MenAreGood
TheMan in the Mirror
by Moiret Allegiere
January 19, 2024
post photo preview

This is a guest post from Moiret Allegiere.  He has a great deal to say about our plight as men in today’s insane misandrist world. You can find his blog here.

__________________________________________________

 

Women can do anything men can do. And do it better. And do it in heels! So it is spoken. It is spoken, and so it has to be true.

Now – kindly deliver me from evil, and fetch me this woman who can stand behind my (almost) functional Agria 5300, mended to the best of my (lacklustre) abilities with only the finest rubber-bands and greatest duct-tape that money can buy.

Find me this magical mystery woman, so that she may mow the grass and the weeds of my bountiful fields, and do it better than me, and do it in heels to boot!

Get me this woman, show me that she can do this, and I shall fall to my knees right then and there and deliver her the finest blowjob hard work and sacrifice may buy.

There may be a certain animosity, a certain mean-ness in writing the above, but I am at the very least not condescending. I can not imagine thinking so little of women that their every act and action must, necessarily, be compared to the acts and actions of men as though men are the default, and women merely a shattered mirror-image of said men. Or, you know, made by one of our ribs.

Our strengths and our weaknesses as men is something that should be mirrored by the strengths and weaknesses of women. The way I see it, the way I understand it, we are meant to complement one another. There is little point to life, viewed from a purely biological perspective, except surviving and procreating. Does it not then make sense that the one can not do without the other; that the one must pick up the slack – so to speak – of the other? To co-exist and communicate, to cooperate, to not compete constantly.

Who does what matters little when there are things to do. What matters is that the things are done, and that they are done by those most suited to them. A strange and rather marvelous symptom of relatively easy lives, this, when one has the time and the inclination to fight over who does what, rather than seeing the things that has to be done as things that first and foremost has to be done. Particularly so when this fight involves which gender does what. Imagine seeing this from the outside, as someone completely alien to all this nonsense. It is a symptom of illness. A social malaise.

 

I believe that our greatest flaw as a society, as a civilization, as human beings is our ability to complicate matters to the point of utter absurdity. Even more so now than before, in this dawning of our great apocalyptic downfall. The absurd complexity of the M.C. Esher-esque Ziggurat of oppression-points and privilege-points constructed by cocaine-fueled sociopaths – excuse me – sociologists, and stamped and mailed and agreed upon by humanities-scholars crazy on brown acid should be seen as so ridiculous that Monty Python – in their hey-day – would stop and think that this, old chap, is a bit too absurd, wouldn’t you say, old chum, hey-hey… now, let’s get back to the guy choosing his method of execution be one where he is chased off a cliff by a horde of topless women wearing g-strings, and then for a spot of brandy, ho-ho.

Still – we accept this nonsensical screed. Probably due to feeling as though there is no choice but to accept this. After all – none of us plain proles could possibly have the mental awareness, nor the intellectual capability to argue with one so wise in the ways of science as to being unable to define a woman. Or, for that sake, having the testicular fortitude to engage with the ravenous mob of this’s and that’s and they’s and where’s and who’s and xir’s and xadam’s that will eventually descend upon one’s head for daring to state such heresy as “men have greater upper body strength than women”. Something that should, by all measures, be a fairly innocent factual statement. But it ain’t, brother, oh bother, it ain’t.

Unless one is a TERF, of course, who all of a sudden understood that there are differences between men and women which would give biological men an unfair advantage in women’s sports, despite these same pundits having said and pushed and meant and furthermore stated that there are no differences between men and women which would mean that men and women fare differently through life. But, oh, never mind – history is so easily rewritten. Obviously, this is nothing but a sinister MRA-plot to undermine and utterly destroy women in women’s spaces. For all that is bad in the world is the fault of those pesky men, after all. Never have I ever seen a greater case of “careful what you wish for” than this absolute stupidity. You might get what you wish for. Shame it bent back and slapped women across the face.

God-damn it; it was only men meant to be inconvenienced. Back to the drawing-board, ladies, and figure out how this – built on feminist rhetoric – is the fault of men.

