MenAreGood
Lobby for Women, Lobby for Men? Gynocentrism
June 23, 2024
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The argument usually goes something like this:  Feminist discusses domestic violence with an emphasis on men being the problem. The MRA responds that men are indeed victims of domestic violence and yet they don't have any services available when they are victimized.  Feminist says that men are only a tiny fraction of the victims.  Then she gets read the research quoted by her own feminists, that says men are at least a third of the victims.  It's at this point that the magic happens.  What does she say?

If you want services for men you need to build them just like WE built this for women.

This implies all sorts of things, one of which is that she was involved in the actual building process as were lots of other women.  This of course is nonsense.  Who built the services for women?  MEN.  Who legislated the money to do this? MEN. Who paid the taxes to make that happen?   Men. Who actually built the systems with brick and mortar?  MEN.  I am betting she didn't lift a finger but it is an easy ploy on her part to say this. It immediately puts the burden on men to do their part!  LOL!  Of course it implies that the problem is the fault of men.  Importantly, it also relieves her of any responsibility since she has "already done the work."

But why is it that it is so easy for her to say this and why is it that systems get built for women only?  Gynocentrism. When women ask for things men will jump in to help. They want to give women services particularly if it has to do with making her safe. But do women have a similar urge for men's safety?  No. Women don't seem to have much interest at all in making sure that men are safe.  This makes it clear that gynocentrism is involved.  Men geared to do things for women but women not usually geared to do things for men. (The needs of women are a call to action, the needs of men are, well, taboo.) Women are geared to do things for their children but not usually the men in the same way.

So when women ask for assistance of some kind it is usually a downhill trip.  It might take a while but her concerns are heard and her needs are attended to.  So here is a pic of the downhill trip women have when asking for things from blue pill men

But what does it look like when men try and ask for things for men?  I have been involved in many situations where men were asking for assistance in one way or another.  Men tend to not like to do that, but when they do what do they get?  Resistance!

The difference between the two is large.  Most women don't have a clue how hard it is to get things for men.  Their only experience has been the hard fight to get things for women. And it is a hard fight but for men it is nearly an impossible fight.  Most will likely assume that it is the same difficulty for both women and men but they are incorrect due to their limited experience and their own gynocentrism.

The point is to let both men and women know that trying to get services for men is a very difficult task and one that rarely succeeds. It wouldn’t hurt to let our legislators know this also. Gynocentrism runs silent and it runs deep.

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August 20, 2025
Meet TheTinMen

In this conversation, I sit down with George from The Tin Men—a powerful voice bringing clarity, humor, and hard-hitting truth to men’s issues. George has a unique talent for condensing complex topics like male loneliness, the dismantling of men’s spaces, suicide, and the gender pay gap into short, sharp, and digestible messages. Together, we react to some of his videos and dive into everything from fatherlessness and gangs, to the “man vs. bear” debate, to the failures of therapy for men, and even the overlooked crisis of suicide in construction. It’s a wide-ranging discussion that highlights both the challenges men face and the hope we’re starting to see for real change.

Georges Links!

Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/thetinmen/

Youtube — https://www.youtube.com/@TheTinMenBlog

LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/gohorne/

X— https://x.com/TheTinMenBlog

Tom's post about 15 things Maryland can do for boys and men.
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01:04:30
August 07, 2025
Are Men Great of Good? Yes!

Time for a male-positive message. I created this video a while back, but its message remains as important and timeless as ever. I’d love for it to reach boys who’ve been told—explicitly or implicitly—that there’s something wrong with being male. After so much negativity about men and masculinity, they need to hear something different. They need to hear something true, strong, and affirming.

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August 02, 2025
Engineered Fatherlessness Creates Chaos

This 2021 video explores the growing issue of fatherlessness, questioning whether it’s been deliberately engineered or simply allowed to happen. It exposes the fact that we knew even in the 1960’s the devastating impact of not having fathers in the home. It shows some little known, and basically ignored research about this issue. Yes, Dan Quayle was correct!

