MenAreGood
The Reality of False Rape Allegations
November 19, 2024
 

Throughout history, no culture has believed that all people are inherently truthful, although some societies have put great trust in people while imposing severe penalties for dishonesty. The feminist movement, however, introduced the idea that women, specifically, should be believed without question. The slogan "Believe all women" became prominent, following years of advocacy suggesting that women, as a group, are inherently pure and trustworthy. One especially controversial claim has been that women never lie about rape.

This idea faced backlash when public figures and researchers provided data to the contrary. For instance, Linda Fairstein, a former Manhattan district attorney, estimated that false rape accusations in cases she observed ranged from 40-50%. Feminist circles reacted strongly, as they also did to Charles McDowell’s research, which suggested that approximately half of all rape allegations were false. Why does this narrative provoke such a reaction? The answer may lie in the feminist movement's reliance on relationally aggressive strategies—social tactics that depend on an unquestioned acceptance of women's statements. Casting doubt on the veracity of such claims could undermine the foundation of these strategies.  Without the prevailing assumption that women always tell the truth, feminism would lose much of its power.

Why is it important to question and even dismantle these myths of women's global truthfulness?  Several reasons. First, men are facing serious hardships due to false accusations, which are notoriously difficult to disprove. A quick look at the Innocence Project reveals that the vast majority of cases they overturn and release an innocent man from prison, involve wrongful convictions for rape. There is also a total ignorance and indifference to the severe trauma men go through when falsely accused. For some reason it just doesn't seem to matter. It is also important to hold the false accuser accountable, not only for the sake of the accused but also for the sake of the false accuser.  Allowing someone to live in a lie is quite hurtful. Another reason is that this "believe women" myth serves as a foundational pillar of feminist narratives. Without it, their arguments and reason for being fall apart. Any movement or group that relies on falsehoods for legitimacy needs to be challenged, dismantled, and thrown into the dustbin of history.

Despite various studies showing significant percentages of false accusations, feminist efforts have often focused on vehemently downplaying or dismissing these findings. One example is the study by Eugene Kanin, whose research has faced massive efforts to limit its visibility and acceptance. This article will explore Kanin’s study, its findings, the importance of his work, and the criticisms it received.

 

Evaluating Eugene Kanin’s Study on False Rape Allegations: Findings, Motivations, and Criticisms

Eugene Kanin’s research on false rape allegations, conducted in the early 1990s, stands as one of the most cited and revealing studies in discussions about the complexities of sexual assault accusations. His work, which involved analyzing recanted rape allegations in both a small Midwestern police department and later at two universities, concluded that a surprisingly high percentage of accusations were false. 

Kanin’s study in the police department covered several years and was based on a set of strict guidelines for determining when an accusation could be classified as false. His limiting false allegations to only those women who admitted they had lied was aimed at eliminating any ambiguity about the truth of the accusation. Furthermore, the complainants were informed that admitting to a false allegation could potentially lead to fines and legal consequences, thereby adding an element of deterrence against easy recantations.

In his findings, Kanin reported that 41% of the accusations made to the police department were determined to be false. This meant that the accuser admitted to her false accusation and also explained her reasons for lying.  When he later conducted a similar study on two university campuses, he found an even higher rate of 50%.   I am guessing that Kanin was aware that his findings would be controversial and therefore documented a range of personal motivations of the false accusers. This was brilliant on Kanin's part.  It is simple to disregard numbers but not so easy to ignore actual stories of women falsely accusing. Hearing the actual stories of women lying about rape is a very powerful way of  making it real and makes it much more difficult for the average person to deny. Let's take a look at the three categories of motives for lying and the actual stories Kanin related in his study.


Motivations for False Allegations

Kanin’s study didn’t just focus on the rate of false accusations; he also explored why individuals might be driven to make these claims. By examining the reasons behind each recanted report, he identified three recurring motives, revenge, providing an alibi, and seeking attention. 