It is not man-made horrors beyond our comprehension that will be our downfall. It is man-made absurdities beyond our comprehension. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or crawl to the top of our barn and wave my dick about with all the dick-swagger I can muster, as some sort of strange and arcane sign of dumbfounded masculinity. Things eventually reached a point where the only thing left to do is sit, mouth wide open in abject horror, and laugh hysterically at everything. Honk-honk, motherfuckers. Now – pass me some of that brown acid. Otherwise, I would not be able to comprehend anything happening. Get me an eight-bag while your at it, please?

I may be a simple man with fairly simple pleasures. Thank God—living within the rules of this absurdity would be an impossible task. Which, one would assume, is the entire point of the thing. After all – no-one is without sin. Not within Christianity, nor within the ziggurat of woke. Meeting life on fairly simple terms makes for a better life. Less complicated. But for people who, purportedly, believe in nothing except the things that they believe then and there which are not things but nothing, simplicity is akin to stupidity. And when the only identity they have is that of woke pundit, or something built upon meaningless pronouns… well, I fear that looking into the mirror would be akin to staring into the abyss for people who are so devoured by the ways and the world of woke. They would not like what stares back. The self first, the rest after. Clean your bloody room, bucko.

Women can do everything men can do. But men can not do anything women can do. Even men identifying as women. This despite us supposedly being completely equal and similar. In writing the first, a very simple thing springs to my mind: the empress aims to remove anything that is distinctly masculine from men themselves, and deliver the masculine into the hands of women.

This then leads to a lack of a genuine and singular masculine identity for our boys and for our young men. In short – the man in the mirror may well be there, but the man in the mirror has no face. The only solely masculine identity left is that of a father, which women can not replace. The hordes of feminism and the hordes of woke then seek to rip apart fatherhood itself.

 Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Fathers are not as important as mothers, fathers are not nurturing or caring and are, really, not important in the lives of children.

Fret not – the state will provide, and the father shall be tarred and feathered and branded as a dead-beat loser. Should he seek through the courts to see his children, in the event of a divorce, this will be branded as him seeking only to abuse the woman further, using the courts.

An astute observer might notice that there is a certain pattern of projection in the mind of your typical garden-variety feminist. Anything a feminist says must necessarily be considered and pondered with this question in mind: “might this be a classic case of psychological projection?” Chances are the answer is yes. For a woman scorned may well use the children – by way of the courts – to further abuse a man. One notices, of course, that there is little care, little emphasis, on the well-being of the children. It is merely the mother that matters. Which, were all right with the world, should rightly be seen as utterly contemptible behaviour.

When our son was born, we got these papers to fill out. Our names, birthdate, things like that. The word “Father” was nowhere to be seen. There was “Mother”, “Together-mother” and “Partner”. Interesting, don’t you think, that the gender-neutral “Partner” did not apply to a female partner, who instead got the interesting term “Together-mother”? A female partner needed a specific feminine term. A male partner got the gender-neutral term. “Gender-neutral” has always meant that men shall not be named.

Admittedly, I am very happy that it did say “Mother” instead of the nonsensical made-up term “Birthing-parent”. Doesn’t change the fact that the word “Father” was nowhere to be seen, of course. Yet – women can be mothers, and that is a uniquely feminine identity. As it bloody well should be. Just as father ought to be a uniquely masculine identity. Yet – father as a masculine identity is being eroded. Just as any other positive masculine identity.

We are nothing no more, nothing but double negatives. Testosterone-poisoning and toxic masculinity, fragile masculinity and dead-beat dads. Single mothers should be celebrated on father’s day, which is a day that should really anyhow be replaced with “special person’s day”. For men can not have anything for men and for men only. Women may feel slighted and left out, and nothing is more important than a woman’s fleeting and momentary feelings. The notion that a man might feel somewhat perturbed and annoyed when he, as a father, is reduced to “Partner” whereas a female partner is elevated to “Together-mother” is either an alien notion or of little-to-no concern for the powers that be.

Fretting about this god-damned paper and this god-damned word might seem like a lot for relatively little. Yet, I don’t think that it is – I consider this to be yet another nail in the coffin for anything uniquely masculine. Might be a small nail, but that doesn’t mean that all the other nails are small, nor that small nails are incapable of closing the lid. It is worrisome. Genuinely so. On a personal note, I worry for the future of our young son. On a less personal, yet still important note, I worry for the future of all our young sons who may grow up never knowing themselves due to never being gifted a positive identity that is theirs and theirs alone; due to never finding anything that they must not immediately share with girls and with women.

Still, fret not and be not yet black-pilled, brothers: the man in the mirror may have no face, but it is getting easier for all to see that the empress has no clothes.

Moiret Allegiere
 

Moiret Allegiere

Moiret Allegiere (Born 1986) hails from Norway. A self-described scribbler of lines, juggler of words and weird pseudo-hermit, he became so concerned with the state of the world that he left his long and deliberate hibernation to wreak bloody havoc on the world of fine art and literature. his blog here. and one of his books here

community logo
Join the MenAreGood Community
To read more articles like this, sign up and join my community today
1
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
Articles
March 05, 2026
How Women Gaslight and Manipulate Men

Most boys are taught how to treat a girl. Almost nobody teaches them how they should be treated.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Tammy Sullivan (the “Manicured Mom”), author of How Women Gaslight and Manipulate Men. Tammy stumbled onto a massive TikTok trend openly teaching manipulation—and decided to “flip the script” and expose the tactics so men could recognize them, name them, and set boundaries.

We dig into the subtle, day-by-day moves that can erode a man’s confidence and isolate him from his friends, his hobbies, and even his family—things like the “real man” trap, backhanded compliments, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” using sex as leverage, and the weaponized “we need to talk.”

This isn’t about condemning women. It’s about giving men language, clarity, and self-respect—and helping healthy couples stop these patterns before they become a way of life. Men are good… and you deserve to be treated well, too.

Tammy’s book How Women Gaslight ...

01:01:55
February 26, 2026
Gynocentrism is Like Gravity

I’ve started experimenting with short music videos on men’s issues—this one focuses on gynocentrism.

I’m exploring whether concise, straightforward videos like this might reach and engage more people. I’d welcome your feedback and any suggestions.

00:02:41
February 12, 2026
A Conversation on Matrisensus — With Warren Farrell, Janice Fiamengo, Lisa Britton, David Shackleton, and Tom Golden

A Conversation on Matrisensus — With Warren Farrell, Janice Fiamengo, Lisa Britton, David Shackleton, and Tom Golden
David Shackleton’s newest book, Matrisensus, is not a small argument.

Matrisensus is not what happens when women are in charge. It is what happens when the family’s moral logic is applied where society’s civic logic should govern. In this sweeping examination, David shows how cultural consensus forms — and how it can come to center women’s experiences, priorities, and moral framing as the unquestioned norm. The mechanism, he argues, polarizes our moral narrative, distributing compassion and accountability not by conduct but by identity. The result is a culture in which designated victim groups are treated as morally untouchable, while those who question the framing are cast as suspect — with profound consequences for law, family, education, and public trust.

So a group uniquely qualified to engage these ideas gathered for this video.

Joining me were Warren Farrell, Janice Fiamengo, Lisa Britton, and of course the...

00:59:58
March 02, 2026
Men Don't Grieve the Way You Think

I had the good fortune to be interviewed by Jason MacKenzie, who runs the Man Down Substack—a publication dedicated to men and their unique paths to healing.

Many of you may not know that I spent many years working directly with men who were grappling with trauma and loss. Through that experience, it became strikingly clear to me that men and women are often treated very differently after a loss. Those early observations opened my eyes to the broader ways men face discrimination, misunderstanding, and hardship in our society. I hope you find the conversation interesting and worthwhile.

https://www.mandown.tools/p/men-dont-grieve-the-way-you-think?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

February 27, 2026
Are Some Women Waking Up?

This was sent to me by an alert viewer and shows a woman calling out the feminist lies about men being privileged. What do you think:

Another good one describe things extremely well.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1BXRPxMeiZ/?mibextid=wwXIfr

March 09, 2026
post photo preview
The Manosphere Study That Reveals Academic Panic




The Manosphere Study That Reveals Academic Panic

I recently read a new study titled Mapping the Neo-Manosphere(s): New Directions for Research. It presents itself as a serious academic effort to understand the changing world of the manosphere—male influencers, anti-feminist spaces, incels, online male grievance communities, and the growing variety of voices speaking to young men outside mainstream institutions.

But as I read it, I found myself thinking that the study reveals something else too.

It reveals, I think, a kind of academic panic.

That may sound harsh, but I do not mean panic in some cartoonish sense. I do not mean scholars sitting around trembling because young men are listening to Andrew Tate. I mean something deeper than that. I mean a worldview that is starting to sense it is losing its monopoly on meaning.

That phrase gets at the heart of the problem.

For a long time, a fairly narrow academic and media establishment had enormous power to define what men’s experience meant. If men spoke of pain, that pain could be reinterpreted. If they spoke of unfairness, that could be called backlash. If they objected to feminism, that could be framed as resentment, fragility, or misogyny. The gatekeepers held the language, the categories, and the moral authority. They got to decide what counted as truth and what counted as danger.

What I think we are seeing now is that this old arrangement is weakening.

More and more young men are stepping outside those approved frameworks. They are listening to voices that tell them something they do not often hear from the mainstream: that they are not crazy, that the culture has often been deeply unfair to men and boys, that feminism is not the neutral benevolent force it pretends to be, and that many of the judgments placed on masculinity are not only harsh but profoundly distorted.

That is a hard development for the academic world to control.

And I think this study shows signs of that loss of control.


The paper begins with suspicion, not curiosity

One of the first things that struck me is that the study does not really begin with open inquiry. It begins with a verdict.

The manosphere is described as an ecosystem of anti-feminist and male-supremacist groups, bound together by the belief that society is a misandrist conspiracy against men.

That is a remarkable way to begin.

Notice what has already happened before the real analysis even gets going. Men’s grievances are not treated as possibly true, partly true, exaggerated, mixed, confused, or grounded in lived experience. No, they are placed at once inside a framework of suspicion. They are treated as either supremacist, conspiratorial, or both.

That is not a small thing. It tells you a lot about the paper.

A genuinely curious scholar might ask: Are there legitimate grievances in these communities mixed in with anger and distortion? Are some young men responding to real experiences of humiliation, pathologizing, or neglect? Are there distinctions that need to be made between lonely men, bitter men, wounded men, manipulative men, hateful men, fathers’ rights advocates, incels, male self-help figures, and young men simply trying to make sense of a culture that often seems to dislike them?

This paper does not show much interest in those distinctions.

Instead, it starts by putting the whole subject inside a moral quarantine.


This is less mapping than boundary enforcement

The study claims to be “mapping” the neo-manosphere. But much of what it actually does is spread suspicion outward from the worst elements until almost every male-centered space starts to feel contaminated.

Incels, MRAs, MGTOW, gamers, male influencers, anti-feminists, NoFap communities, stoics, wellness figures, conservative women, “tradwives,” anti-trans spaces, conspiracy material, right-wing populism, and monetized self-help all get pulled into a broad ecosystem of harm, grievance, reaction, or radicalization.

Now of course some of these spaces overlap. Of course there are bad actors in some of them. Of course the internet creates strange and unstable alliances.

But overlap is not identity. Proximity is not sameness. Shared audiences do not prove shared motives.

And yet the paper repeatedly leans on this method. It widens the frame, darkens the tone, and allows moral suspicion to move outward by association.

That is one reason I say this is less scholarship than boundary enforcement.

It is not merely describing a phenomenon. It is warning the reader which kinds of male-centered thought should be treated as suspect.


Male pain is not understood. It is managed.

This is one of the deeper patterns I notice in studies like this.

When men speak of pain, they are rarely just listened to. More often their pain is analyzed, explained away, or treated as if it carries some hidden threat.

And that is very much the case here.