Social Structure and Criminal Victimizationhttps://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022427888025001003

Moynihan Reporthttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Negro_Family:_The_Case_For_National_Action

McClanahan researchhttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3904543/Murphy Brownhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy_Brown

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February 07, 2023
The Way Boys Play and the Biological Underpinnings

My apologies for the last empty post. My mistake. Let's hope this one works.

Tom takes a stab at using the podcast function. Let's see how it goes.

The Way Boys Play and the Biological Underpinnings
May 13, 2022
Boys and Rough Play

This is a short excerpt from Helping Mothers be Closer to their Sons. The book was meant for single mothers who really don't know much about boy's nature. They also don't have a man in the house who can stand up for the boy and his unique nature. It tries to give them some ideas about how boys and girls are different. This excerpt is about play behaviors.

Boys and Rough Play

The Best, effective and clearest video on this subject I ever seen! Every man and boy should watch and learn.
10 out of 10!!!
A Absalutly must watch!!!

Another great video from Gabby on how Radical Feminism dehumanizes Men. And she showed a pic of Paul Elam and Tom Golden with others. As people trying to humanize and help men.

Worth a watch

August 04, 2025
False Accuser Exposed in World Junior Hockey Trial Verdict - Janice Fiamengo

Janices essay brings to life the idea that when falsely accused men are found not guilty they still lose. Worse yet, the false accuser reaps benefits. Thank you Janice for pulling this informative and infuriating piece together. Men Are Good.

https://fiamengofile.substack.com/cp/170141035

August 27, 2025
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6 Things the Mental Health Industry Gets Wrong About Men

Preface: The Double Bind Men Face

In a previous post, we looked at how men are often excluded from help when they appear dependent. Our focus was on culture—how society expects men to remain independent, and how men who fail to meet that standard are judged as weak or less deserving of care. These judgments come from all directions—women, men, institutions, and even therapists.

It’s easy to see how this cultural default discourages men from seeking therapy. If help is only for those who admit weakness, and admitting weakness means you lose status, the path forward becomes nearly impossible. Most men learn early: always appear independent. Don’t ask. Don’t need.

Therapy, on the other hand, requires vulnerability. It asks men to reveal struggle, uncertainty, and emotional need. For many, that feels like walking directly into the line of fire—the very place they’ve been punished before. No wonder so many avoid it unless they absolutely have to.

What we’ll explore today is an added layer—one that comes from inside the man himself. Not just cultural messaging, but biological wiring. Men receive a double push: society tells them to be independent, and their biology—especially testosterone—echoes that same directive.

In the post below, we’ll take a closer look at how testosterone shapes men’s emotional behavior, especially in therapeutic settings. The more we understand what’s going on beneath the surface, the more compassion—and effectiveness—we can bring to the work of helping men heal.


 




6 Things the Mental Health Industry Gets Wrong About Men


We’ve built a mental health system that often misunderstands men.
Not because therapists don’t care, or because the science isn’t out there—but because many of the core assumptions about men’s emotional lives are built on a framework that fits women better than men. And that misfit? It drives men away. It leaves them unseen. And it often shames them for responding in ways that are biologically and psychologically normal for males. A 2011 paper by Eisenegger, Haushofer, and Fehr—The Role of Testosterone in Social Interaction—offers a major insight: testosterone drives status sensitivity, motivation, risk-taking, and protective emotional strategies. When we understand that, a lot of “male resistance” to therapy starts making sense. Here are six key things the mental health field gets wrong about men—and how we can do better.




1. “Men avoid therapy because they fear vulnerability.”

The truth: Many men avoid therapy because it feels like a status threat—and testosterone reinforces that instinct.

Testosterone heightens a man’s sensitivity to social threats—especially those that signal a potential loss of standing, respect, or dominance. Angry facial expressions, emotional pressure, unclear expectations, or even intense eye contact can feel like status challenges rather than invitations to connect.

Layered on top of that biology is a lifetime of cultural training. Most men grow up learning that independence is strength—and dependence is weakness. They’re taught to solve problems alone, not reveal them. Testosterone supports this stance by motivating status-seeking, autonomy, and competitive positioning.

So when a man is invited into therapy and asked to reveal his inner world, he’s not just being asked to share—he’s being asked to violate both his biology and his conditioning. What’s called “resistance” is often a natural response to a situation that feels unfamiliar, disempowering, and loaded with risk.

In those moments, you might see him:

  • Break eye contact and look down or away

  • Sit back, go quiet, or shift posture to reduce tension

  • Use humor to deflect

  • Say very little—not because he doesn’t care, but because the wrong move could cost him

This isn’t fear of vulnerability. It’s a biologically wired instinct to protect status in uncertain environments—amplified by a lifetime of being told that asking for help means you’ve already failed.

2. “Men are emotionally disconnected.”

The truth: Men often process emotion differently—testosterone shifts how they engage empathy, especially in high-stakes or competitive situations.

Research shows that testosterone reduces automatic empathy responses—like facial mimicry or reading subtle emotional cues—particularly in contexts that might involve competition or threat. That doesn’t mean men don’t care or don’t feel. It means their emotional systems are tuned to assess, not absorb, especially when status or safety is on the line.

Culturally, boys are often discouraged from emotional openness early in life. They’re rewarded for composure, strength, and staying in control. Over time, they learn to internalize emotion, rather than externalize it.

So in adulthood, especially under pressure, men may not “mirror” emotion in familiar ways:

  • He doesn’t match a sad face with a sad face

  • He misses subtle emotional cues unless they’re made explicit

  • He stays logical or matter-of-fact during emotional conversations

  • He may look emotionally “flat” when he’s actually carefully regulating or analyzing what’s happening

This isn’t emotional disconnection—it’s emotional management, shaped by both biology and lifelong social feedback. When we stop expecting men to respond like women—and instead tune into how they do engage—we start to see that empathy is there. It just speaks a different language.

3. “Men don’t trust easily because they’re guarded or cynical.”

The truth: Testosterone lowers baseline trust in uncertain situations—especially when status or vulnerability is involved.

Testosterone has been shown to reduce generalized trust, particularly in high-stakes or competitive settings. This isn’t paranoia or dysfunction—it’s strategic. In evolutionary terms, misplaced trust could mean defeat, betrayal, or loss of position. Testosterone prepares men to assess before they invest.

Culturally, this gets reinforced by repeated experience. Many men have learned the hard way that opening up too quickly can backfire—especially if it exposes weakness, emotional need, or dependence.

So when a man enters a new environment like therapy—or even a relationship conflict—he’s not defaulting to cynicism. He’s scanning for clarity, fairness, and safety.

You might see him:

  • Hold back emotionally, even when invited to open up

  • Look for hidden motives or question the process

  • Rely on himself rather than ask for support

  • Be slow to believe reassurance, especially if things feel emotionally tense

This isn’t distrust in you personally. It’s the biological and social consequence of having been trained—internally and externally—to protect himself from being taken advantage of.

Trust, for many men, isn’t the starting point. It’s the result of consistent respect, clear expectations, and earned safety over time.

4. “Real healing happens when you express your emotions.”

The truth: For many men, healing happens through action—and testosterone supports that path.

Testosterone isn’t just about strength or competition—it’s about drive. It fuels goal-directed behavior, reward-seeking, and persistence. That’s why many men don’t process pain by sitting in it—they process it by moving through it.

Add to that the cultural message boys receive from early on: emotions are private, not public. While girls are often socialized to verbalize and share, boys are encouraged to channel, contain, or convert emotion into something productive.

So when a man loses someone, faces failure, or hits a life crisis, he often doesn’t head straight for a therapist’s office or a tearful conversation. He heads for action.

You’ll see it in the man who:

  • Rebuilds the deck after his father dies

  • Launches a scholarship fund in his son’s name

  • Pours himself into work after a breakup

  • Withdraws to plan, repair, or restore a sense of control

These aren’t distractions from emotion. They are emotional expressions—just in a different form. In fact, research suggests that testosterone supports action-based coping and suppresses affiliative, emotionally expressive tendencies in competitive or high-stress situations.

And here’s something crucial:
Men don’t just take action for action’s sake. They often do it in honor of someone or something. A man builds the bench his father always talked about. He organizes a tournament in his son’s name. He finishes the project his friend never got to complete.

When action is combined with honoring, it becomes something more than coping—it becomes a ritual of healing. The doing and the remembering work together. The movement carries meaning.

If we keep insisting that healing must look like emotional disclosure, we risk invalidating the very real ways men already process grief, loss, and pain—through effort, honor, and purpose.

5. “Men’s silence means they’re emotionally shut down.”

The truth: Men’s silence is often a protective response—shaped by testosterone, experience, and emotional strategy.

Silence in men is one of the most misunderstood behaviors in therapy, relationships, and even friendships. It’s often labeled as avoidance, stonewalling, or disconnection. But more often than not, it’s something very different.

Testosterone enhances status sensitivity and threat vigilance—especially in social situations where expectations are unclear or the stakes feel high. In those moments, going quiet isn’t about disengaging; it’s about managing risk. For many men, silence is a way to preserve dignity, reduce the chance of saying something regrettable, or buy time to process complex emotion.

Culturally, boys are also taught to be cautious about emotional exposure. If you speak too soon, or too openly, it can be used against you. So many men learn that staying quiet isn’t failure—it’s control.

In these moments, you might see a man:

  • Go quiet during conflict, not out of indifference, but to keep from escalating

  • Look away or physically retreat when overwhelmed, not to disconnect, but to recalibrate

  • Say “I don’t know” when he actually means “I’m not sure how to say this without getting it wrong”

This isn’t emotional shutdown. It’s strategic silence.

And here’s the key: when that silence is met with respect instead of pressure, many men will eventually speak. But only after they’ve had time to feel safe, oriented, and prepared to respond on their own terms.


6. “If men just opened up more, therapy would work better for them.”

The truth: Therapy needs to adapt to men—not the other way around.

The prevailing model of talk therapy often assumes that emotional expression, verbal processing, and vulnerability are the starting point of healing. But for many men, that’s the end point—something that only comes after safety, trust, and shared purpose have been firmly established.

Testosterone plays a key role here. It supports behaviors that protect autonomy, status, and goal-directed action. It doesn’t reward emotional exposure unless that exposure serves a larger mission—like protecting someone, honoring a loss, or building something meaningful.

Culturally, men have been conditioned to associate emotional openness with dependency, and dependency with shame or failure. From early on, they’ve been taught that independence equals strength—and strength equals worth.

So when therapy immediately asks men to "share their feelings," it can feel like a request to abandon everything they've been rewarded for their whole lives.

That’s not resistance. It’s identity conflict.

If we want therapy to work better for men, we have to start where they are:

  • Use structure, goals, and action as entry points

  • Build trust through consistency, not intensity

  • Offer dignity and choice, not pressure

  • Make room for silence, strategy, and movement

  • Respect independence, even while inviting connection

Men don’t need to become less male to heal. They need a therapeutic space that honors how they already process the world.

Final Thoughts: What Happens When We Get Men Wrong

🎯
 

Each of these six points challenges a core assumption in the mental health world—and offers a window into something deeper.

Men aren’t broken because they don’t fit the standard therapeutic mold.
They’re different. And that difference is both biological and cultural.

When we ignore testosterone’s role in shaping how men respond to trust, status, emotion, and healing, we don’t just miss the mark—we risk pushing men further away from the very support we say they need.

It’s not that men are avoiding healing. It’s that healing, as it’s often framed, doesn’t speak their language.

But when we build bridges—when we respect silence, honor action, adapt expectations, and treat men’s instincts as worthy of trust—something changes.

Men show up.

They engage.

Not by becoming less male. But by being deeply understood as men.

That’s when therapy starts to work.
And that’s when our culture begins to shift—one man, one truth, one act of respect at a time.

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August 25, 2025
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False Allegations Target Millions Around the World, Survey Reveals


Another excellent press release from DAVIA exposing one of the most damaging feminist falsehoods: the denial of false accusations.

The numbers in this study tell a powerful story—false accusations are not rare. They affect a significant number of people, and the impact is real.

Posted: https://endtodv.org/pr/false-allegations-target-millions-around-the-world-survey-reveals/


++++++++++++++

PRESS RELEASE

Henry Herrera: +1-301-801-0608

Email: [email protected]

False Allegations Target Millions Around the World, Survey Reveals

August 25, 2025 – Earlier this month a U.S. jury returned a stunning $58 million verdict for Sean MacMaster, who had been falsely accused of child sexual abuse. When MacMaster became embroiled in a child custody dispute, his former wife Johanna falsely accused the man of child abuse. The woman went so far as to propose to Sean that agreeing to terminate his parental rights would be his “get out-of-jail-free card.” (1, 2)

The case represents one of the largest awards ever rendered for a wrongful allegation.

A new survey conducted in Argentina, Australia, United Kingdom, and the United States reveals false allegations are more widespread than many persons realize.

Sponsored by the Domestic Abuse and Violence International Alliance, the survey found that substantial percentages of persons in these countries report ever being falsely accused of abuse. Multiplied by the total adult population in each country, the survey reveals millions of persons – mostly men – say they have been falsely accused of abuse:

  • Argentina: 11% -- 3.4 million persons falsely accused

    • Males: 16%; Females: 7%

  • Australia: 13% -- 3.5 million persons falsely accused

    • Males: 18%; Females; 9%

  • United Kingdom: 4% -- 2.1 million persons falsely accused

    • Males: 6%; Females: 2%

  • United States: 8% -- 20.6 million persons falsely accused

    • Males: 11%; Females: 6%

As revealed by the Sean MacMaster case, a substantial number of false allegations are made in the context of a child custody dispute. Depending on the country, one-fifth to two-fifths of respondents said the false allegations were made as part of a child custody situation.

Conducted by YouGov, survey respondents consisted of adults ages 18+ in Argentina (n=1,069), Australia (n=1,061), United Kingdom (n=2,081), and the United States (n=1,252). The figures have been weighted and are representative of all adults ages 18+. Fieldwork was undertaken July 21 to August 8, 2025. The survey was conducted using an online interview administered to members of the YouGov panel of persons who had agreed to participate.

The survey defined domestic abuse as including domestic violence, child abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of abuse. The survey utilized the identical questions and methods as a previous DAVIA survey conducted in 2023. (3)

Detailed survey responses, broken down by the respondents’ sex, age, and geographical region, are available online:

  • Argentina (4)

  • Australia (5)

  • United Kingdom (6)

  • United States (7)

In response to the widespread problem of false allegations, International Falsely Accused Day was established in 2020, and is observed every year on September 9. (8) The Domestic Abuse and Violence International Alliance urges lawmakers, prosecutors, family judges, and others to work to end the current epidemic of false allegations.

The Domestic Abuse and Violence International Alliance – DAVIA — consists of 194 member organizations from 40 countries in Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe, Latin America, and North America. DAVIA seeks to ensure that domestic violence and abuse polices are science-based, family-affirming, and gender-inclusive. https://endtodv.org/davia/

Links:

  1. Jury returns $58.5M verdict in lawsuit involving disgraced prosecutor

  2. MacMaster v. Busacca et al. Case No. 2:21-cv-11052. January 27, 2025.

  3. https://endtodv.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/8-Country-False-Allegation-Survey-8-3.15.2023.xlsx

  4. https://endtodv.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/2025FASurvey-Argentina.xlsx

  5. https://endtodv.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/2025FASurvey-Australia.xlsx

  6. https://endtodv.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/2025FASurvey-UK.xlsx

  7. https://endtodv.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/2025FASurvey-US.xlsx

  8. https://www.falselyaccusedday.com/

Posted: https://endtodv.org/pr/false-allegations-target-millions-around-the-world-survey-reveals/

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August 22, 2025
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When Parents Magazine Becomes the Thought Police for Your Son
A recent article about “redpilled” boys reveals more about our culture’s discomfort with male voices than it does about the boys themselves.
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