 

1. Revenge

​One of the primary motivations Kanin found was revenge.  Twenty-seven percent (n = 12) of the cases clearly seemed to serve this function. In some cases, complainants used false allegations to retaliate against individuals who had hurt them, betrayed them, or otherwise caused them emotional pain. Revenge as a motive is a powerful factor, especially in situations where the accused had a close or personal relationship with the accuser.

These are examples taken directly from the Kanin study, of women with a revenge motive for the false accusation of rape: 

​1. An 18-year-old woman was having sex with a boarder in her mother's house for a period of 3 months. When the mother learned of her behavior from other boarders, the mother ordered the man to leave. The complainant learned that her lover was packing and she went to his room and told him she would be ready to leave with him in an hour. He responded with "who the hell wants you." She briefly argued with him and then proceeded to the police station to report that he had raped her. She admitted the false charge during the polygraph examination.


​2. A 17-year-old female came to headquarters and said that she had been raped by a house parent in the group home in which she lived. A female house parent accompanied her to the station and told the police she did not believe that a rape had occurred. The complainant failed the polygraph examination and then admitted that she liked the house parent, and when he refused her advances, she reported the rape to "get even with him."


​3. A 16-year-old reported she was raped, and her boyfriend was charged. She later admitted that she was "mad at him" because he was seeing another girl, and she "wanted to get him into trouble."


 


2. Providing an Alib​i

Kanin’s research also found cases where individuals filed false allegations to create an alibi for themselves, often to avoid criticism or punishment for consensual actions that might be frowned upon by family, friends, or partners.  Approximately 56%, (n = 27) were in this category. 

​1. An unmarried 16-year-old female had sex with her boyfriend and later became concerned that she might be pregnant. She said she had been raped by an unknown assailant in the hopes that the hospital would give her something to abort the possible pregnancy.


2. A married 30-year-old female reported that she had been raped in her apartment complex. During the polygraph examination, she admitted that she was a willing partner. She reported that she had been raped because her partner did not stop before ejaculation, as he had agreed, and she was afraid she was pregnant. Her husband is overseas.


​3. A divorced female, 25 years of age, whose parents have custody of her 4-year-old child. She lost custody at the time of her divorce when she was declared an unfit mother. She was out with a male friend and got into a fight. He blackened her eye and cut her lip. She claimed she was raped and beaten by him so that she could explain her injuries. She did not want to admit she was in a drunken brawl, as this admission would have jeopardized her upcoming custody hearing. 

4. A 16-year-old complainant, her girlfriend, and two male companions were having a drinking party at her home. She openly invited one of the males, a casual friend, to have sex with her. Later in the evening, two other male acquaintances dropped in and, in the presence of all, her sex partner "bragged" that he had just had sex with her. She quickly ran out to another girlfriend's house and told her she had been raped. Soon, her mother was called and the police were notified. Two days later, when confronted with the contradictory stories of her companions, she admitted that she had not been raped. Her charge of rape was primarily motivated by an urgent desire to defuse what surely would be public information among her friends at school the next day, her promiscuity.

Such examples illustrate how the desire to avoid criticism or punishment can lead to false accusations as a defensive strategy.

 

3. Attention Seeking

The third major category Kanin identified was those seeking sympathy and attention.  Approximately 18% (n = 8) of the false charges clearly served this function. 

​1. An unmarried female, age 17, abruptly left her girlfriends in the park one afternoon allegedly to go riding with a young man, a stranger she met earlier that morning who wanted her to smoke marijuana with him. Later that day, she told her friends she was raped by this man. Her friends reported the incident to the police, and the alleged victim went along with the rape charge because "I didn't want them to know that I lied to them." She explained that she manufactured this story because she wanted the attention.


​2. An unmarried female, age 17, had been having violent quarrels with her mother who was critical of her laziness and style of life. She reported that she was raped so that her mother would "get off my back and give me a little sympathy."


​3. An unmarried female, age 41, was in post divorce counseling, and she wanted more attention and sympathy from her counselor because she "liked him." She fabricated a rape episode, and he took her to the police station and assisted her in making the charge. She could not back out since she would have to admit lying to him. She admitted the false allegation when she was offered to be polygraphed.


What is learned?

Hearing statistics about false allegations is one thing. It's easy for some to argue about them and downplay their importance. But when confronted with real stories of women making false accusations, it’s much harder to dismiss. These stories make clear that false allegations of rape do exist, challenging feminist assumptions about female purity and inherent trustworthiness. To me, they prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that false accusations occur and often go unnoticed.

In Kanin’s study, over 40% of rape allegations were determined to be false—meaning a woman lied, and her lie could have put an innocent man in jail. What kind of mindset does it take to do that? I believe it reflects a highly narcissistic individual, someone who thinks only of themselves, has poor impulse control, low empathy, and a lack of accountability. People like this do exist, and Kanin’s findings remind us that some women are capable of such actions. This reality should dismantle the feminist argument that false rape allegations don’t happen. They do happen, and that should compel us to protect innocent men from such harm. The feminist push to deny the possibility of false allegations has led to reduced safeguards for accused men, making it almost unquestionable to challenge an accuser. This system of unchecked allegations encourages dishonesty and must change.


Criticism

Did this study impact the feminist movement? Not at all. In fact, you may have never even heard of it, likely due to what’s known as the "lace curtain"—an invisible filter that blocks information contradicting feminist objectives. It seems to have worked effectively to keep this study under wraps.

Some criticisms of the study centered on the definitions of false accusations and whether some findings could reflect recantations due to external pressures or fear rather than actual falsification. This criticism seems unfounded to me. Did they even read the Kanin study? The women in his study explained in detail why they lied, and their explanations aligned with their false reports. It all made sense. These weren't ambiguous cases; Kanin’s study captured them clearly. Yes, these women may have felt fear—but that’s unsurprising, as their lies had been exposed.

One predictable feminist critique was that findings like Kanin's could deter actual victims from reporting rape. Sure enough, some argued that his study might reinforce harmful stereotypes and discourage reporting. I think the opposite is true. Kanin's research could instead deter false accusers from making the damaging decision to ruin an innocent man’s life. Some of those so-called “harmful stereotypes” are, in reality, justified concerns with real consequences.

There were also claims that Kanin's study was a statistical outlier and therefore irrelevant. This, of course, is incorrect, as similar findings emerged from studies at the Air Force Academy, which reported false accusation rates comparable to Kanin’s. Many law enforcement professionals have also corroborated these findings, sharing similar estimates based on their field experience. Other studies have shown that false rape allegations do exist, though often at lower rates. But even if the rate is as low as 2%, that should still compel us to protect the innocent from the devastation of a false accusation. Like any other crime, a rape charge must be proven true.

The only valid criticism I found of the Kanin study is that the sample was too small and lacked diversity. While this limits the ability to generalize its findings, it doesn’t diminish the importance of shedding light on the reality of false accusations of rape.


Conclusion

Eugene Kanin’s study serves as a powerful reminder of the complexities surrounding rape allegations and the necessity of addressing false accusations with the seriousness they deserve. His meticulous documentation of motives and real-life cases underscores a truth often downplayed or ignored: false allegations happen, and their consequences can be devastating, particularly for the falsely accused. While the feminist narrative often dismisses or obscures such findings, the evidence from Kanin’s research and similar studies calls for a more balanced approach—one that ensures justice for actual victims while safeguarding the rights of the accused.

Challenging the myth that women always tell the truth about rape is not about silencing victims; it is about ensuring fairness and accountability in a system where both are often lacking. By ignoring the reality of false accusations, society perpetuates a dangerous double standard that harms everyone involved. Men falsely accused face irreparable damage to their reputations, careers, and mental health, while the broader justice system suffers a loss of credibility.

It is essential to engage in honest discussions about these issues, free from ideological bias, to build a justice system rooted in fairness and truth. Acknowledging and addressing the existence of false rape allegations is not only a matter of justice but also a step toward restoring faith in a system too often swayed by cultural narratives rather than evidence.

I wanted to write this article as a prelude to the next installment in this series on gynocentrism, specifically focusing on how feminists have weaponized it to silence men. Much of their advocacy for increased benefits for women has been built on falsehoods, including lies and false accusations—particularly those targeting men. The next post will delve deeper into this issue.

Kanin’s Research https://www.aals.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Bowen-Kanin-False-Rape-Empirical.pdf

 

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  • Suicide Prevention – Men make up the majority of suicide deaths, yet crisis messaging, outreach, and resources often use language and imagery that doesn’t resonate with how men process distress.

  • Mental Health Services – Therapy culture often centers emotional expression in ways that align more naturally with women’s coping styles, leaving men feeling out of place or misunderstood.

  • Divorce Court – Fathers asking for equal custody can find themselves treated as if they are asking for a special privilege rather than a natural right.

  • Homelessness Support – Shelters for men are fewer in number, and services can be harder to access because their need is perceived as a personal failing rather than an unfortunate circumstance.


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The tragedy is that emotional pain is almost impossible to express without appearing dependent. That means men are often forced into a no-win choice: suffer silently, or risk the stigma of asking for help.


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Why do Women Cling to Feminism?

There's a powerful force at play that binds both men and women to the belief that feminism stands for equality. Despite clear evidence to the contrary, public perception remains steadfast. This strong adhesive, I believe, is gynocentrism—an often unnoticed bias that influences both genders to avoid confronting the truth.

But what exactly is gynocentrism? It's the pervasive belief that women's needs, desires, and perspectives should take precedence. This societal tendency elevates women's experiences to a central position in discussions of justice, equality, and societal norms. Remarkably, many are unaware of this bias within themselves; it operates subtly yet significantly in everyday life.

Feminists, whether knowingly or not, have harnessed gynocentrism as a tool to shield their ideology from scrutiny. By framing their movement around the principle that women's well-being and viewpoints must be prioritized—a core tenet of gynocentrism—they've built an ideology that resonates not just with women, but also with men who unwittingly accept this framework.

1. Emotional Investment and Identity

Feminism offers an emotionally charged, identity-affirming cause that, for many women, becomes central to how they define themselves and their place in the world. Gynocentrism amplifies this by creating a cultural framework in which women’s experiences are not just important, but inherently more valid and deserving of attention than men’s. Within this framework, feminist ideology is elevated from a political stance to a moral imperative — a movement that feels inseparable from one’s personal worth and identity.

Because gynocentrism positions women’s struggles as uniquely significant, feminism is perceived not simply as one of many social causes, but as the cause — the rightful focal point of empathy, policy, and moral concern. This emotional elevation makes feminist beliefs harder to question, because doing so feels like a denial of women’s legitimacy or suffering. For women, this gynocentric framing allows personal grievances to be folded into a broader, sanctified struggle, making feminism both empowering and emotionally protective.

Men, too, are drawn into this framework. Socialized to prioritize women’s needs and seek moral approval through deference, many adopt feminist ideals not out of conviction, but out of a sense of duty or fear of moral condemnation. Biology also plays a role, as evolutionary pressures have shaped men to be caretakers and protectors, further reinforcing this inclination. In this way, gynocentrism doesn’t just support feminism—it shields it, fuels it, and emotionally compels loyalty to it, even in the face of contradictory evidence or unfair outcomes.

2. The Power of Groupthink and Social Reinforcement

Feminism thrives on social reinforcement, and groupthink plays a significant role in maintaining this ideological strength. In a gynocentric society, the idea that women’s perspectives should dominate is not only normalized but encouraged, creating an environment where challenging feminist ideals feels uncomfortable or even socially unacceptable. This dynamic is further amplified by women’s strong in-group bias—a well-documented psychological tendency to show loyalty, empathy, and moral deference to other women, often at the expense of fairness to those outside the group. In feminist circles, this in-group loyalty reinforces a collective identity centered on shared grievances and moral superiority, making dissent feel like betrayal. The power of groupthink is sustained by constant affirmation that women’s needs are paramount, and anyone questioning this premise risks social ostracism—or worse, being labeled a misogynist. This creates an atmosphere where individuals—especially men—find it difficult to voice opposition, as doing so is perceived not as a critique of ideas, but as an attack on women themselves and the gynocentric norms that have been so deeply entrenched in society.

3. Fear of Losing Hard-Won Progress

For many women, feminism is not just a political or social movement — they have been led to believe that it’s the framework that secured their rights, safety, and dignity in a historically male-dominated world. This association makes feminism deeply personal and emotionally charged. Gynocentrism reinforces this by framing women’s societal gains not merely as important milestones, but as personal validations of their identity and worth — making feminist progress feel inseparable from female value itself. It casts any challenge to feminist orthodoxy — even a measured critique — as a threat to women’s safety, freedom, or status.

As a result, the push to prioritize women’s rights over men’s is not just about fairness or equality; it becomes a reflexive act of self-preservation. For women who have internalized feminism as synonymous with progress and protection, any perceived rollback is existential. The fear is not just that rights might be lost, but that their societal value might be diminished.

Gynocentrism amplifies this anxiety by maintaining a singular focus on women’s needs, portraying them as the perpetual underdogs, regardless of social context or material advantage. This selective lens obscures male suffering, sidelines men’s rights, and downplays the unintended consequences of a one-sided narrative. In doing so, it creates an emotional and moral environment where any call for balance or shared empathy is viewed with suspicion — or even hostility — because it feels like a threat to hard-won ground.

4. Media and Cultural Narratives

The media and cultural narratives overwhelmingly reflect and reinforce gynocentrism, often framing women as the default victims and men as the default perpetrators. Feminism, which aligns itself with this framework, benefits from the widespread acceptance of these skewed narratives. Media portrayals of gender dynamics rarely include nuanced views on how both men and women can suffer from societal issues. Instead, they lean heavily on the gynocentric view that women’s needs—whether related to equality, protection, or support—should always take precedence. By embedding this perspective into the cultural psyche, feminism gains more followers and becomes harder to challenge.

5. Victimhood and Empowerment


Feminism often draws strength from a narrative of victimhood, positioning women as the oppressed group within a patriarchal system. Gynocentrism powerfully reinforces this narrative by casting women not only as victims, but as noble underdogs—vulnerable, morally righteous, and inherently deserving of society’s protection and focus. In Western culture, the underdog holds a revered place; their struggle evokes sympathy, support, and a moral imperative to act. Feminism thrives within this framing, as it leverages the societal instinct to champion the underdog and victim, to advance its ideological goals.By elevating women's struggles above all others, gynocentrism ensures that women's issues dominate the discourse, while simultaneously portraying any challenge to that focus as callous or regressive. This dynamic plays directly into feminism’s hands, enabling it to cloak itself in moral legitimacy while resisting scrutiny or balance. The victim-centric framing doesn’t just protect feminism—it empowers it, converting women’s suffering into a cultural rallying point that demands continuous attention and policy response.Meanwhile, men’s struggles are minimized or ignored, as their pain does not fit the underdog narrative gynocentrism upholds. As a result, feminism benefits from a cultural lens that shields it from criticism and maintains women’s narratives as central, unquestionable, and morally superior, while men are relegated to the margins of empathy and policy.

Gynocentrism not only elevates women's suffering—it also provides cover for open hostility toward men. In a cultural context where women are presumed morally superior and perpetually victimized, attacks on men are rarely seen for what they are: expressions of contempt, generalization, and at times outright hate. Feminist rhetoric that blames men collectively for societal problems is tolerated—even celebrated—because gynocentrism flips the moral lens. Where fairness would demand reciprocity and empathy for all, gynocentrism excuses misandry as justified outrage. Without this protective framing, the vilification of men that often occurs in feminist discourse would be seen clearly as morally bankrupt and socially destructive.

6. Unconscious Bias and Cognitive Dissonance

Feminism, when viewed through the lens of gynocentrism, creates a powerful cognitive dissonance for those who challenge it. Cognitive dissonance refers to the mental discomfort that arises when a person is confronted with information that conflicts with their deeply held beliefs or values. In this case, gynocentrism shifts the framework to one where women’s needs and experiences are always considered more important than men’s. When people are faced with information that contradicts this bias—such as evidence of men’s suffering—cognitive dissonance kicks in. It becomes difficult to argue otherwise without being labeled as misogynistic or unsympathetic to women’s issues. This bias makes it easy for people to ignore or rationalize evidence that challenges feminist ideas, because doing so would force them to confront the deeply held belief that women’s perspectives should always come first. As a result, cognitive dissonance leads many to dismiss the realities of male suffering—such as the high rates of male suicide or domestic violence against men—without any corresponding societal change, reinforcing the gynocentric framework.

7. The Sense of Solidarity and Collective Purpose

Feminism offers solidarity, a sense of purpose, and a collective identity for many women. The gynocentric framework supports this by positioning women as a collective group with a shared cause that is viewed as morally righteous. Feminism becomes more than just a political movement—it is a personal and communal experience where women rally around the belief that their needs are paramount and have been neglected by men. Gynocentrism ensures that this solidarity remains intact by consistently placing women’s rights and experiences at the center, leaving little room for other perspectives that might dilute or challenge this collective purpose.

8. Social Media and Confirmation Bias

Social media platforms, with their emphasis on viral content and quick engagement, amplify gynocentric narratives by perpetuating the idea that women’s voices and concerns should dominate. These platforms often create echo chambers where feminist ideas are not just accepted but celebrated, reinforcing the idea that women’s needs should always take precedence. Gynocentrism drives this reinforcement, making it difficult for people—especially men—to challenge feminist narratives without facing backlash. The confirmation bias that exists on these platforms further cements the dominance of the feminist narrative, as users are more likely to encounter content that supports the gynocentric view of gender dynamics.


Conclusion

Gynocentrism is not a side effect of feminist ideology — it is its lifeblood. It provides the cultural scaffolding that shields feminism from scrutiny, fortifies its moral authority, and ensures its dominance in public discourse. By placing women’s needs, perspectives, and grievances at the emotional and ethical center of society, gynocentrism makes feminism feel not like an ideology, but like common sense — even when its claims defy evidence or fairness.

This framing is so deeply embedded in our institutions, our media, and our social instincts that most people — including many well-meaning women and men — defend feminism reflexively, without realizing they’re defending a worldview that demands moral deference to one sex while marginalizing the other. The emotional, social, and psychological incentives to protect feminism are all reinforced by the gynocentric lens through which we view gender.

It also enables something more corrosive: the normalization of male-blame. Gynocentrism allows feminists to attack men collectively—assigning them guilt, privilege, or violence by default—without triggering the moral backlash such generalizations would provoke if directed at women. In this way, gynocentrism not only shields feminism from criticism; it also empowers it to wound others without accountability.

Until we recognize this hidden framework, genuine conversations about equality will remain impossible. So long as gynocentrism goes unexamined, feminism will continue to operate with cultural impunity, upheld by a society that mistakes favoritism for fairness and silence for justice.

The first step to restoring balance is to see the bias — and name it. Gynocentrism must be brought out of the shadows if we are ever to build a society where the needs of both men and women are heard, honored, and held to the same moral standard.

Men Are Good.

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July 30, 2025
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Why Is Masculine Maturity So Hard to Talk About Today?


Why Is Masculine Maturity So Hard to Talk About Today?

In the early 1990s, you could walk into a bookstore and find entire tables devoted to the male journey. Robert Bly’s Iron John was a bestseller. Sam Keen, James Hillman, Michael Meade,​ Robert Moore, Richard Rohr — all were offering soulful, intelligent takes on what it meant to be a man. It wasn’t about domination. It wasn’t about “reclaiming power.” It was about emotional honesty, growth, and purpose. In other words: maturity.

Fast forward to today, and you’ll find… almost nothing. Talk about masculinity now and the conversation quickly turns to toxicity, privilege, or fragile male egos. Where once there was myth, poetry, and psychology, we now get slogans and shame.

Why did this happen? Why is masculine maturity such a neglected subject?

Here are a few answers — and a couple of stories that may help explain why the silence around men runs so deep.


1. The Cultural Suspicion Toward Masculinity

Over the last fifty years, masculinity has been treated less as a stage of growth and more as a problem to be managed. Many institutions — academic, psychological, media-driven — have become allergic to the idea that men might have unique struggles, let alone a need for support. Masculinity is often reduced to a stereotype: aggressive, emotionally stunted, dangerous. So it’s not surprising that serious explorations of mature masculinity are viewed with skepticism — or simply ignored.

I experienced this firsthand when I joined the American Psychological Association’s Division 51, the group supposedly devoted to studying men and masculinities. Initially, I was welcomed. A few of the men there had read Swallowed by a Snake, my first book, and treated me with respect.

But over time, it became clear this wasn’t a group focused on men. It was a feminist-aligned group focused on monitoring men. That would have been fine if it had also been balanced — but it wasn’t.

One moment still sticks with me. I asked the group — these were top psychologists, many regularly quoted in national media — if they had ever heard of Robert Moore, the Jungian analyst who literally co-wrote King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, one of the most influential models of the mature masculine ever created.

Not one of them had heard of him.

These were the gatekeepers of psychological discourse around men, and they had never encountered one of the most insightful thinkers on the subject. That’s when I realized: this wasn’t a field seeking to understand men — it was a field managing a narrative about men.

They later kicked me out of the group.


2. The Disappearance of Mentorship and Male Space

The maturation of men has always required something very simple but essential: older men guiding younger men. That doesn’t mean domination or militaristic hierarchy — it means real mentorship. Time together. Shared wisdom. A hand on the shoulder.

But today, male-only spaces are either disappearing or treated with suspicion. Most institutions that once created these bonds — churches, trades, father-son traditions — are either crumbling or feminized. Men don’t know where to go, and the culture doesn’t really care that they’re drifting.


3. The Mythopoetic Movement Was Shamed Out of Existence

In the 1990s, the Mythopoetic Men’s Movement made a serious attempt to give men a space to grow, reflect, and feel. Men gathered, sometimes in the woods. They drummed. They told stories. They cried. They got honest.

They did exactly what the culture — and women — had been begging men to do for decades: engage emotionally, get their priorities straight, and connect with other men in a non-competitive, supportive environment.

So what happened?

The media mocked them. Relentlessly. Headlines rolled out: “Men Go Into Woods to Beat Drums and Take Off Their Clothes.” Late-night shows made jokes. These men weren’t harming anyone. They were healing. But that seemed to frighten people — especially the idea that men were coming together in a community that wasn’t controlled or mediated by women.

Instead of being praised, they were ridiculed and dismissed. The movement, shamed out of existence, faded.


4. No Urgency for Male Development

When girls or women face emotional hardship, society responds — with programs, policies, and public empathy. But when boys or men face disconnection, despair, or aimlessness, the response is often: “Toughen up.” Or worse: silence.

There’s a deep-rooted empathy gap when it comes to men. The assumption seems to be that men don’t need emotional depth, spiritual development, or mentorship. They just need to behave. This assumption is not only wrong — it’s dangerous. Because without maturity, all you get is drift, anger, or collapse.


5. Fear of Being Labeled

Today, if you talk too much about men’s needs, you risk being labeled “anti-feminist” or “reactionary.” Even well-meaning men tiptoe around the topic for fear of being misunderstood. As a result, the public conversation is cautious, shallow, or entirely missing.

And yet, quietly, the hunger remains.

Men are looking for guidance — not from social media influencers or political ideologues, but from grounded voices who actually understand what male development looks like from the inside.


So Where Does This Leave Us?

We’re in a strange place. The world criticizes men constantly, but offers no real path to growth. It tells men to “do better,” but doesn’t explain how — or even what “better” means, other than being more like women.

Masculine maturity isn't about dominance, nor is it about submission. It's about becoming whole — integrating strength with compassion, solitude with connection, responsibility with joy.

That journey still matters. In fact, it may matter now more than ever.

And those of us who have walked part of that road — and seen its value — need to keep the conversation alive.

Even when it's inconvenient.

Even when it's mocked.

Even when it's lonely.

Because the silence around men has never been a sign of health. It’s a sign that something sacred has been neglected.

And it’s time we returned to it.

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