The paper does briefly acknowledge loneliness, insecurity, mental-health struggles, and alienation among men. But those things are not really allowed to stand on their own as human realities deserving genuine moral attention. They are quickly folded back into the preferred academic framework: misogyny, radicalization, grievance markets, pipelines, monetization, and male supremacy.

In other words, male pain is not really explored. It is managed.

That sounds harsh, but I think it is true.

It is part of a larger double standard that has become so common many people hardly notice it anymore. When women gather around grievance, they are often listened to with sympathy. When men gather around grievance, they are often investigated with suspicion. When women are angry, we ask what happened to them. When men are angry, we ask who influenced them. When women seek solidarity, it is called healing. When men do, it is called a pipeline.

That difference matters. It tells us something important about the moral atmosphere in which these studies are written.


Even male self-help is treated as suspicious

Another thing that stood out to me is how the paper treats self-improvement in men.

Stoicism, discipline, fitness, confidence, anti-porn movements, semen retention, purpose, self-mastery, masculine restoration—again and again these are framed as entangled with grift, insecurity, reaction, or male supremacism.

Now certainly there are grifters in that world. Some male influencers are ridiculous. Some are exploitative. Some mix useful advice with ego, ideology, or posturing. That is true.

But there is another question that this paper has very little interest in asking: why are so many men drawn to those things in the first place?

Could it be because many men do not feel helped by the official culture? Could it be because schools often do not understand boys, therapy often speaks in a language many men experience as alien, and the broader culture often approaches masculinity with criticism rather than respect? Could it be because action, discipline, competence, structure, challenge, and purpose are not pathological male fantasies but part of how many men actually regain stability?

That possibility receives very little room here.

Instead, male forms of self-repair are treated with suspicion, as though any attempt by men to rebuild themselves outside approved therapeutic and ideological channels is likely to be contaminated.

This is one of the places where the paper feels especially revealing. It seems unable to imagine that men might turn toward masculine discipline not because they long to dominate, but because they are trying to survive.


The study also polices explanation

I was also struck by how clearly the paper wants to police the boundaries of acceptable thought.

It looks suspiciously on evolutionary psychology, on sex-difference approaches, and on those who question whether boys should always be encouraged to process emotion according to models more naturally suited to girls. It warns against views that emphasize biology or that reject the reigning social-constructionist framework.

That is very telling.

This is not simply disagreement about evidence. It is an attempt to decide in advance which kinds of explanation are morally acceptable and which are to be treated as suspect intrusions.

Again, that is why the phrase defensive ideological maintenance fits so well.

When a worldview is confident, it can tolerate competing explanations. It can test itself. It can afford curiosity.

When it is losing ground, it becomes more protective, more censorious, and more likely to turn scholarship into a kind of intellectual border patrol.

That is what I feel in this paper.


Why this is happening now

I do not think this kind of scholarship is appearing in a vacuum.

For a long time, the dominant academic and media culture enjoyed something close to a monopoly on how gender questions were interpreted. It could define the terms, assign the moral categories, and dismiss dissenters as backward, defensive, or dangerous. It could make its own assumptions look like simple decency.

That is harder to do now.

Young men can now hear very different interpretations of the world. They can hear criticisms of feminism that once would have been filtered out or ridiculed into silence. They can hear discussions about schools, dating, fatherlessness, therapy, family courts, media bias, double standards, false accusations, and the casual contempt often shown toward masculinity.

Some of these voices are wise. Some are foolish. Some are helpful. Some are toxic. But mixed into all of that is a message many young men recognize immediately: the culture has not been honest with you.

That message lands because it speaks to experience.

And once that begins happening on a large scale, the old gatekeepers no longer get to decide so easily what things mean.

That is what I mean by losing a monopoly on meaning.

I think that loss is one of the real drivers behind the strained tone of studies like this one. They are not just trying to describe a phenomenon. They are trying to recover authority over its interpretation.


A worldview under pressure will label more aggressively

One of the things that often happens when an ideology starts losing ground is that it leans more heavily on labels.

It becomes less curious and more managerial. Less open to complexity and more eager to classify. Instead of asking why people are leaving, it spends more time warning others not to follow them. Instead of listening, it maps. Instead of persuading, it pathologizes.

That pattern is all over this study.

The language is heavy with terms like supremacy, radicalization, contagion, pipelines, harm, and grievance. Some of those words may fit some corners of the manosphere. But in this paper they often do more than describe. They stigmatize. They mark certain kinds of male speech as inherently suspect.

That is why the piece feels so tense to me.

It has the tone of a worldview under pressure.

Not a worldview calmly examining reality, but one sensing that the ground beneath it is shifting.

 

What honest scholarship would do

A more honest study would begin from a more human place.

It would ask why so many boys and men are looking elsewhere for understanding.

It would ask why schools so often seem better fitted to girls than to boys.

It would ask why so many men experience therapy as alien or feminizing.

It would ask why criticism of feminism so often triggers moral panic rather than real debate.

It would ask whether some forms of masculine self-help arise not from domination, but from the failure of mainstream institutions to offer men forms of help that actually fit them.

And it would ask perhaps the most difficult question of all: whether some of what young men are hearing in these disapproved spaces contains not just resentment, but truth.

That would take courage.

It would also require scholars to question their own assumptions.

That may be exactly what they are least prepared to do.


Final thoughts

In the end, I do not think this paper tells us nearly as much about the manosphere as it tells us about the academic establishment.

It shows us a style of scholarship that has grown accustomed to interpreting men from above, with suspicion already built in. It shows us an intellectual class that has trouble distinguishing between male grievance and male supremacy, between masculine restoration and political danger, between unsupervised thought and extremism. And most of all, it shows us what happens when a worldview senses it is losing its monopoly on meaning.

That is why the paper feels the way it does.

It does not feel open. It does not feel genuinely curious. It does not feel like careful inquiry.

It feels like academic panic.

And I think more and more people are starting to notice.

Men Are Good.

Read full Article
February 23, 2026
post photo preview
Where Galoway Stops Short
Calling Men to Rise Without Naming What Pushed Them Down

Where Galoway Stops Short - Calling Men to Rise Without Naming What Pushed Them Down

Something unusual has happened in mainstream culture: a prominent public figure has spoken to men without contempt.

In his widely circulated reflections on masculinity, Scott Galloway tells men things they rarely hear anymore — that discipline matters, that status is real, that no one is coming to save them, and that adulthood still requires effort, competence, and responsibility.

In a culture that often speaks about men as a problem to be managed, he speaks to them as adults.

That alone makes his work a step in the right direction.

But it is only a step.

Because embedded within his message are two assumptions that deserve closer examination.



When Pain Is Treated Like Weather

Galloway acknowledges that many men are struggling. He names loneliness, economic displacement, sexual exclusion, and a growing sense of irrelevance.

But these realities are framed as impersonal shifts — like automation, globalization, or changing markets. The world evolved. Adapt.

There is no villain. No moral accounting. Just conditions.

But much of what men are experiencing did not unfold quietly or accidentally.

It happened in open daylight.

For decades now:

  • Boys have been described as “toxic.”

  • Masculinity has been framed as inherently dangerous.

  • Fathers have been treated as optional.

  • Male ambition has been recoded as domination.

  • Male restraint has been interpreted as emotional deficiency.

These were not subtle cultural breezes. They were institutionalized narratives — repeated in media, education, and public discourse.

Men did not imagine this shift. They lived through it.

To speak about male pain without acknowledging the cultural disdain that preceded it is to ghost the very experience men are trying to make sense of.

If a man absorbs, year after year, the message that his nature is suspect, the shame that follows does not originate inside him.

It is absorbed.

And absorbed shame cannot be healed by discipline alone.



Responsibility Without Reciprocity

The second issue is not that Galloway calls men to responsibility.

Responsibility matters.

Structure matters.

Competence matters.

Men do not need to be rescued from adulthood.

But when responsibility is presented as the sole remedy — without acknowledging cultural injury — it subtly transforms pain into proof of failure.

