MenAreGood
MenAreGood is a channel for men, boys, fathers, new fathers, grandfathers and women who want to learn about men and masculinity.  Are you tired of the false narrative of toxic masculinity?  Did you know there is a huge amount of research that shows the positive aspects of men, boys and fathers?  That is what we focus on here, being a source of good information and also a place to connect.   Join us!
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?
November 03, 2023
Nature and Nurture

This is the work of Moiret Allegiere, one of my favorite writers on men’s issues. His insights and depth of understanding about the issues men face have great depth. He recently became a father and this is a short article on his fatherhood. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. His bio below will include ways to find more of his work.


Nature and Nurture

I have absolutely no idea where all that time went. Our son, whom I am willing to swear on all that I hold holy was born only yesterday, will turn three in February of 2024. This is weird. One of those great lessons to be learned from parenthood, I assume: time is precious, and it flies by so quickly that – if the Gods are willing – we’ll be grandparents before we know it. A concept equally terrifying and exhilarating.

There is a lot of work to be done when trying to get a farm that has been derelict for decades up and running again. Grass needs to be cut, trees must be taken down, the house needs upgrades, the barn needs cleaning, and so forth and so on. Fields have become overgrown that should have been tended to ages ago. The forest is reclaiming fields where sheep and goats once walked. All must be tended to and cleaned, and old farm-equipment and older farm-buildings must be repaired. It seems to me to be a situation that never strays far from complete and utter chaos, barely kept under control by the savage hands of a soon-to-be middle-aged white guy, who’s fondness for the axe is only overshadowed by his fondness for the chainsaw. And amidst all this, we willingly brought an agent of chaos into the mix. For that is precisely what a toddler is. And what he is supposed to be. It is for us, his parents, to teach him to find order and thus become ordered. Albeit without ever entirely loosing grip of that chaos. For chaos controlled breeds creativity, breeds needed change, breeds an elegant desire to reach beyond the borders of the ordered to explore the world as of yet uncharted by our son; his eyes, his mind, his body and his soul. There can never be a life wholly fulfilled without order and chaos working together to create wonder and to create clearly defined and much needed borders.

Where we live, we are lucky to be surrounded by nature. We have tall mountains, dark forests, fjords and shorelines. We have tall trees, dark soil, rocks and plants. All things to be explored and to be conquered and then used by our son – our very own bundle of chaos – to understand the world and his place within this world.

When the weather and my energy-levels allow, which apparently is most days, whether or not my energy-levels or the weather allows it, our son and I go for a walk outside. I have long since given up any notions of being the boss of our household. That duty falls solely on our pint-sized tyrant, whose energy seems to peak just around that time of day when my own energy dwindles. This, of course, is exactly as it should be. He is a young boy, and his kinetic energy must be spent and it must be celebrated, just as much as his natural curiosity must be explored, expanded and rewarded.

Some weeks ago, I took him down to the boathouse. The idea was to throw rocks into the fjord. Because throwing things are remarkably fun. Better he throws rocks about outside than to throw his toys about inside. I assume most will agree. However, as fortune and the weather would have it, there was a very high tide when we went down to the boathouse. All the rocks, I told him, had been eaten by the water. But, fret not my son: look at the waves coming in, isn’t that exciting?

There was a strong wind that day. There often is. And so we stood there, besides our run-down boathouse, just watching the waves coming in, crashing and receding. We did the same thing a little over a year ago, but he was way more consciously curious about everything now. There they came: tall waves, strong waves. Crashing and receding. And our son filled with awe at this wonder. So we stood there for three quarters of an hour, watching the waves, giggling with joy and excitement when the waves crashed just hard enough to splash us.

“I got wet!”, he proclaimed.

“More?”, he continued.

“You’ll just have to wait and see if another big wave comes.”, I said, holding his small hand in one hand, gently resting my other hand on his tiny shoulder.

“Big wave!”, he said.

Sure enough, another big wave came. And the giggling. And the process repeated, with slight variations, for the aforementioned forty-five minutes.

