without being named. Validation is withheld without explanation. Social standing and legitimacy are quietly eroded. The result is not connection, but deeper isolation — all while those perpetuating the narrative retain a posture of concern and moral superiority.



This Is Not a Clinical Mystery

For many men, isolation is not just about having fewer friends. It is about losing a sense of place, purpose, and belonging. When the environments that once affirmed male identity disappear, men don’t just feel lonely — they feel unnecessary.

Men do not primarily heal through talk.

They heal through:

  • Shared purpose

  • Physical presence

  • Action

  • Solitude

  • Humor

  • Loyalty

  • Time spent together without scrutiny

Remove the environments that make this possible and replace them with verbal, emotionally performative models — then criticize men for not thriving — and you create an impossible bind.

Add to this a culture that repeatedly tells men their nature is dangerous or defective, and the bind tightens further. It is difficult to seek connection when one’s very maleness is framed as something that must be apologized for, corrected, or kept under supervision.

This is not men refusing connection. It is men being asked to connect in ways that violate how they naturally bond — after their native environments have been dismantled and their worth has been publicly questioned.



Anticipating the Pushback

“Men can still form friendships if they want to.”
Yes — just as plants can still grow in poor soil. The question is not whether it’s theoretically possible, but whether the conditions support it.

“Male-only spaces exclude women.”
So do female-only spaces — and no one pretends otherwise. The question is why exclusion is framed as protective when women do it and pathological when men do it.

“Some male spaces were unhealthy.”
Some families are unhealthy. We don’t abolish families. We improve them. Eliminating all male spaces because some were flawed is collective punishment disguised as progress.

“Men should just adapt.”
Adaptation is not a moral obligation when the environment itself has been intentionally stripped of what once made adaptation unnecessary.



The Real Question

If we are serious about addressing male loneliness, we have to stop blaming men for failing to thrive in conditions that were engineered to prevent male bonding.

Male loneliness is not a personal failure.
It is a cultural outcome.

Until we are willing to say that out loud — and rebuild spaces where men and boys can gather without apology — these articles will continue to sound compassionate while quietly reinforcing the very problem they claim to address.

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December 31, 2025
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Happy New Year!

As we close out 2025, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to all the supporters at menaregood.locals.com. Your encouragement, engagement, and belief in this work have meant more than I can say. Whether you've joined discussions, supported financially, or simply taken the time to read and reflect, you've helped create a space where men’s issues can be explored with honesty and depth. I’m deeply grateful for your presence here, and I look forward to continuing this important work together in the year ahead.

Let's hope that 2026 is indeed the year of men!

Happy New Year!

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