If you are hurting, you must not have adapted well enough.

If you are struggling, you must not be disciplined enough.

Pain becomes diagnostic of insufficiency.

That may produce functionality.
It does not necessarily produce healing.

And it quietly leaves the culture itself unexamined.



What This Is Not

Let me be clear about something.

This is not an argument for coddling men.

It is not an argument for lowering standards.
It is not an argument for emotional indulgence or endless processing circles.
It is not an argument for turning men into women.

Men do not need to be babied.

They need to be understood accurately.



What Men Actually Need

What is missing from the conversation is something I would call respect-based empathy.

Respect-based empathy does not treat men as fragile.
It does not assume that emotional expression is superior to endurance.
It does not pathologize male withdrawal.

It recognizes that men often heal differently — and that those differences deserve admiration rather than suspicion.

When a man withdraws for a day or two after a setback, that may not be avoidance. It may be integration. When he fixes something, builds something, runs hard, works longer hours, or goes quiet, he may be metabolizing stress in a deeply male way.

For many men, solitude is not escape. It is work.

But in a culture that filters coping through a single emotional style, male processing is easily misread as deficiency.

And that misreading quietly reinforces the very problem we claim to address.



Admiration Is Fuel

Men are fueled by admiration and respect.

Not indulgence.
Not protection.
Respect.

When a man feels respected, he expands.
When he feels perpetually scrutinized or pathologized, he contracts.

The cultural shift that would help men most is not softer expectations.

It is moral clarity.

Clarity that says:

“Yes, some of this pain did not originate inside you.”
“Yes, some of it came from narratives that diminished you.”
“And yes, the way you work through it has dignity.”

Responsibility matters.

But responsibility without acknowledgment of cultural harm becomes another burden.

Strength and suffering can coexist.

Calling men to rise without first admitting that they were pushed down in public view is not maturity. It is amnesia.

And offering responsibility without respect-based empathy risks reinforcing the very isolation we claim to address.

Men do not need coddling.

They need to be seen clearly.

They need standards, yes — but they also need a culture wise enough to recognize the dignity in how they endure.

Until we add that understanding, responsibility alone is not enough.

Men Are Good.

Read full Article
February 19, 2026
post photo preview
Do Men Face Prejudice?
A dissertation that reveals what the APA quietly overlook


Do Men Face Prejudice?

A dissertation that reveals what the APA quietly overlook

The American Psychological Association likes to remind us that psychology should be guided by empathy, cultural awareness, and respect for lived experience. Few would argue with that. These values are written directly into the APA Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men, published in 2018.

On paper, the Guidelines sound humane and thoughtful. They urge psychologists to be gender-sensitive, to avoid stereotyping, to understand the social contexts shaping boys’ and men’s lives, and to guard against bias that might harm the therapeutic alliance.

All good things.

But there is an important question we almost never ask:

What happens when those principles are applied fully and consistently to men — including the possibility that men themselves may be targets of prejudice?

A largely unknown doctoral dissertation from 2020 offers a surprisingly clear answer.



A brief introduction most people never received

In 2020, psychologist Aman Siddiqi completed a doctoral dissertation titled A Clinical Guide to Discussing Prejudice Against Men. It was submitted quietly, without media attention or controversy, and has remained largely invisible outside academic circles.

That is unfortunate — because it does something rare.

Rather than arguing politics or ideology, Siddiqi does something very simple and very professional:
He takes the existing psychological science on prejudice and asks whether it applies to men.

Not rhetorically. Clinically.

He does not invent new standards. He does not dismiss women’s issues. Instead, he asks whether psychologists may be overlooking an entire category of harm because it doesn’t fit the dominant narrative.

And in doing so, his work quietly exposes a tension at the heart of the APA Guidelines themselves.



What the APA Guidelines say — and what they assume

The APA Guidelines for Boys and Men emphasize several themes that many clinicians will recognize:

  • Boys and men are shaped by restrictive gender norms

  • Emotional suppression harms mental health

  • Masculinity can be socially reinforced in unhealthy ways

  • Psychologists should challenge stereotypes and build empathy

All of that ​may be true — as far as it goes.

But notice something subtle.

The Guidelines overwhelmingly frame men as:

  • Shaped by norms

  • Socialized into restriction

  • Influenced by expectations

What they almost never frame men as is this:

Targets of prejudice.

This matters more than it might seem.



Why “prejudice” is not the same as “socialization”

Siddiqi’s dissertation makes a distinction that is obvious once you see it — and strangely absent from much of clinical training.

Socialization asks:

“What messages did you absorb growing up?”

Prejudice asks:

“How are you perceived, judged, dismissed, or morally framed by others right now?”

These are not the same thing.

A man may be distressed not only because he learned to suppress emotion — but because when he does express vulnerability, he is:

  • Not believed

  • Seen as dangerous

  • Treated as less worthy of care

  • Assumed to be at fault

The APA Guidelines speak at length about helping men change themselves.
Siddiqi asks whether psychology has done enough to question how men are viewed.

That shift alone is quietly radical.



The empathy gap we don’t name

One of the strongest parts of Siddiqi’s work is his discussion of what he calls the male gender empathy gap — the tendency to respond less sympathetically to male suffering, especially when it conflicts with familiar narratives.

This is not framed as cruelty. It is framed as normalization.

Some prejudices persist not because people hate a group — but because dismissing that group’s suffering has become socially acceptable.

Siddiqi outlines several mechanisms that maintain this acceptability:

  • Trivialization (“It’s not that serious.”)

  • Denial (“That doesn’t really happen.”)

  • Justification (“There must be a reason.”)

  • Intimidation (“You can’t say that.”)

If you’ve worked with men long enough, you’ve heard these dynamics described — often haltingly — in the therapy room.

The APA Guidelines warn clinicians not to invalidate clients.
Siddiqi shows how invalidation happens when male distress falls outside approved frames.



When good intentions become blind spots

Perhaps the most uncomfortable implication of Siddiqi’s dissertation is this:

Clinicians themselves may unintentionally participate in prejudice against men — precisely because their training never gave them a framework to recognize it.

When a man describes feeling:

  • Disbelieved in a conflict

  • Treated as disposable

  • Assumed to be dangerous

  • Morally pre-judged

A well-meaning therapist may instinctively:

  • Reframe the experience

  • Redirect responsibility

  • Minimize the injury

  • Interpret it as defensiveness or entitlement

Not out of malice — but out of habit.

The APA Guidelines urge psychologists to be self-reflective about bias.
Siddiqi asks whether psychology has reflected deeply enough on its gender asymmetries.



A question the Guidelines never quite ask

The APA is comfortable naming androcentrism — male-centered bias — in culture.

Siddiqi raises a quieter question:

What happens when cultural sympathy flows primarily in one direction?

He uses the term gynocentrism not as an accusation, but as a descriptive lens — a way of understanding how concern, protection, and moral framing may cluster unevenly.

Whether one accepts the term or not, the phenomenon it points to is familiar to many men:

  • Female suffering is presumed legitimate

  • Male suffering is often contextualized, explained, or doubted

The APA Guidelines never directly address this imbalance.
Siddiqi does — calmly, clinically, and without rhetoric.



Why this matters now

In recent years, we’ve seen growing concern about:

  • Male loneliness

  • Male suicide

  • Boys disengaging from school

  • Men dropping out of institutions

Many responses still default to:

“Men need to open up.”
“Men need to change.”
“Men need better coping skills.”

Those may help.

But Siddiqi’s dissertation suggests something deeper:

If we never examine how men are seen, we will keep asking men to adapt to environments that quietly misperceive them.

The APA Guidelines aim to help boys and men.
Siddiqi’s work asks what those guidelines truly require — if we apply them without exemptions.



A final thought

This dissertation does not reject psychology’s values.

It takes them seriously.

And in doing so, it reveals a simple, uncomfortable possibility:

We may believe we are being fair to men — while still failing to see them clearly.

That is not an accusation.
It is an invitation.

And it is one psychology would do well to accept.

Read full Article
See More
Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals