Straus Exposes the Academic Veils Placed on Domestic Violence Research ( 2 – Bias Against Men and Boys in Psychological Research)

Institutional Sexism: The Bias We’re Not Allowed to See

For half a century, the term institutional sexism has been used as a club — a way to shame or reform male-dominated systems accused of disadvantaging women. Universities built entire departments around it. Governments shaped funding priorities by it. The media repeated it like a moral mantra: if women lag anywhere, it must be because the system is rigged against them.

But what if we’ve been looking in the wrong direction?

The deeper irony is that institutional sexism is real — just not the way we’ve been taught to see it. Across education, mental health, family courts, criminal justice, and even public health, there are consistent, measurable biases that disadvantage men and boys. Yet these are ignored or rationalized away under a powerful cultural assumption: that sexism only flows one way.

It’s a peculiar blindness, one that reveals how moral reflexes — not data — often shape our perception of fairness. The same academics and policymakers who tell us to “follow the evidence” become strangely incurious when the evidence points toward male disadvantage. The result is a quiet but pervasive structural bias, woven through the institutions that claim to serve us all.

We can see it most clearly in the places where boys and men come into early contact with those institutions: schools, courts, and the helping professions.

1. The Invention of “Institutional Sexism”

The phrase institutional sexism was born out of the same sociological moment that gave us institutional racism. In the late 1960s, civil rights thinkers like Stokely Carmichael and Charles V. Hamilton argued that prejudice wasn’t just about individual bigots — it was about systems that favored one group over another, often invisibly.

Feminist theorists quickly applied that framework to gender. Books like The Female Eunuch and The Second Sex were reinterpreted through the new structural lens: patriarchy, male privilege, and institutional sexism were said to keep women in subordinate roles regardless of men’s intentions.

In principle, this was a useful insight. Systems do create patterns that individuals may not see. But in practice, the analysis hardened into dogma. “Institutional sexism” became a one-way accusation — never a tool for understanding the whole picture.

No one asked whether those same systems might, in some areas, evolve to favor women. After all, institutions don’t have consciences; they reflect the moral winds of their time. As society began to view women as a protected class and men as a potential threat, those winds shifted. Institutions followed — first in tone, then in policy.

Today, half a century later, nearly every major Western institution — from education to healthcare to media — operates under an implicit assumption of female moral priority. And yet we still use the same 1970s vocabulary, as if men were the default oppressors.

If the sociologists of that era were alive today, they might recognize what has happened: the frame they built to expose bias has itself become biased.

2. Education: The First System to Tilt

If we want to see institutional sexism in action, we need look no further than our schools.

Over the past four decades, classrooms have quietly become ground zero for male disadvantage. The gender gap that once concerned feminists has flipped — and then some. Boys now lag behind girls in virtually every measure of educational success: reading proficiency, GPA, graduation rates, and college enrollment. Yet almost no one calls this an emergency.

The data are unambiguous. By fourth grade, boys are already behind in reading and writing. By high school, they make up two-thirds of the students at the bottom of the class. In college, women earn roughly 60% of degrees, a gap wider than the one that once favored men in the 1970s.

But what’s driving this? The answer lies partly in who’s teaching. Roughly three out of four teachers in primary and secondary education are women. Research by economists like Camille Terrier and David Card has found that female teachers are more likely than male teachers to grade boys lower than their standardized test scores predict — a clear sign of unconscious bias. The same studies show that this bias is strongest in language arts, where subjective grading plays a larger role.

A boy who scores well on a standardized exam might receive a lower classroom grade simply because his behavior or communication style doesn’t align with a teacher’s expectations — expectations shaped by feminine norms of cooperation, compliance, and verbal expression.

Add to this the way schools have restructured around emotional safety and verbal processing — sitting still, group sharing, and “feelings-based” pedagogy — and the institutional disadvantage deepens. We’ve built an educational environment that rewards traits more common in girls, then pathologizes boyish energy as “disorderly” or “defiant.”

A few years ago, psychologist Michael Thompson remarked that schools have become places where “boys’ physicality is seen as a problem to be managed.” He’s right. In many classrooms, a boy’s natural movement, competitiveness, or risk-taking is treated not as developmental difference but as moral failing.

And so the system disciplines rather than accommodates him. Boys are far more likely to be suspended, expelled, or diagnosed with behavioral disorders — outcomes that compound over time. Yet the institutional response is always the same: create more programs to “help girls.”

That’s not compassion. That’s ideology.

When researchers and journalists discuss these trends, they rarely use the language of institutional sexism. They speak instead of “engagement gaps” or “learning style differences.” The vocabulary of bias suddenly disappears the moment it might implicate institutions as anti-male.

But the logic is exactly the same as the one used to define systemic discrimination against women: when a group’s consistent disadvantage stems from the structure and norms of an institution, that’s systemic bias — whether it favors women or men.

By every honest standard, our education system fits that definition.

Men Are Good

Educators, journalists, and researchers say boys are becoming more aggressive. But when you look for the trend data, the evidence quietly disappears.

When “Concern” Replaces Evidence: A Look at Claims About Rising Aggressive Masculinity

Recently I read an article titled “Reading how to be male: Boys’ literature reflects the rise of aggressive masculinity.” The title alone makes a strong empirical claim: that aggressive masculinity is rising. Not perceived as rising. Not debated. Rising.

That’s a measurable claim. Which means it should be supported by measurable data.

Because I take these questions seriously — especially when they concern boys — I wrote to the author, who happened to be a Gender Studies professor, and asked a straightforward question:

What is the empirical evidence that masculine aggressiveness is increasing?

He kindly replied and sent two links — one a media report about educator concerns, and the other an article about a qualitative research project describing how some teachers perceive changes in boys’ attitudes and behavior.

But neither source provided what the title of the article clearly implies:
trend data showing that male aggressiveness is increasing over time.

In fact, the qualitative study he referenced was one my colleagues Janice Fiamengo, Hannah Spier, and I had previously examined in detail in a video discussion. We found it relied largely on interviews, interpretations, and ideological framing rather than measurable behavioral trends. The other link was simply journalism — anecdotes, opinions, and stories about educator worries.

Neither constitutes longitudinal evidence of an actual increase.

Concern Is Not Trend Data

We are living in an era of heightened cultural anxiety about boys and men. Teachers report concern. Journalists report concern. Researchers report concern. Administrators report concern.

But concern is not the same as longitudinal behavioral evidence.

If we are going to say aggression is rising, we should expect to see:

• multi-year behavioral datasets

• crime trend comparisons

• school violence trend data

• disciplinary pattern shifts

• cross-regional replication

Instead, what we often see are:

• perception reports

• educator interviews

• interpretive frameworks

• ideological lenses applied to selected cases

Those can be useful — but they are not trend measurement.

When perception is presented as trajectory, readers are misled.

The Framing Problem

Notice how the framing works in pieces like this:

Step 1 — Start with a cultural fear
Step 2 — Gather qualitative impressions consistent with that fear
Step 3 — Interpret those impressions through a gender-ideological lens
Step 4 — Present the conclusion as a social pattern

No explicit falsification test appears anywhere in the process.

It’s not that the researchers are fabricating observations. It’s that the interpretive frame is doing most of the work.

When boys are already positioned culturally as a risk category, almost any troubling behavior becomes evidence of a broader male pattern — while contradictory evidence gets treated as an exception.

That’s not science. That’s narrative selection.

What Would Real Evidence Look Like?

If aggressive masculinity were truly rising, we would expect at least some of the following indicators to be trending upward:

• male youth violent crime rates

• school assault rates by sex

• disciplinary removals for violent behavior

• male-perpetrated injury incidents

• cross-decade behavioral comparisons

But in many regions, long-term violent crime trends among youth have actually declined from historical peaks — not risen.

So if the claim is increase, the burden of proof belongs with the claimant.

Not with the skeptic.

Why This Matters for Boys

When cultural institutions repeatedly publish claims that boys are becoming more dangerous, more misogynistic, more aggressive — without strong trend evidence — boys absorb that message.

Teachers absorb it.
Parents absorb it.
Clinicians absorb it.
Policy absorbs it.

And boys are treated accordingly.

Suspicion becomes the baseline.
Interpretation becomes gendered.
Normal roughness becomes pathology.
Developmental conflict becomes ideology.

I have worked with boys and men for decades. They are not becoming monsters. They are becoming confused — and often very discouraged — under a steady stream of moral suspicion.

That distinction is critical.

My Exchange With the Author

To his credit, the author responded politely to my inquiry and shared his sources. I wrote back and clarified that my question was specifically about measured increase over time, since the article’s title clearly implies that trajectory.

I never heard back after that follow-up.

That silence doesn’t prove bad faith — but it does highlight something important:
The evidentiary foundation under these claims is often thinner than the confidence of the headlines.

A Better Standard

If we care about boys — truly care — we should insist on a higher evidentiary standard before declaring them socially dangerous.

We should:

• separate perception from measurement

• separate ideology from data

• separate anxiety from trend

• separate narrative from proof

And most importantly:

Assess harm by power and leverage, not gender.

Because when gender becomes the shortcut explanation, truth is usually the casualty.

And this is exactly where conversations like this often go wrong. Part of the disconnect may simply be methodological. The author comes from Gender Studies, a discipline that leans heavily on narrative interpretation, interviews, and thematic impressions rather than longitudinal behavioral measurement. Those tools can tell us how people feel about boys. They cannot tell us whether boys are actually becoming more aggressive over time. That requires hard trend data.

When interpretive methods are presented as empirical proof, perception quietly substitutes for evidence and ideology slips in wearing the costume of science. We’ve seen this pattern before — in inflated domestic violence narratives and other feminist boondoggles where worst-case anecdotes are treated as trends and fear is treated as fact. At that point, we’re no longer measuring reality; we’re constructing a story.

And once that story takes hold, boys aren’t studied — they’re blamed, regulated, and pathologized to solve a crisis the numbers never actually showed.

Men Are Good.

What Equal Accountability Would Look Like in Practice

If accountability were truly equalized, several familiar institutions would begin to look—and behave—very differently.

Therapy Would Stop Pathologizing Male Restraint

Today, many men enter therapy already on the defensive.

A man who pauses before speaking, who thinks before he feels, who regulates himself under stress is often labeled avoidant, emotionally unavailable, or disconnected. His restraint is treated as pathology rather than capacity.

Meanwhile, emotional flooding, volatility, or verbal escalation—more often expressed by women—are framed as authenticity, trauma responses, or justified expressions of pain.

Equal accountability would mean: Therapy would stop trying to turn men into more emotionally verbal women—and start helping couples understand different but equally valid regulation styles.

Schools Would Begin to Recognize Female Aggression and Social Cruelty

In schools, aggression is still defined almost entirely in male terms.

Boys who shove, yell, or act out are disciplined.
Girls who exclude, humiliate, gossip, provoke, manipulate friendships, or orchestrate social punishment are often ignored—or worse, excused as “drama.”

Teachers routinely intervene in boys’ conflicts while dismissing girls’ relational aggression as normal social behavior.

Equal accountability would mean:

• Recognizing ostracism, rumor-spreading, and reputational harm as real aggression

• Intervening when girls weaponize friendships or authority

• Teaching that cruelty doesn’t require physical force to be damaging

• Holding girls to the same behavioral standards of fairness and restraint

This wouldn’t punish girls.
It would protect children—especially quieter boys who are often invisible victims.

Workplace Policies Would Acknowledge Relational Aggression

Most workplace harassment policies are built around overt misconduct: yelling, threats, sexual advances.

What they rarely address is relational aggression:

• Undermining colleagues through insinuation

• Using complaints as leverage

• Social exclusion and coalition-building

• Reputational sabotage framed as “concerns”

Men are often blindsided by HR actions because they don’t recognize these tactics as aggression until it’s too late.

Equal accountability would mean:

• Scrutinizing patterns of complaint-making, not just the accused

• Distinguishing harm from discomfort

• Requiring evidence rather than emotional assertion

• Acknowledging that social power can be weaponized quietly

A fair workplace doesn’t protect feelings at the expense of truth.
It protects process.

Media Narratives Would Stop Moral Typecasting

Our media runs on a familiar script:

Men are agents.
Women are victims.

When men do harm, it’s framed as character.
When women do harm, it’s framed as context, trauma, or reaction.

Female wrongdoing is softened.
Male wrongdoing is essentialized.

Equal accountability would mean:

• Reporting women’s abuse, coercion, and manipulation without euphemism

• Allowing men to be complex without default suspicion

• Ending the reflexive framing of women as morally passive

• Assess harm by power and leverage, not gender.

Only then could we speak honestly about female power—social, emotional, institutional—without pretending it doesn’t exist.

Why This Matters

A culture that refuses to hold women accountable does not elevate women.

It keeps them morally frozen—protected, but not respected.

And it leaves men carrying responsibility without authority, regulation without recognition, and restraint without credit.

Equal accountability wouldn’t erase difference.

It would finally allow truth to replace myth—and adulthood to replace ideology.

Where the Accountability Gap Becomes Impossible to Ignore

The absence of equal accountability isn’t just theoretical. It shows up most starkly in the places where power, fear, and consequences converge—domestic violence systems, family courts, and criminal sentencing.

These are not edge cases.
They are the places where unequal accountability changes lives.

Domestic Violence: When Relational Aggression Is Erased

Domestic violence is often framed as a simple morality play: violent men, endangered women.

But anyone who has worked clinically with couples—or listened carefully to men—knows the reality is more complex.

Relational aggression frequently plays a role in violent episodes:

• Chronic shaming

• Threats of abandonment or child loss

• Provocation followed by moral reversal

• Escalation without physical contact until a breaking point is reached

None of this excuses violence.
But ignoring it prevents understanding.

Yet domestic violence services are almost entirely gynocentric—built on the assumption that women are victims and men are perpetrators. Services for men are rare, underfunded, or nonexistent. Male pain is treated as either irrelevant or dangerous to acknowledge.

Equal accountability would mean:

• Acknowledging relational aggression as part of the violence ecosystem

• Offering services for male victims—not as an afterthought, but as a necessity

• Providing off-ramps before desperation turns into catastrophe

• Replacing ideology with reality

A system that cannot see male suffering cannot prevent violence.
It can only react after it’s too late.

Family Courts: Presumed Guilt, Invisible Loss

Family courts operate on one of the most damaging accountability asymmetries in modern life.

Men are routinely presumed responsible—even when they have done nothing wrong.

Fathers are:

• Separated from their children without evidence of harm

• Treated as risks rather than resources

• Required to prove innocence rather than have wrongdoing proven

• Held accountable for outcomes they do not control

Women, by contrast, are rarely held accountable for:

• Gatekeeping

• False or exaggerated allegations

• Alienation behaviors

• Using the system itself as leverage

Equal accountability would mean:

• Evidence-based decisions rather than gendered assumptions

• Consequences for false allegations

• Recognition of children’s need for fathers as a developmental necessity

• Treating parenting as a shared responsibility, not a maternal entitlement

When courts fail to hold women accountable, children lose fathers—not because those men are dangerous, but because the system cannot imagine female misuse of power.

Criminal Courts: The Sentencing Gap No One Wants to Discuss

In criminal courts, the accountability gap becomes numerical—and undeniable.

Women receive significantly lighter sentences than men for the same crimes. Judges routinely cite:

• Caretaking roles

• Emotional distress

• Perceived vulnerability

• Likelihood of rehabilitation

Men committing identical offenses are treated as more dangerous, more culpable, and more disposable.

Equal accountability would require:

• Sentencing based on behavior, not gender

• Acknowledging that harm caused matters more than who caused it

• Ending the practice of moral leniency rooted in infantilization

Holding women accountable in criminal courts wouldn’t be anti-woman.
It would be pro-justice.

The Throughline

In each of these systems, the same pattern appears:

• Male power is exaggerated

• Female power is denied

• Male suffering is moralized

• Female suffering is absolutized

This isn’t compassion.
It’s gynocentrism masquerading as justice.

A culture that cannot hold women accountable must distort reality to survive.
And those distortions accumulate—until families break, violence escalates, and trust erodes.

Equal accountability wouldn’t solve every problem.

But it would finally allow us to see clearly—and act like adults in the places where it matters most.

Men Are Good.