We tend to get used to these small wonders when we experience them enough. When one has become a mature adult, there is an unfortunate tendency to no longer see all this wonder that lies about oneself. The world is full of things that are, essentially, exciting and incredible. Deliriously so, if one opens ones mind to it and manage to experience it from the level of a child. The wonder a child shows about everything in the world is, undoubtedly, an essential part of childhood. One would be insane to propose otherwise. When everything is new, is experienced for the first time… or the first couple of times, it can not possibly be anything but wonderful. Marvellous. Miraculous, even. And this experience of the natural world, separated from the marvels of modern engineering… removed from the everyday miracles that make up the machinery of modern society… this experience of nature is one of the greatest gifts I could give my son. And his enthusiasm, his childish wonder and amusement at all these small things which I find I once took for granted, touches me and makes me once again see things from the level of a child, makes me appreciate the wonders that surround us more than I have done in years upon years. And here I thought I was the one supposed to teach him things, not the other way around. It just goes to show, I suppose.

No wonder then that the day after the experience with the waves, he wanted to return to the boathouse and the fjord and to “See big waves!”, as he so eloquently put it.

“Of course we can go down to the fjord again,” I told him, “but I’m afraid there won’t be that many big waves today.”.

“See big waves!” he repeated.

Fair enough, I thought. Guess this’ll be a lesson for later.

So we went back down to the boathouse. And our son was disappointed. Absolutely crestfallen, in fact, when he saw that there were no waves to splash him, no big waves to marvel at, no strong winds. Nothing but small waves.

“Dad make the big waves come!”, he said.

“No, dad can’t make the big waves come. The big waves do what they want to do.”

“Dad make the big waves come!”, he repeated, demanding. Getting upset now, preparing a tantrum. Oh man, oh shit, oh no! For this, I admit, I was ill equipped. Your father, young one, is neither God nor a force of nature (except when it comes to chopping wood). But how does one explain this to someone who is of the opinion that parents are the ones to fix everything?

That’s when it hit me – what small waves there were was gently lapping at the rocks.

Oh, man, the rocks!

He had forgotten about the rocks, it appeared.

“Look at what the waves left us yesterday.”, I told him.

“Waves haven’t eaten the rocks!”, he proclaimed, eyes bright with that wonderful light that only the eyes of children have, face glowing with that beautiful smile of his.

And so we spent an hour or so throwing rocks into the water. He of course making sure to splash me. Me, of course, not being allowed to splash him. This is, after all, the natural order of things. Not to worry though – I am able to read him, and so I splashed him a couple of times. He giggled, of course. Much like he does when I tickle him. “Don’t tickle me!”, he’ll say. And then I’ll stop and he’ll ask me to continue. I’m sure he learns something from that, though I have no idea what.

He’ll ask to go outside everyday, despite having been to kindergarten and spent hours outside already, playing with other kids. The kindergarten he attends have a very strict policy, you see – they are of the belief that free play is the greatest tool children have for learning, and so that’s mainly what they do. Which is absolutely fantastic. And I try to accommodate these wishes of his to the best of my abilities. For it is doubtlessly important for our son to spend time in nature, marvelling at it. And it is important for him to have quality-time with his dad just as much as it is important for his dad to have quality-time with him. And what better way to get that than by exploring nature?

With luck on our side, he’ll grow up with a deep appreciation for nature, and an even greater respect and admiration for it. With even more luck, he’ll learn to nurture and to cling to that natural curiosity and that natural wonder so that it does not fade away, so that it does not get replaced with a world-weary cynicism. I want him to view the world and all that surrounds us with wonder, amazement, appreciation and respect. This might be the greatest gift I can give him. Which is funny, in all honesty. For his greatest gift to me is the exact same thing.


Moiret Allegiere

Moiret Allegiere (Born 1986) hails from Norway. A self-described scribbler of lines, juggler of words and weird pseudo-hermit, he became so concerned with the state of the world that he left his long and deliberate hibernation to wreak bloody havoc on the world of fine art and literature.

moiretallegiere.wordpress.com/

post photo preview
Interested? Want to learn more about the community?
What else you may like…
Videos
Posts
Articles
March 15, 2026
Reacting to New Feminist Trends

This was a lively and fascinating conversation.

Hannah Spier invited Janice Fiamengo, Jim Nuzzo, and me to look at a series of newer feminist and social-media trends—terms like heterofatalism, weaponized incompetence, girl rotting, decentering men, and more. What emerged was a revealing picture of how often these ideas are built around victimhood, withdrawal, and a growing suspicion of men, love, and ordinary human interdependence.

What struck me most is that many of these trends are presented as empowerment, but they often look more like discouragement, narcissism, and a retreat from hope—especially hope in healthy relationships between men and women. We also explored the way feminism keeps repackaging old resentments in new language, and how social media now accelerates that process in ways that are both fascinating and disturbing.

I think you’ll find this discussion thoughtful, provocative, and at times very funny. Hannah is a terrific host, and Janice and Jim bring their ...

00:54:34
March 05, 2026
How Women Gaslight and Manipulate Men

Most boys are taught how to treat a girl. Almost nobody teaches them how they should be treated.

In this conversation, I’m joined by Tammy Sullivan (the “Manicured Mom”), author of How Women Gaslight and Manipulate Men. Tammy stumbled onto a massive TikTok trend openly teaching manipulation—and decided to “flip the script” and expose the tactics so men could recognize them, name them, and set boundaries.

We dig into the subtle, day-by-day moves that can erode a man’s confidence and isolate him from his friends, his hobbies, and even his family—things like the “real man” trap, backhanded compliments, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” using sex as leverage, and the weaponized “we need to talk.”

This isn’t about condemning women. It’s about giving men language, clarity, and self-respect—and helping healthy couples stop these patterns before they become a way of life. Men are good… and you deserve to be treated well, too.

Tammy’s book How Women Gaslight ...

01:01:55
February 26, 2026
Gynocentrism is Like Gravity

I’ve started experimenting with short music videos on men’s issues—this one focuses on gynocentrism.

I’m exploring whether concise, straightforward videos like this might reach and engage more people. I’d welcome your feedback and any suggestions.

00:02:41

This is on point and even this will be seen as anti woman

March 02, 2026
Men Don't Grieve the Way You Think

I had the good fortune to be interviewed by Jason MacKenzie, who runs the Man Down Substack—a publication dedicated to men and their unique paths to healing.

Many of you may not know that I spent many years working directly with men who were grappling with trauma and loss. Through that experience, it became strikingly clear to me that men and women are often treated very differently after a loss. Those early observations opened my eyes to the broader ways men face discrimination, misunderstanding, and hardship in our society. I hope you find the conversation interesting and worthwhile.

https://www.mandown.tools/p/men-dont-grieve-the-way-you-think?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

February 27, 2026
Are Some Women Waking Up?

This was sent to me by an alert viewer and shows a woman calling out the feminist lies about men being privileged. What do you think:

March 13, 2026
post photo preview
Seeing Theroux the Manosphere
The Reviews Missed the Most Important Question



Seeing Theroux the Manosphere

The Reviews Missed the Most Important Question

Louis Theroux’s Inside the Manosphere is drawing the kind of reviews one might expect. Some say he did not focus enough on the harm done to women and girls. Others say he was out of his depth and ended up giving attention-seeking influencers exactly the publicity they crave. Still others praise the film as a revealing look at “toxic masculinity” online. But as I read the reviews, I was struck by something more important than their differences. They all seemed blind to the same possibility.

Take The Guardian. Its complaint was not that the category “manosphere” might be vague, ideological, or rhetorically manipulative. No, its complaint was that Theroux did not spend enough time showing the impact of these men’s ideas on women. In other words, the basic frame was accepted from the beginning: the manosphere is a danger to women, and the only real question is whether the documentary pressed that point hard enough.

The Independent came at it from another angle. It called the documentary “an infuriating failure” and argued that Theroux’s old-style documentary method is no match for internet-age performers driven by money, clout, and shameless self-promotion. Fair enough. But notice what is still missing. The review does not step back and ask whether the word manosphere itself has become a smear category—an elastic term that can be stretched to include not only grifters and woman-haters, but also men who simply question feminism, challenge anti-male orthodoxies, or speak openly about the struggles of boys and men.

Then there is the more favorable coverage. Decider recommended the film and described it as a revealing look at how toxic masculinity spreads online. That is now the standard language. The issue is assumed, the verdict is built in, and the label does most of the work before the discussion even begins. Once the term manosphere is accepted uncritically, everything inside it is already morally suspect.

What I found most striking is that Theroux himself seemed more aware of the problem than many of his reviewers. In an interview with The Guardian, he acknowledged that the term manosphere is “inexact” and somewhat in the eye of the beholder. That is an important admission. It suggests some awareness that the label can become a catch-all—one that may sweep together genuine extremists, foolish provocateurs, traditionalists, and ordinary male dissenters under a single cloud of suspicion. But that thread was barely followed by the reviewers. They seemed far more interested in whether Theroux had been sufficiently condemnatory.

And that, to me, is the real story.

The reviews were not really debating whether the category itself is being used ideologically. They were debating whether Theroux handled the category effectively. That is a very different question. Almost none of them seemed willing to consider that “the manosphere” may now function as a protective shield for feminism itself—a way to discredit, marginalize, or pathologize male voices that raise inconvenient questions. Once a man can be placed somewhere inside that dark and blurry category, his arguments no longer have to be answered. He can simply be associated with misogyny, extremism, resentment, or grievance.

That is why this matters.

Of course there are ugly voices online. Of course there are men saying foolish, cruel, and sometimes dangerous things. But there is a world of difference between identifying genuine bad actors and using a sprawling moral category to batter males who are questioning feminism or refusing to repeat approved cultural slogans. The reviews I saw did not seem especially interested in that difference. And when smart reviewers all miss the same thing, it is often because that blind spot is doing important cultural work.

In the end, the critics mostly asked two questions: Did Theroux go hard enough? Or did he give these men too much airtime? Very few seemed to ask the deeper one: Has “the manosphere” become one more ideological weapon used to protect feminism from scrutiny? That omission tells us quite a lot—not only about the documentary, but about the cultural climate in which it is being received.

Men Are Good

Read full Article
March 09, 2026
post photo preview
The Manosphere Study That Reveals Academic Panic




The Manosphere Study That Reveals Academic Panic

I recently read a new study titled Mapping the Neo-Manosphere(s): New Directions for Research. It presents itself as a serious academic effort to understand the changing world of the manosphere—male influencers, anti-feminist spaces, incels, online male grievance communities, and the growing variety of voices speaking to young men outside mainstream institutions.

But as I read it, I found myself thinking that the study reveals something else too.

It reveals, I think, a kind of academic panic.

That may sound harsh, but I do not mean panic in some cartoonish sense. I do not mean scholars sitting around trembling because young men are listening to Andrew Tate. I mean something deeper than that. I mean a worldview that is starting to sense it is losing its monopoly on meaning.

That phrase gets at the heart of the problem.

For a long time, a fairly narrow academic and media establishment had enormous power to define what men’s experience meant. If men spoke of pain, that pain could be reinterpreted. If they spoke of unfairness, that could be called backlash. If they objected to feminism, that could be framed as resentment, fragility, or misogyny. The gatekeepers held the language, the categories, and the moral authority. They got to decide what counted as truth and what counted as danger.

What I think we are seeing now is that this old arrangement is weakening.

More and more young men are stepping outside those approved frameworks. They are listening to voices that tell them something they do not often hear from the mainstream: that they are not crazy, that the culture has often been deeply unfair to men and boys, that feminism is not the neutral benevolent force it pretends to be, and that many of the judgments placed on masculinity are not only harsh but profoundly distorted.

That is a hard development for the academic world to control.

And I think this study shows signs of that loss of control.


The paper begins with suspicion, not curiosity

One of the first things that struck me is that the study does not really begin with open inquiry. It begins with a verdict.

The manosphere is described as an ecosystem of anti-feminist and male-supremacist groups, bound together by the belief that society is a misandrist conspiracy against men.

That is a remarkable way to begin.

Notice what has already happened before the real analysis even gets going. Men’s grievances are not treated as possibly true, partly true, exaggerated, mixed, confused, or grounded in lived experience. No, they are placed at once inside a framework of suspicion. They are treated as either supremacist, conspiratorial, or both.

That is not a small thing. It tells you a lot about the paper.

A genuinely curious scholar might ask: Are there legitimate grievances in these communities mixed in with anger and distortion? Are some young men responding to real experiences of humiliation, pathologizing, or neglect? Are there distinctions that need to be made between lonely men, bitter men, wounded men, manipulative men, hateful men, fathers’ rights advocates, incels, male self-help figures, and young men simply trying to make sense of a culture that often seems to dislike them?

This paper does not show much interest in those distinctions.

Instead, it starts by putting the whole subject inside a moral quarantine.


This is less mapping than boundary enforcement

The study claims to be “mapping” the neo-manosphere. But much of what it actually does is spread suspicion outward from the worst elements until almost every male-centered space starts to feel contaminated.

Incels, MRAs, MGTOW, gamers, male influencers, anti-feminists, NoFap communities, stoics, wellness figures, conservative women, “tradwives,” anti-trans spaces, conspiracy material, right-wing populism, and monetized self-help all get pulled into a broad ecosystem of harm, grievance, reaction, or radicalization.

Now of course some of these spaces overlap. Of course there are bad actors in some of them. Of course the internet creates strange and unstable alliances.

But overlap is not identity. Proximity is not sameness. Shared audiences do not prove shared motives.

And yet the paper repeatedly leans on this method. It widens the frame, darkens the tone, and allows moral suspicion to move outward by association.

That is one reason I say this is less scholarship than boundary enforcement.

It is not merely describing a phenomenon. It is warning the reader which kinds of male-centered thought should be treated as suspect.


Male pain is not understood. It is managed.

This is one of the deeper patterns I notice in studies like this.

When men speak of pain, they are rarely just listened to. More often their pain is analyzed, explained away, or treated as if it carries some hidden threat.

And that is very much the case here.

The paper does briefly acknowledge loneliness, insecurity, mental-health struggles, and alienation among men. But those things are not really allowed to stand on their own as human realities deserving genuine moral attention. They are quickly folded back into the preferred academic framework: misogyny, radicalization, grievance markets, pipelines, monetization, and male supremacy.

In other words, male pain is not really explored. It is managed.

That sounds harsh, but I think it is true.

It is part of a larger double standard that has become so common many people hardly notice it anymore. When women gather around grievance, they are often listened to with sympathy. When men gather around grievance, they are often investigated with suspicion. When women are angry, we ask what happened to them. When men are angry, we ask who influenced them. When women seek solidarity, it is called healing. When men do, it is called a pipeline.

That difference matters. It tells us something important about the moral atmosphere in which these studies are written.


Even male self-help is treated as suspicious

Another thing that stood out to me is how the paper treats self-improvement in men.

Stoicism, discipline, fitness, confidence, anti-porn movements, semen retention, purpose, self-mastery, masculine restoration—again and again these are framed as entangled with grift, insecurity, reaction, or male supremacism.

Now certainly there are grifters in that world. Some male influencers are ridiculous. Some are exploitative. Some mix useful advice with ego, ideology, or posturing. That is true.

But there is another question that this paper has very little interest in asking: why are so many men drawn to those things in the first place?

Could it be because many men do not feel helped by the official culture? Could it be because schools often do not understand boys, therapy often speaks in a language many men experience as alien, and the broader culture often approaches masculinity with criticism rather than respect? Could it be because action, discipline, competence, structure, challenge, and purpose are not pathological male fantasies but part of how many men actually regain stability?

That possibility receives very little room here.

Instead, male forms of self-repair are treated with suspicion, as though any attempt by men to rebuild themselves outside approved therapeutic and ideological channels is likely to be contaminated.

This is one of the places where the paper feels especially revealing. It seems unable to imagine that men might turn toward masculine discipline not because they long to dominate, but because they are trying to survive.


The study also polices explanation

I was also struck by how clearly the paper wants to police the boundaries of acceptable thought.

It looks suspiciously on evolutionary psychology, on sex-difference approaches, and on those who question whether boys should always be encouraged to process emotion according to models more naturally suited to girls. It warns against views that emphasize biology or that reject the reigning social-constructionist framework.

That is very telling.

This is not simply disagreement about evidence. It is an attempt to decide in advance which kinds of explanation are morally acceptable and which are to be treated as suspect intrusions.

Again, that is why the phrase defensive ideological maintenance fits so well.

When a worldview is confident, it can tolerate competing explanations. It can test itself. It can afford curiosity.

When it is losing ground, it becomes more protective, more censorious, and more likely to turn scholarship into a kind of intellectual border patrol.

That is what I feel in this paper.


Why this is happening now

I do not think this kind of scholarship is appearing in a vacuum.

For a long time, the dominant academic and media culture enjoyed something close to a monopoly on how gender questions were interpreted. It could define the terms, assign the moral categories, and dismiss dissenters as backward, defensive, or dangerous. It could make its own assumptions look like simple decency.

That is harder to do now.

Young men can now hear very different interpretations of the world. They can hear criticisms of feminism that once would have been filtered out or ridiculed into silence. They can hear discussions about schools, dating, fatherlessness, therapy, family courts, media bias, double standards, false accusations, and the casual contempt often shown toward masculinity.

Some of these voices are wise. Some are foolish. Some are helpful. Some are toxic. But mixed into all of that is a message many young men recognize immediately: the culture has not been honest with you.

That message lands because it speaks to experience.

And once that begins happening on a large scale, the old gatekeepers no longer get to decide so easily what things mean.

That is what I mean by losing a monopoly on meaning.

I think that loss is one of the real drivers behind the strained tone of studies like this one. They are not just trying to describe a phenomenon. They are trying to recover authority over its interpretation.


A worldview under pressure will label more aggressively

One of the things that often happens when an ideology starts losing ground is that it leans more heavily on labels.

It becomes less curious and more managerial. Less open to complexity and more eager to classify. Instead of asking why people are leaving, it spends more time warning others not to follow them. Instead of listening, it maps. Instead of persuading, it pathologizes.

That pattern is all over this study.

The language is heavy with terms like supremacy, radicalization, contagion, pipelines, harm, and grievance. Some of those words may fit some corners of the manosphere. But in this paper they often do more than describe. They stigmatize. They mark certain kinds of male speech as inherently suspect.

That is why the piece feels so tense to me.

It has the tone of a worldview under pressure.

Not a worldview calmly examining reality, but one sensing that the ground beneath it is shifting.

 

What honest scholarship would do

A more honest study would begin from a more human place.

It would ask why so many boys and men are looking elsewhere for understanding.

It would ask why schools so often seem better fitted to girls than to boys.

It would ask why so many men experience therapy as alien or feminizing.

It would ask why criticism of feminism so often triggers moral panic rather than real debate.

It would ask whether some forms of masculine self-help arise not from domination, but from the failure of mainstream institutions to offer men forms of help that actually fit them.

And it would ask perhaps the most difficult question of all: whether some of what young men are hearing in these disapproved spaces contains not just resentment, but truth.

That would take courage.

It would also require scholars to question their own assumptions.

That may be exactly what they are least prepared to do.


Final thoughts

In the end, I do not think this paper tells us nearly as much about the manosphere as it tells us about the academic establishment.

It shows us a style of scholarship that has grown accustomed to interpreting men from above, with suspicion already built in. It shows us an intellectual class that has trouble distinguishing between male grievance and male supremacy, between masculine restoration and political danger, between unsupervised thought and extremism. And most of all, it shows us what happens when a worldview senses it is losing its monopoly on meaning.

That is why the paper feels the way it does.

It does not feel open. It does not feel genuinely curious. It does not feel like careful inquiry.

It feels like academic panic.

And I think more and more people are starting to notice.

Men Are Good.

Read full Article
February 23, 2026
post photo preview
Where Galoway Stops Short
Calling Men to Rise Without Naming What Pushed Them Down

Where Galoway Stops Short - Calling Men to Rise Without Naming What Pushed Them Down

Something unusual has happened in mainstream culture: a prominent public figure has spoken to men without contempt.

In his widely circulated reflections on masculinity, Scott Galloway tells men things they rarely hear anymore — that discipline matters, that status is real, that no one is coming to save them, and that adulthood still requires effort, competence, and responsibility.

In a culture that often speaks about men as a problem to be managed, he speaks to them as adults.

That alone makes his work a step in the right direction.

But it is only a step.

Because embedded within his message are two assumptions that deserve closer examination.



When Pain Is Treated Like Weather

Galloway acknowledges that many men are struggling. He names loneliness, economic displacement, sexual exclusion, and a growing sense of irrelevance.

But these realities are framed as impersonal shifts — like automation, globalization, or changing markets. The world evolved. Adapt.

There is no villain. No moral accounting. Just conditions.

But much of what men are experiencing did not unfold quietly or accidentally.

It happened in open daylight.

For decades now:

  • Boys have been described as “toxic.”

  • Masculinity has been framed as inherently dangerous.

  • Fathers have been treated as optional.

  • Male ambition has been recoded as domination.

  • Male restraint has been interpreted as emotional deficiency.

These were not subtle cultural breezes. They were institutionalized narratives — repeated in media, education, and public discourse.

Men did not imagine this shift. They lived through it.

To speak about male pain without acknowledging the cultural disdain that preceded it is to ghost the very experience men are trying to make sense of.

If a man absorbs, year after year, the message that his nature is suspect, the shame that follows does not originate inside him.

It is absorbed.

And absorbed shame cannot be healed by discipline alone.



Responsibility Without Reciprocity

The second issue is not that Galloway calls men to responsibility.

Responsibility matters.

Structure matters.

Competence matters.

Men do not need to be rescued from adulthood.

But when responsibility is presented as the sole remedy — without acknowledging cultural injury — it subtly transforms pain into proof of failure.

If you are hurting, you must not have adapted well enough.

If you are struggling, you must not be disciplined enough.

Pain becomes diagnostic of insufficiency.

That may produce functionality.
It does not necessarily produce healing.

And it quietly leaves the culture itself unexamined.



What This Is Not

Let me be clear about something.

This is not an argument for coddling men.

It is not an argument for lowering standards.
It is not an argument for emotional indulgence or endless processing circles.
It is not an argument for turning men into women.

Men do not need to be babied.

They need to be understood accurately.



What Men Actually Need

What is missing from the conversation is something I would call respect-based empathy.

Respect-based empathy does not treat men as fragile.
It does not assume that emotional expression is superior to endurance.
It does not pathologize male withdrawal.

It recognizes that men often heal differently — and that those differences deserve admiration rather than suspicion.

When a man withdraws for a day or two after a setback, that may not be avoidance. It may be integration. When he fixes something, builds something, runs hard, works longer hours, or goes quiet, he may be metabolizing stress in a deeply male way.

For many men, solitude is not escape. It is work.

But in a culture that filters coping through a single emotional style, male processing is easily misread as deficiency.

And that misreading quietly reinforces the very problem we claim to address.



Admiration Is Fuel

Men are fueled by admiration and respect.

Not indulgence.
Not protection.
Respect.

When a man feels respected, he expands.
When he feels perpetually scrutinized or pathologized, he contracts.

The cultural shift that would help men most is not softer expectations.

It is moral clarity.

Clarity that says:

“Yes, some of this pain did not originate inside you.”
“Yes, some of it came from narratives that diminished you.”
“And yes, the way you work through it has dignity.”

Responsibility matters.

But responsibility without acknowledgment of cultural harm becomes another burden.

Strength and suffering can coexist.

Calling men to rise without first admitting that they were pushed down in public view is not maturity. It is amnesia.

And offering responsibility without respect-based empathy risks reinforcing the very isolation we claim to address.

Men do not need coddling.

They need to be seen clearly.

They need standards, yes — but they also need a culture wise enough to recognize the dignity in how they endure.

Until we add that understanding, responsibility alone is not enough.

Men Are Good.

Read full Article
See More
Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals