We know that there is likely a connection of our childhood trauma with present day depression and a host of other possible related problems. Basically, the old unprocessed stories from our youth have the tendency to accumulate and disappear from our conscious awareness. Even though we lack conscious awareness, the stories can still have an impact on different parts of our lives such as depression, alcohol abuse, relationship turmoil, suicide attempts and others. But what can be done about this?
Freud knew in the early 20th century that a trauma that is relived, felt on an emotional level, remembered visually and experienced in the body was a trauma likely to be decreased in its negative impact on our psyche. He really did have the basics down. We have learned a good deal since then and modern day therapy tries to put that to use. Many forms of therapy are based on this general idea.
One basic idea in therapy is to help the person tell their old stories and do this from a safe place. Research has shown that simply remembering or reliving a trauma is not always a good thing. If old trauma are remembered during a panic attack that does not seem to have a similar therapeutic impact. What has been found is that the remembering needs to be accomplished from a place of safety. Good therapy helps in finding a safe way to relive the upsetting memories and untie those knots that we have in our hearts and minds.
TRY THIS
Safety is a critical element in healing old stories. This calls on us to learn to relax and relax deeply. Use your favorite relaxation technique and monitor your rate of breathing. As we relax our breath slows down. With practice you can slow it down more and more. When you think you are relaxed, count the number of breaths you take per minute. You can use that number as a baseline. You can probably get it lower! Research has shown that when we can slow the breath down, and keep it down for 15-20 minutes a day lots of good things happen. Remember, this should not be a struggle. Don't force the breath one way or the other, just focus on your relaxation and use the breath as a gauge. This can be a critical first step in relieving yourself of family of origin burdens.
See you next Tuesday for another look at feeling good in a red pill world. Men are good. As are you!