MenAreGood
Maryland Commission for Men's Health Report on Domestic Violence (2010)
July 23, 2024

I wrote this report when I was the vice-chair of the Maryland Commission for Men’s Health in 2008-2010. This was one of three reports that The Maryland Department of Health tried to deep six. It took us a year to track down what they had done and the reports finally made their way to the legislators. (The story of this event was a chapter in Janice Fiamengo’s excellent book Sons of Feminism: Men Have Their Say.) They really didn’t want this to get out and they succeeded since it was a year late. It was written with the idea of giving legislators a good sense of the bigoted path the domestic violence industry had taken in Maryland. It continues to be a good summary of how the feminists have built a lethal anti-male industry. It is amazing and shocking how little has changed since that time. Sad too.

The attached image was not a part of the original report. lol I couldn’t resist.😀

 

 

Perhaps the most confusing, perplexing, and controversial area in which men’s health needs are overlooked is the issue of male victims of domestic violence. One immediately noticeable trend is the strong tendency to focus solely on female victims and ignore male victims. This tendency is seen repeatedly.  Most media, whether print or electronic, focuses on female victims of domestic violence and all too often fails to mention male victims. Almost every article in the newspaper and every program on TV about domestic violence focuses on female victims.  We see the same focus in academia: courses in sociology and women’s studies repeat the message that women are the primary victims of domestic violence and rarely mention male victims. If you look on the internet at web sites of domestic violence agencies you will likely see a similar bias.1 One oft-quoted statistic is that according to a Department of Justice report, there are 1.5 million women each year in the United States who are victims of domestic violence.  What you don’t see is that the same report also found that there are 834,000 male victims of domestic violence each year in the United States.2  Rather than adding the two and saying 2.3 million Americans suffer from domestic violence each year, all too often the only statistic highlighted is the one about women. One side of the story is told and the other side is ignored, as 834,000 men are omitted. Nationally, we have the “Violence Against Women Act” which boldly excludes men from its name. The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges (a national group that teaches judges on the issue of domestic violence) offers a typical description which includes women but seems to minimize men: “Domestic violence puts millions of women and their families at risk each year and is one of the single greatest social ills impacting the nation.”3 There is no mention of men who might be at risk.  Most organizations promote the idea that females are the overwhelming majority of victims of domestic violence.  The general public has heard that message for decades and believes it to be the sole truth.  But is it?

The National Council Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) offers a similar message that women are the vast majority of the victims of domestic violence. According to their definition of domestic violence: “There is not a typical woman who will be battered – the risk factor is being born female.”4 If “the” risk factor is being born female, that seems to exclude men from sharing the risk. But a look at their own statistics compiled from state governments tells a very different story. In the state of Maryland, according to NCADV statistics, men comprise 23% of the victims of domestic violence, and women are 23% of the perpetrators.5 Maryland State Police statistics reveal similar estimates, listing men as 25% of all victims of domestic violence.6 These numbers are confirmed and even exceeded when compared with peer-reviewed research. What you find is that men are a sizable portion of the victims of domestic violence, a much larger portion than is usually mentioned through a variety of sources. In fact, peer-reviewed research reveals that most domestic violence is characterized not by one person abusing the other, but by what is termed as “reciprocal” violence: a brawl between two partners.7 The bulk of the research also suggests that women are more often the initiators of the violence.8  This sharp contrast between the commonly-held public view of women as the vast majority of domestic violence victims with men as the sole perpetrators, versus the research and statistics compiled by authoritative sources, paint pictures that are hard to reconcile.

The domestic violence agencies in Maryland are obviously comprised of a compassionate group of people dedicated to fighting a horrible problem.  The Maryland Commission for Men’s Health wholeheartedly agrees with them that domestic violence needs our attention and our resources. The issue that the commission finds worrisome is that it appears that only a part of the problem of domestic violence is being addressed in earnest: the female victims. The other parts are taking a back seat: male victims and female perpetrators. Due to this imbalance, some Marylanders go unserved and left in great pain.

There is a saying among NASA engineers that “an ounce of thrust at takeoff can mean thousands of miles down course.”  The ounce of thrust that has thrown the domestic violence industry off course is the idea of holding men and masculinity solely responsible for the incidence of domestic violence. In its early years as a cause, many of those working in domestic violence assumed that men were the sole cause of domestic violence and, of course, women were seen as the only victims.  It was this contention that has limited their vision to see the complexity of domestic violence and its many victims both male and female, heterosexual and homosexual. Over the years, various organizations and individuals have tried to offer feedback that males are in need of treatment as victims and females are in need of attention as perpetrators, but all too often their voices go noticably unheard.

 

How did things get to this point?

When domestic violence activism first started in the 1970’s, the leaders were mostly feminists who were rightly concerned about the lives and safety of women. What they saw was shocking: situations where muscular men were beating innocent women. Very quickly these stories started making their way to the media. People were shocked and outraged. The activists kept the stories flowing to the media and the media continued to alert the public to the truly awful horror stories. The feminist activists applied their ideological template to the issues of domestic violence. In the 1970’s, the feminist template presumed men were a major cause of women’s problems and were a large inhibiting factor holding women back from a variety of opportunities.  Phrases like “all men are rapists” and “men are pigs” were commonplace.  Men were routinely disdained and blamed.  The horror of males committing domestic violence gave some reason to believe that these early misandrist stereotypes of men might hold some truth.  Uncaring men, using their power to control and beat women, were observed repeatedly in these domestic violence situations, and this led to the assumption that it was men who were the underlying cause of a grievous social problem.  Sadly, we now know that this idea of men being the underlying cause of the problem represents a truth but simply not the whole truth.  What we now know is that although the stories of women being beaten by bullying men were certainly true, they told only part of the story.  Researchers today characterize domestic violence as being 25% men beating women, 25% women beating men and 50% being more of a brawl between the two people.9  The brawling and the violent women had been overshadowed by the more shocking and outrageous examples of helpless women being beaten by bullying men.

This statistical breakdown of 25%-25%-50% is a shock to many and very difficult to believe.   However, we have already seen how the premier national domestic violence organization, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), verifies that in Maryland, for example, men comprise 23% of the victims and females 23% of the perpetrators of domestic violence.  Why would people not believe this to be the case?  Could it be that an ideology that holds men as the primary culprits in incidences of domestic violence continues to inhibit them from seeing situations in which men are victimized by abusive women?

The feminist idea that men are wholly responsible for domestic violence found immediate traction.  The horrible situations that were being reported were all of abusive men terrorizing defenseless women.  This sort of scenario struck a chord in both men and women who heard these reports.  The women were moved due to their own compassion for other women and children who might be vulnerable and in need.  The men were moved since an important part of the man’s biological and social sex role is to provide and protect for women and children.  Seeing women abused by out-of-control men was a very strong call to action for most men.  It is little wonder then that most states quickly developed laws and the beginnings of support for these female victims.  By the 1980s, only a few short years from the early activism of the 1970s, many states had already put domestic violence laws on their books. That’s moving pretty fast, for legislative bodies, who are known for their tendency to be circumspect when introducing whole new classes of penal laws.

What prevented evidence of other forms of domestic violence from coming to the surface? One answer to this question comes from one of the original domestic violence activists, Ellen Pence. Pence was the author of an important book about domestic violence and the influential Duluth Model (discussed below). She was also the founder of the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.  Pence admits that there was an effort to avoid issues related to women’s violence and highlights the neglect of female abusers:

In many ways, we turned a blind eye to many women’s use of violence, their drug use and alcoholism, and their often harsh and violent treatment of their own children.10

Why would the original activists “turn a blind eye?”  Did they not see that turning a blind eye put many innocent people in jeopardy?  One of the reasons was surely that the theoretical framework of men being the “only abusers” left no room to see women as anything but victims.  The norm for viewing female abusers came to be that a female abuser was considered to have been “abused in the past” and was acting this way out of hurt and self-defense, not evil or anything else. Their view of domestic violence simply did not allow room for the possibility of the woman as the abuser, plain and simple.  As in all things, if your theoretical framework doesn’t account for a phenomenon to exist, it is much less likely to be recognized.  It is also probably true that the media showed more interest in the stories where women were abused by men.  These stories touched a cultural nerve and therefore sold more papers and air time.  People wanted to read about female victims, but were not so interested in hearing about males who were abused by women. The early activists must have found that they could get the word out much more quickly and more powerfully by focusing on stories about men beating women.

The focus on male batterers and female victims has left us knowing a good deal less about female batterers. How could the less-physically powerful women ever batter or intimidate men?   What we have since found out through research is that violent women make up for their lack of physical strength by using weapons and the tactic of surprise.11  In domestic violence situations, women will often use weapons when men are vulnerable.  Think of Lorena Bobbitt who severed her husband’s penis while he slept or Mary Winkler who shot her husband in the back with a shotgun while he was sleeping, or Clara Harris who ran over her husband with her car as her daughter sat next to her.  All are examples of women committing domestic violence by using the element of surprise paired with lethal weapons. Interestingly, none of these murders or incidents was ever portrayed by the media as domestic violence.  The words “domestic violence” seem to be reserved exclusively for male-on-female violence only.  When women do choose to be violent as in the above examples, muscles simply don’t matter.  A shotgun will beat muscles every time.  The national figures for the United States show that 30% of spousal murders, the most lethal form of domestic violence, are committed by women against their husbands or partners.12

It wasn’t just the domestic violence activists who intentionally ignored women’s violence.  Our culture also tends to look the other way.  For whatever reasons, a woman’s violence is simply not as upsetting to see.  Just watch television shows or movies to see the frequency of women hitting or kicking men. In today’s world it is a given for women to hit men on TV but not the other way around.  Everyone sees this but few seem to get upset or to protest.  We are living with a huge double-standard where a woman’s violence against a man is something we see in cartoons, movies, commercials, or TV as innocuous or even comical. We see plenty of violence from men towards other men but when we see violence from men towards women it is seen as anything but comical or innocuous; it is seen as deadly.  This double-standard likely increases the chances for women’s violence in relationships to be overlooked by the media, the general public and by domestic violence workers.

It is also likely true that once these activists were looking for funding for their endeavors from the government or private institutions, the stories about “vulnerable women in great need of safety” brought much more attention and promises of funding than did a similar story of a man being abused by his wife.  Every politician wanted to be seen as the one helping solve this problem by “making women safe in their own homes”.  Those stories about men as victims simply didn’t have the same traction.  No politician wanted to touch those.  For them, rather than help male victims in their lobbying for funds, the stories of abused men would likely muddy the waters and detract from the powerful images of women-in-need.  The stories about men-in-need were also completely counter to the growing ideology that men were the source of all domestic violence.  An abused man simply didn’t fit into that framework and would likely have decreased the success of any unisex funding efforts.

It is easy to see how the ideology of men as the source of the domestic violence problem likely developed over the initial years of domestic violence activism.  It fit with the image that the media was helping to portray. It fit with the feminist idea that men were “the problem” and it surely helped in advocating for domestic violence funding.  There were good reasons simply to not bring up men-as-victims.

 

The Duluth Model

In the early 1980s an important event transpired in the history of domestic violence prevention.  A group of domestic violence activists met in Duluth, Minnesota after a particularly gruesome murder of a wife by a husband.  The group started to put together what would eventually become the “Duluth Model”, which has since become a staple ideological protocol for most domestic violence agencies in the US.  In some states, its use is mandated.  In many ways it has become the handbook for those working with domestic violence victims and situations.  It is important to understand the initial questions asked by the Duluth gathering at the inception of the Duluth Model theory.  Here are questions asked by those at the initial gathering: “Why is she the target of his violence”  “Why does he think he is entitled to have power?”  “How does the community support his violence?”13  As you can see from the questions, the Duluth Model at its very beginnings was only about male violence towards women.  It was never about mutual violence or a woman’s violence towards a man. It was only about men beating women.  It had no remarks or suggestions for abused men or about female perpetrators.  The flagship theory of the industry only focused on women as victims and men as perpetrators.  Australian author Tom Graves has evaluated the Duluth Model and lists its major problems.  Here are the first three:

1.  It believes that violence is masculine and that men are responsible for violence
2.  It refuses to remark or address the fact that men can be the recipients of violence
3.  It holds only men responsible as change agents.14

These three errors play a huge part in the failure of the Duluth Model to address the needs of male victims and the needs of female perpetrators.  Let’s hypothesize a possible example of the damage that can occur from stereotyping victims of domestic violence:  Imagine both wife and husband have been drinking.  The wife, in a burst of anger, throws a wine bottle at her husband who was hit on the arm as he blocked the bottle.  The wife next comes after him with a wine glass and tries to throw wine in his face.  He blocked that also and in the process, the wine glass breaks and cuts his wife.  The police arrive.  They find a bleeding and crying wife and a husband who claimed that he had been attacked.  Their Duluth Model training has taught them that the vast majority of victims of domestic violence are female and so, what do they do? Arrest the man and put him in jail!  No matter how much the man might try to explain his actions, the police would likely refuse to listen.  In fact, once the wife realizes her husband was going to jail, she would probably start to tell the truth, that she was the attacker.  The police would of course hear none of it and off to jail the man would go.

This man would be placed into a mandatory Duluth Model domestic violence “educational” group.  He would not be allowed to speak the truth of what had happened. When he would try to explain that it was his wife who had attacked him, he would be told to be quiet and focus on his violence. The truth of his being abused would be seen by the group leaders as an “excuse” that keeps him from taking responsibility for his violence.  He would be forced never to mention his wife’s violence.  He would have two choices.  One would be to tell the truth and not “graduate” from the educational sessions, which would leave him legally vulnerable.  The other would be to lie and say he was the abuser.  We could guess that this man would choose to lie simply in order to ”graduate” from the “training”.

This sort of example shows how the system can take on the role of what is being called a “third party” abuser.  The spouse no longer has a need to batter.  The police and community agencies are now taking over that role by treating the falsely-accused man in a manner that lacks respect for him as a human being who has been abused or as a citizen with the right to be presumed innocent or to have his side of a given unwitnessed incident fairly considererd.  This is what can happen when pre-judgments arising from stereotypes are used instead of impartial mindsets coupled with factual analysis.

Since its inception, the Duluth Model has been reworked and made more “gender neutral”, but it continues to fail miserably in its capacity to address the needs of men who are victimized and of women who are violent.

If you visit the Duluth Model web site, you can see that their primary focus on female victims continues to this day.  The Duluth site claims that women account for as many as 97% of the victims of domestic violence.15  We know from both police reports and from peer-reviewed research that this is far from the truth.  It does however show that the Duluth Model continues to be focused on female victims and has failed in taking current thinking and research into account, thus placing male victims at risk and allowing female perpetrators to go unchecked or psychiatrically untreated for their abusiveness.

 

The Duluth Model spreads to the community

As the domestic violence industry grew, the Duluth Model took a greater and greater hold on the theoretical practices of domestic violence agencies.  As it took this greater hold, the ideas of domestic violence being only about men beating women spread farther.  As funding grew for domestic violence agencies, the funding for trainings grew correspondingly.  The 1994 federal Violence Against Women Act started pouring about one billion dollars per year into domestic violence endeavors.  A part of that money was spent on trainings given to the court systems, judges, police, lawyers and domestic violence workers.  The message the workshops broadcast was founded on the Duluth Model ideology that women were the vast majority of domestic violence victims and men were only a tiny minority.  More and more, the ideas of the Duluth Model became the standard.  It was presented as fact that domestic violence is pretty much only about women being abused by men.  That ideology is now set firmly in place.  The early work of the activists has focused exclusively on abused women and now the theoretical framework that guided their work is firmly planted in an ideology that focuses on female victims but ignores the needs of male victims and the actions of female perpetrators.  Now these ideas have been spread successfully into our community agencies and public institutions.

 

Opposing Voices to the Duluth Model — Researchers

Murray Straus, Richard Gelles, and Susan Steinmetz are early researchers on issues of domestic violence.  This group published a book in 1982 that ran counter to the feminist ideology.  The book, Behind Closed Doors,16 said clearly that domestic violence was a two-way street with both men and women responsible as perpetrators and victims.  The response was swift and powerful.  Upon publication, Straus, Gelles and Steinmetz were immediately seen as enemies. Prior to their findings that there is gender symmetry in domestic violence, they had been praised and held in high esteem as instrumental in the early research on domestic violence.  But once they found data that contradicted the feminist belief that men were the only perpetrators and women the only victims, things changed drastically.  At that point, they lost their glow and became villains to those who supported the ideas of women as the only victims of domestic violence.  Death threats and other avenues of intimidation were used to try to silence them.  Murray Straus, Ph.D., describes his struggle with intimidation and explains his own reluctance to publish his results that went counter to the feminist domestic violence ideology:

Researchers who have an ideological commitment to the idea that men are almost always the sole perpetrator often conceal evidence that contradicts this belief. Among researchers not committed to that ideology, many (including me and some of my colleagues) have withheld results showing gender symmetry to avoid becoming victims of the vitriolic denunciations and ostracism. Thus, many researchers have published only the data on male perpetrators or female victims, deliberately omitting the data on female perpetrators and male victims.17

In essence, these researchers were being bullied. In fact, Straus published a paper in 2006 that describes not only the intimidation they suffered but also chronicles the specific ways that the feminist researchers made certain that their own data only produced the desired results that reflected the ideology that women were the primary victims of domestic violence.18

The research by Straus, Gelles, Steinmetz, and many others which clearly shows that men are victims has been available through journal articles for years.19   Some activists have drawn from the statistics and findings and tried to use this information to change the system to encourage existing services to include focus on male victims of domestic violence.  When activists make such attempts, they are usually met with the same results most every time:  the domestic violence industry claims that the peer-reviewed research is inaccurate and cites numbers from their own clinical settings, hospital settings, and emergency rooms.  The numbers they cite are very different from the research numbers and clearly show that domestic violence is indeed primarily a “men beat women” problem.  So who is correct?  The quick answer is BOTH.  The research numbers from scientists such as Strauss, Gelles, and Steinmetz are correct from their perspective and from the populations they studied.  These numbers were usually drawn from the general population and reflect the “average” person or family.

But how about the domestic violence agencies numbers?  Well, they are correct also, but one must note that the sample they draw from is very biased.  They draw from a population that has been utilizing services specifically built for women who were abused.  It is little wonder that they would therefore be more likely to show greater numbers of female victims.  Imagine a hospital that was built specifically for the treatment of caucasian diabetics.  When they look at their own numbers and stats they would assuredly say that the majority of victims of diabetes are white!  Since their services are built to serve whites, that is exactly what their stats will show.  One would also assume that they would be teaching in the community about whites and diabetes and also do Public Service Announcements for whites who might have diabetes.  The same thing happens within the domestic violence industry.  The entire system was originally built for women.  The name of the law the Violence Against Women Act makes that very clear.  It is little wonder that the statistics they compile and the research done within the domestic violence industry on their own populations would reflect that women were the primary victims.  You see this idea filter down to the clinical level where almost every group for domestic violence victims in Maryland is for women only.  The treatment groups are almost always built for male perpetrators and female victims. The overwhelming majority of public service announcements on domestic violence are focused on female victims.  When you solicit for a certain type of victim, it is no surprise that your statistics, trainings and treatment will center around that particular type of client.

 

Opposing Voices to the Duluth Model — Clinicians

While the peer-reviewed research has been noting male victims for years, the clinical side of the equation has now started getting noticed.   In 2007, the American Psychiatric Association published an article in the August issue of Psychiatric News titled: “Men Shouldn’t be Overlooked as Victims of Partner Violence.”20  The article cited some of the research findings about women being more likely then men in relationship to initiate domestic violence and focused on issues of reciprocal interpersonal violence versus nonreciprocal violence. Here is a quote from the article:

Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women.

And another:

As for physical injury due to intimate partner violence, it was more likely to occur when the violence was reciprocal than nonreciprocal. And while injury was more likely when violence was perpetrated by men, in relationships with reciprocal violence it was the men who were injured more often (25 percent of the time) than were women (20 percent of the time). “This is important as violence perpetrated by women is often seen as not serious,” Whitaker and his group stressed.

The word is getting out that both men and women are perpetrators and victims of domestic violence.

 

Opposing Voices to the Duluth Model — The Courts

The courts are also starting to take notice of the discrimination that men face in the domestic violence industry.  In the Woods et. al. vs California case in 2008, a Superior Court in Sacramento, ruled that male domestic violence victims had been unconstitutionally denied services.  The court held that state laws violated men’s equal protection rights by excluding male victims from state-funded domestic violence services.  The court found: “domestic violence is a serious problem for both women and men” and that “men experience significant levels of domestic violence as victims.”21  The court also found a percentage of state-funded programs deny men services they are entitled to receive.

Then, in October 2009, a West Virginia judge struck down state rules for regulating domestic violence shelters because they operate “on the premise that only men can be batterers and only women can be victims” and “exclude adult and adolescent males from their statutory right to safety and security free from domestic violence based only on their gender.”22

 

Are there men who fall through the cracks?

We have seen how the domestic violence industry has had a history of blaming men and masculinity for domestic violence. This sort of theoretical assumption has a negative impact on the willingness of men to seek help. The men, not unlike the early female victims of domestic violence in the 1970’s who were very reluctant to seek treatment, are certain that no one cares about their situation and are highly unlikely to seek out services when not invited. What compounds this problem for men is that their gender is blamed for the original problem.

We have learned from Maryland State Police statistics that men comprise about 25% of the victims of domestic violence in Maryland.23 What we don’t know is the percentage of males seeking treatment as victims of domestic violence.  In checking with a number of Maryland Domestic Violence agencies, they often say that the number of male victims is very small.  Some of the treatment centers claim that men are only 4% of their clients.  If the State Police count men as 25% of the 20,000 victims of domestic violence recorded annually in Maryland and the agencies that offer treatment for domestic violence say that men are only 4% of the victims that request treatment, that seems to leave a huge number of men who are untreated victims.  It seems likely that a large percentage of the 5000+ men who are reported by State Police as victims of domestic violence in Maryland are falling through the cracks and not getting the help they need and are entitled to as citizens and residents.

What once started as a righteous cause to help battered women has evolved over the years to be something that seems to help battered women but also seems to neglect the needs of violent women and battered men and ignores the imperatives that the fundamental demands our tradition of justice holds dear.  Both the media and academia seem to focus solely on female victims of domestic violence, with a much smaller focus or none at all on male victims.  Researchers doing peer-reviewed research have consistently found evidence that men and women are both victims of domestic violence, but this finding has not been translated to changing the treatment that men receive in domestic violence agencies. Clinical groups such as the American Psychiatric Association are beginning to alert the public and clinicians that men are indeed a sizable percentage of domestic violence victims.  The courts have also started pointing out the discrimination that is present in many domestic violence agencies that treat men and women differently.
This report is not claiming that men are never served through domestic violence agencies in the state of Maryland.  It is however claiming that Maryland’s domestic violence services have traditionally been created for women only and this has a chilling effect on men’s usage of these facilities.

 

A Proposal For Practical Change

There is a domestic violence group named “Safe For All” that offers trainings nationwide and is particularly aware of the many issues around domestic violence, including those of male victims and of people in homosexual relationships, also an under-recognized and under-served group.   Their web address is http://safe4all.org/24 The National Family Law Legislative Resource Center, www.nfvlrc.org25 represents the nation’s leading authorties, clinicians, and researchers on domestic violence and could also offer trainings and consultations.26

Although calls to Maryland shelters and crisis lines to test for discriminatory handling of reports have at the present time not been conducted, there is no question such testing can be conducted and most likely will be conducted in order to support lawsuits similar to the successful ones used in the legal cases in California and West Virginia cited above. The results of such testing in Maryland would likely mirror these results: In a national poll by Clark University, female researchers studied 302 abused men who sought help. Their key findings were that 63.9% of men who called hotlines were told they only helped women, and 68.7% said the hotlines were not at all helpful. Of those that contacted a local domestic violence (shelter) program, 95.3% said the program gave the impression that they were biased against men, 78.3% said they don’t help male victims, and 63.9% suggested the male caller was the batterer. (See; http://clarku.edu/faculty/dhines/results.htm.27 )

Therefore, in order to avoid costly and time-consuming lawsuits, it behooves the State of Maryland to require all domestic violence service organizations that receive pass-through federal funding or state funding of any type to receive training in non-discriminatory but practical approaches and techniques for handling domestic violence cases and suspected or reported cases. Such training is available via the two organizations referenced above, and also from others.

Whether or not gay and heterosexual men represent a small minority, a large minority, or an equal number of such victims as compared to women in the population is immaterial. The State of Maryland  by its policies and procedures is obligated to encourage and support only those organizations that practice inclusion, diversity and non-discrimination. However, not even very large urban areas can financially support “separate but equal” domestic violence facilities and services for men and women. Not only is it not practical, but such a policy does little to combat discrimination and only encourages conflict over funding resources.  1. The purpose of this training is to provide guidance and directives in how to implement a non-discrimination policy in all service areas.  2. As part of this training program, a compliance coordination methodology shall be developed to assure that the non-discrimination policy is being carried out by agencies who participated in the training. 3. The training will provide cost-effective, implementable, and practical steps that each agency or organization can take to eliminate discrimination and incorporate gender and sexual orientation inclusive policies.

We respectfully request the Office of The Governor to immediately begin the implementation of such a training program.

 

 

REFERENCES

1 One example is the Allstate page <http://www.clicktoempower.org/> linked from the Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV) web page that rightly claims that 3 women each day (actually it is closer to 4) die of domestic violence in the United States. They fail to mention that nearly 2 men die each day due to being murdered by their female partner. This is a glaring omission. In 2007 1640 women were murdered by their male intimates and 700 men were murdered by their female partners. http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/index.cfm?ty=tp&tid=971 Why are the male victims omitted?

2 “Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey | National Institute of Justice.” Office of Justice Programs. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/nij/pubs-sum/172837.htm>.

3 “Family Violence.” National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges . N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Dec. 2009. <www.ncjfcj.org/content/view/20/94/>.

4 “National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://www.ncadv.org/learn/TheProblem.php>.

5 “Domestic Violence Facts: Maryland.” National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Dec. 2009. <www.ncadv.org/files/Maryland.pdf>.

6 “Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV).” Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV). N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://mnadv.org/DV_Stats/ucr_stats.html>.

7  Whitaker, Daniel. “Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence.” Journal of Public Health 97.May (2007): 941-947. Print.

8  Ibid.

9  Ibid.

10 Pence E. Some thoughts on philosophy. In Shepard M and Pence E (eds.): Coordinating Community Responses to Domestic Violence: Lessons from Duluth and Beyond. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publishers, 1999, p. 30.

11  McNeely, R. L., Cook,  P. W. & Torres, J. B.  (2001).  Is domestic violence a gender issue or a human issue?  Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment, 4 (4), 227-251.

12  “Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) – Intimate partner violence.” Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) . N.p., n.d. Web. 12 Jan. 2010. <http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/index.cfm?ty=tp&tid=971>.

13 Paymar, Michael, and Ellen Pence. Education Groups for Men Who Batter: The Duluth Model. 1 ed. New York: Springer Publishing Company, 1993. Print.

14 Graves, Tom. Power and Response-ability: the human side of systems. London: Tetradian, 2008. Print.

15 Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs, Home of the Duluth Model.” Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs, Home of the Duluth Model. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheelgallery.php>.

16 Gelles, Richard J., and Murray Straus. Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family. New Ed ed. New Brunswick: Transaction Publishers, 2006. Print.

17 “Processes Explaining the Concealment and Distortion of Evidence on Gender Symetry in Partner Violence.” University of New Hampshire. N.p., n.d. Web.18 Dec. 2009. <pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/V74-gender-symmetry-with-gramham-Kevan-Method%208-.pdf>.

18 Ibid.

19 “REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY.” California State University, Long Beach. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm>.

20 Arehart-Treichel, Joan. “Men Shouldn’t Be Overlooked as Victims of Partner Violence.” APA Psychiatric News 42.15 (2007): 31-33. Print.

21  “Appeals court decision supports battered men.” San Francisco Bay Area — News, Sports, Business, Entertainment, Classifieds: SFGate. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/10/15/BA3S13HOLS.DTL>.

22 Press, The Associated. “W.Va. domestic-violence program regulations voided  – News – The Charleston Gazette – West Virginia News and Sports.” – – The Charleston Gazette – West Virginia News and Sports. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 Dec. 2009. <http://www.wvgazette.com/News/200910080509>.

23 “Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV).” Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence (MNADV). N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Dec. 2009. <http://www.mnadv.org/DV_Stats/ucr_stats.html>.

24 “Welcome!.” Stop Abuse for Everyone. N.p., n.d. Web. 18 Dec. 2009. <safe4all.org>.

25 Robinson, Michael. “National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center.” National Family Violence Legislative Resource Center. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Jan. 2010. <http://www.nfvlrc.org/>.

26 Please consult with the Chairman or Vice-Chairman of the Maryland Commission for Men’s Health for more information on these organizations.

27 “Results from Study on Men’s Experiences of Partner Aggression.” Clark University | One of 40 “Colleges that Change Lives”. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Jan. 2010. <http://clarku.edu/faculty/dhines/results.htm>.

 
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False Allegations - What the Numbers Don't Tell Us

We are getting a head start on International Falsely Accused day on Sept 9th!

How many false allegations of sexual abuse are there? We are often told they are extremely rare—perhaps only one to three percent. But those numbers depend on an extraordinarily narrow definition of what qualifies as a false allegation. They usually count only allegations proven to have been deliberately fabricated. Mistaken identity, contaminated memories, misunderstandings, suggestive interviewing, unsupported accusations and even recanted allegations may not be included.

In this conversation, Janice Fiamengo and I speak with Dr. Felicity Goodyear Smith, a physician, forensic medical examiner and professor at the University of Auckland who has studied wrongful allegations for more than three decades. Felicity explains the many different ways an innocent person can be accused, separating deliberate fabrications from allegations that are sincerely believed but untrue.

We also examine how “believe the victim” has ...

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The Women's Health Narrative Meets the DATA

What if one of the most common claims in health policy simply isn’t true?

We’ve all heard the refrain: women are underfunded, under-researched, and left behind by the medical establishment. It’s repeated so often that most people never stop to ask for the evidence.

In this roundtable, Jack Kammer, Ed Bartlett, Ed Stephens, Jim Nuzzo, and I compare that narrative with the available data. We examine research funding, clinical trial participation, life expectancy, and the unintended consequences of policies that consistently prioritize one sex while neglecting the other.

This isn’t an argument against women’s health. It’s an argument for evidence, fairness, and a healthier future for everyone.

Link to the Feminist pdf that calls for 20 Billion dollars for women’s health!
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IKEEZMGXtRNxU4n5K_M1d6k2w-ZP_wVT/view

Jim Nuzzo

The Nuzzo Newsletter on Substack http//jameslnuzzo.Substack.com
X: https://x.com/JamesLNuzzo

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A visit to the Doc.

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Feminism Cannot Be Reformed: It Must Be Destroyed Root and Branch

Janice Fiamengo’s new book is out, and this excerpt from the Foreword gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect. Janice goes straight to the heart of feminism and gives ample reasons for its demolition.

This is an important book. I hope you’ll get a copy for yourself—and maybe send one to someone who is even a little bit open to seeing the reality of feminism rather than the equality mask presented by feminists and so much of the media.

https://fiamengofile.substack.com/p/feminism-cannot-be-reformed

Well worth watch it’s good seeing men calling out women’s bull shit when the same women are not use to fair honest responses!

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/1JtTnYLC7K/?mibextid=wwXIfr

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From Shooter to Heroine: The Glorification of Feminist Violence

I recently joined Hannah Spier, Janice Fiamengo, and Jim Nuzzo for a fascinating discussion about one of our culture’s most striking double standards: why violence by women is so often explained, excused, or even celebrated, while violence by men is treated very differently. We examine Valerie Solanas, the attempted murder of Andy Warhol, the SCUM Manifesto, and the film I Shot Andy Warhol, asking what the celebration and romanticizing of Solanas reveals about gynocentrism, empathy, and cultural bias. I think you’ll find it both thought-provoking and eye-opening.

September 28, 2026
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The King Within
Robert Moore and the Archetype That Blesses Life

 

 

 


If you want to understand Robert Moore’s four archetypes of mature masculinity, begin with the King.

Not because the King dominates the Warrior, Magician, and Lover, but because he provides the center around which their powers can be ordered. Without that center, the Warrior may fight without knowing what is worth defending. The Magician may understand everything while believing in nothing. The Lover may become overwhelmed by everything he feels and desires.

The King gives these powers direction.

The word itself may cause trouble. We hear “King” and may think of monarchy, dominance, privilege, patriarchy, or a man who expects everyone else to obey him. But that is almost the opposite of what Moore meant by the mature King. The King is not the man at the top demanding that the world revolve around him. That is the inflated ego masquerading as the King.

The true King creates order, accepts responsibility, blesses life, and uses his power to help others grow.

That difference is the heart of Moore’s teaching.


The Center Is Within—but It Is Not Me

Moore believed that the psyche contains deep organizing patterns that Jung called archetypes. They are not roles we invent or costumes we decide to wear. They are fundamental human potentials that shape how we experience power, love, struggle, knowledge, purpose, and relationship.

For Moore, the four major patterns of mature masculinity were the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover. Each creates a different kind of psychological space. The Warrior confronts and acts. The Magician understands and transforms. The Lover connects and appreciates. The King brings order, meaning, blessing, and generativity to the whole.

But the human ego is not the archetype.

This was a point Moore made repeatedly because so much psychological and political trouble begins when a person confuses the two. The ego touches an enormous transpersonal energy and concludes, “I am that.” A leader begins to believe he is the nation. A father assumes that his authority makes him the source of truth. A therapist accepts a client’s idealization and starts to imagine himself uniquely wise. A successful man comes to believe that the people around him exist primarily as an audience for his greatness.

Moore compared this kind of inflation to plugging a 110-volt coffee maker into 220,000 volts. The ordinary personality cannot contain archetypal voltage. It may briefly look powerful, but underneath there is anxiety, brittleness, and fear of exposure.

His alternative could be summarized in one wonderful sentence:

“The center is in here, and it is not me.”

The center is not a political leader, a father, a spouse, a therapist, or some other admired person. But neither is it my own conscious ego. Psychological maturity comes from forming a relationship with that deeper center without claiming to be it.

That is what gives the mature King both strength and humility.


The King Creates a Cosmos

One of the King’s primary functions is to bring cosmos out of chaos.

By “cosmos,” Moore did not mean rigid control or a world in which everything is forced into place. He meant a living order in which things can develop according to their own nature. The mature King does not need to micromanage every detail. He creates and protects the conditions in which life can flourish.

Moore sometimes used the image of the King dancing the world into being. He discussed the film King David, in which David dances into Jerusalem after the death of Saul, the shadow King. Moore insisted that this was not merely a war dance or an exhibition by a triumphant man. Archetypally, it was a cosmos dance. The King was manifesting the new order before his people.

Elsewhere, Moore spoke of the King trying to “dance Atlantis back to the surface.” I love that image. The mature King is not imposing a lifeless plan upon the world. He senses an order and possibility already waiting beneath the surface and helps bring it into being.

We can see this capacity in ordinary life.

A good father creates a home with enough stability that his children can safely experiment, fail, and become themselves. A good teacher gives a class direction without crushing curiosity. A good supervisor establishes standards while helping employees develop their own judgment. A community leader looks at disorder and asks what structures will allow people to cooperate, contribute, and thrive.

This is guidance without control.

The shadow King cannot do this. Because he has no secure relationship to an inner center, he tries to become the center himself. Everything must pass through him. Information, power, initiative, and approval are centralized. Other people’s independence feels like rebellion.

The mature King asks, “What does this person need in order to grow?”

The shadow King asks, “How do I keep this person dependent upon me?”


The King Sacrifices for the Realm

Moore was emphatic that the essence of Kingship is not privilege. It is sacrifice.

The King carries responsibility for a realm larger than himself. He may enjoy authority and honor, but those exist because he has accepted an obligation to serve and protect the whole. Power and sacrifice belong together.

This gives us a simple way to distinguish mature authority from its counterfeit. When a price must be paid, who pays it?

The mature King is willing to bear the cost required by his responsibility. The shadow King retains the language of sacrifice but selects someone else as the victim. Moore captured it with a darkly comic question: “Who’s the goat?”

The shadow King says, in effect, “Yes, a sacrifice is necessary—and I have decided to sacrifice you.”

We see this in families, workplaces, institutions, and governments. Leaders protect their position while transferring the consequences of their decisions to those with less power. Fathers demand sacrifices from their families that they would never make themselves. Organizations preserve the comfort and reputation of those at the top by treating people below them as expendable.

The mature King understands stewardship. The people, resources, traditions, and institutions placed in his care are not simply his possessions. They have value beyond their usefulness to him.

The shadow King knows only disposable people. He uses them while they serve his needs and discards them when they do not.


The Blessing

Of all Moore’s ideas about the King, his teaching about blessing may be the most moving.

The King sees another person, recognizes what is trying to emerge in him, and offers a blessing that strengthens it. This does not have to involve religious language or a formal ceremony. A blessing may be conveyed through attention, delight, encouragement, confidence, or the simple experience of being taken seriously.

The blessing says:

I see you. You have value. There is something in you worth developing. You have a place in this world.

Moore believed that fathers have a “natural priesthood” in mediating this blessing to their children. A father does not create the child’s worth. He bears witness to it and helps the child experience it as real. For a son, the father’s blessing can help consolidate a secure masculine identity. For a daughter, it can affirm her worth and strengthen her capacity to relate to the masculine without fear or submission.

Sadly, many children never receive that blessing.

Moore argued that there is no emotionally neutral alternative. If the blessing is absent, the child experiences something closer to a curse. He may grow up with a chronic sense that he has no right to be here, that his gifts are insignificant, or that his very presence is burdensome. Depression, purposelessness, compulsive behavior, and substance abuse may become attempts to live with that absence.

Moore’s image of the shadow King is unforgettable. This King may sit on an impressive throne, dressed in flowing robes and a jeweled crown. But when you approach him, he yawns. He looks bored. He may not look at you at all.

That is the inner King mediated by a father who could not delight in his child.

The true King looks at you and sees possibility.


When a Son Begins to Shine

The decisive test of the father’s King energy comes when the child begins to develop power of his own.

Moore described the shadow father as responding to the son’s emerging confidence by “calling in an airstrike.” The son shows a talent, receives praise, speaks with confidence, attracts attention, or begins to think independently. Instead of feeling pride, the father experiences the son’s growth as a threat.

The unspoken message is: “If you grow, I lose.”

The attack may take many forms. The father ridicules the son at the moment he is most pleased with himself. He points out the flaw in every achievement. He competes with him, humiliates him, withdraws affection, or reminds him who is still in charge. The father may believe he is keeping the boy humble when he is actually keeping him small.

This dynamic is not limited to fathers and sons. It occurs whenever someone with power experiences another person’s development as a loss of status. It can appear between mothers and daughters, supervisors and employees, teachers and students, mentors and protégés, or leaders and their potential successors.

That leads to what may be the clearest measure of mature power:

What happens inside us when another person begins to flourish?

The mature King experiences that growth as the fulfillment of his stewardship. The shadow King experiences it as a threat to his throne.


The Tyrant and the Weakling

Moore’s archetypes are never divided into a simple healthy side and one unhealthy side. Their shadows tend to form a polarity.

One pole of shadow Kingship is the Tyrant. The Tyrant dominates, humiliates, exploits, and attacks emerging life. He must remain the only genuine center of power. He therefore surrounds himself with dependents, admirers, and people too divided or frightened to challenge him.

Yet the Tyrant is not strong. His domination grows out of insecurity. He knows, at some level, that he is masquerading as the true King. That is why he requires constant confirmation and reacts so violently to criticism, independence, or ridicule.

The other pole is the Weakling, who avoids responsibility and waits for someone else to provide order. The Weakling may appear modest or helpless, but Moore saw a hidden grandiosity in dependency. The inner position can be: “I would be a King, but the price is too high. Someone else should study, decide, work, risk, and sacrifice for me.”

This can become manipulative. Helplessness recruits others to carry the responsibilities the person refuses to claim.

The Tyrant and Weakling often find one another. One needs subjects; the other wants someone else to take charge. Together they create a system in which neither becomes mature.

Moore’s description of codependency was characteristically blunt: it is an agreement that neither person will grow up.


The King and the Queen

The mature King does not rule alone.

At the deepest level of the psyche, Moore saw the King and Queen as a royal pair. Mature relationship requires two genuine centers of power, each capable of blessing and strengthening the other. A healthy man does not need a diminished woman in order to feel like a man. A healthy woman does not need a diminished man in order to feel powerful.

The shadow King does not want an empowered Queen. He wants consorts—people who admire, serve, soothe, and orbit him without possessing a comparable center of their own. The shadow Queen has the same difficulty with an empowered King.

When the royal couple fails, families often form triangles. A mother dissatisfied with the father may recruit a son as her champion or emotional partner. A father dissatisfied with the mother may draw a daughter into a similar role. The child receives a kind of special status, but at a terrible cost: he or she is pulled out of the proper generational place and enlisted in an adult struggle.

Moore joked that what the world might need was “celestial mythic marital therapy”—Zeus and Hera learning to get along. Behind the humor was a serious insight. Human beings have imagined powerful Kings and Queens for millennia, but we have had much more trouble imagining the two fully empowered and mutually blessing one another.

The task is not for one to triumph over the other. It is for both to become whole enough to share power.


There Are No Warriors Without the King

Moore’s four archetypes are distinct, but they are meant to work together.

This becomes especially important when we consider the Warrior. Warrior energy gives us discipline, courage, decisiveness, endurance, and the ability to confront what must be confronted. But force by itself is morally directionless. It can serve justice or cruelty, protection or conquest.

The King provides the transpersonal values that tell the Warrior what is worth defending.

Moore put it beautifully: “There are mercenaries without the King, but there are no Warriors.”

A mercenary fights for reward, excitement, status, or whoever happens to be paying. The mature Warrior serves a moral realm—a community, a sacred obligation, the vulnerable, the future, or a vision of justice that reaches beyond personal gratification.

People sometimes speak of the Rainbow Warrior. Moore reminded them that there can be no Rainbow Warrior without a Rainbow King.

Without the King, strength easily becomes aggression. With the King, strength becomes service.


What Are You Doing With Your King Projection?

The final lecture in Moore’s series turned toward a practical problem. Premodern societies had visible kings, sacred rituals, and religious worlds in which royal projections could be lodged. Modern people killed or deposed their kings and often congratulated themselves for having outgrown the need.

But eliminating monarchy did not eliminate the archetype.

The King projection simply found new homes: presidents, political movements, celebrities, therapists, religious leaders, romantic partners, and sometimes the ego itself.

Moore therefore did not ask whether we project the King. He asked, “What are you doing with your King projection?”

That question matters because idealization contains a dangerous ambivalence. When we elevate a human being to godlike status, we inevitably begin to hate him for failing to be God. Adoration can turn rapidly into rage. The person who was expected to save us becomes the person blamed for every disappointment.

Moore’s goal was not to destroy the projection but to recognize it, withdraw it from its human carrier, and form a conscious relationship with its archetypal source.

He suggested several ways of doing this.

We can study the myths, rituals, images, and history of kingship. We can examine the lives of men who carried King energy in both its mature and shadow forms. We can pay attention to dreams. We can use prayer or religious ritual if those traditions remain meaningful to us. Prayer, Moore joked, is helpful with grandiosity because “it is kind of hard to think you’re God if you’re talking to it.”

He also recommended Jung’s practice of active imagination: entering into a deliberate inner dialogue with an image or figure from the unconscious.

Imagine seeking the inner King. Where does he live? Can you find the room? Is the throne empty? Does the King welcome you, ignore you, threaten you, or look bored? What does he see in you? What does he ask of you? What blessing have you been seeking from an earthly father, teacher, leader, or partner that no human being has been able to provide?

Moore did not present this as make-believe or as theology that one must accept. He treated it as an experiment in psychological experience. “The plumbing’s there,” he said. “The wiring’s there.” See what you encounter.


The Gift of Vocation

The blessing of the King does more than help a person feel good about himself. It gives value, direction, and vocation.

Moore spoke of the successful lawyer who earns plenty of money but remains chronically depressed. Achievement has provided status but not meaning. The person may then turn to cocaine, alcohol, sexual conquest, spending, or relentless work in an attempt to produce the vitality that success failed to deliver.

The King connects us with values larger than ourselves. It is the part of the psyche that asks what our life is for. It gives us concern for the public world, for justice, for children we may never meet, and even for the rainforest. Without some connection to that larger order, everything is reduced to private appetite and personal advantage.

The King gives us a Vocation with a capital V.

That does not mean everyone must become famous, wealthy, or powerful. Vocation may be expressed in raising a child well, caring for a piece of land, practicing a craft with integrity, protecting a community, teaching, healing, building, or quietly keeping faith with a responsibility that matters.

The question is not, “How important do I look?”

It is, “What has been placed in my care?”


The King Is Still Needed

Our culture is rightly suspicious of domination. We know too much about tyrants, abusive fathers, corrupt institutions, and leaders who demand sacrifice from everyone but themselves. But Moore warned against confusing the pathology of masculinity with masculinity itself.

The shadow of the King is not evidence that we should live without King energy. It is evidence of what happens when that energy remains unconscious, inflated, wounded, or absent.

We need men—and women—who can create order without becoming controlling, exercise authority without needing worship, accept sacrifice rather than selecting victims, and experience the growth of others as a source of joy.

We need fathers who look at their sons and daughters and say, in a hundred ordinary ways, “I see you. I delight in you. Your gifts do not diminish me. Go become who you are.”

We need leaders who do not make themselves the center of the realm. We need mentors who prepare their students to surpass them. We need men whose strength is governed by a moral purpose and whose care does not become control.

Most of all, we need to stop asking other human beings to carry the full weight of our longing for the King.

Moore’s teaching returns us to that central paradox:

The center is within, but it is not the ego.

When a man knows this, he no longer needs the world to kneel before him. He can use his strength to create order, bear responsibility, protect what has value, and bless the life growing around him.

That is the King within.

Men Are Good.

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September 24, 2026
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​More Manosphere Madness
How scholars constructed a vast male supremacist ecosystem and then proposed controlling it

 

 

I recently read a paper titled Mapping the Neo-Manosphere(s): New Directions for Research, published in Men and Masculinities. It was quite an experience.

The authors—Vivian Gerrand, Debbie Ging, Joshua M. Roose, and Michael Flood—describe what they call the “neo-manosphere,” an enormous collection of online communities, personalities, political views, and self-improvement practices supposedly united by misogyny and male supremacy.

As I read, I kept waiting for the evidence. And waiting.

Where were the statements demonstrating the misogyny being described? Where were the representative quotations? Where were the arguments presented in enough detail that readers could evaluate them for themselves? Where was the distinction between hatred of women, criticism of feminism, advocacy for men, political disagreement, traditional beliefs, and ordinary male self-improvement?

For the most part, those things never appeared.

Instead, the paper offered an intricate academic portrait of a dangerous ideological ecosystem. Nearly every form of male-oriented dissent, vulnerability, or self-help could be positioned somewhere inside it or along its borders. Then, near the end, the authors became quite serious about intervention and control.

That is where the paper becomes much more than a questionable academic exercise.


The Conclusion Appears in the Definition

The paper begins by defining the manosphere as an online ecosystem of anti-women actors. In the introduction, it becomes a collection of anti-feminist and male-supremacist groups.

Those are not conclusions reached after the evidence is presented. They are built into the definition of what is being studied.

This matters because antifeminism is not the same thing as misogyny. A person can disagree with feminist theories, oppose feminist organizations, criticize feminist policies, or document harms produced by feminist advocacy without hating women or believing that men should rule over them.

Yet the paper repeatedly allows these categories to bleed into one another. Anti-feminism becomes adjacent to misogyny. Misogyny becomes adjacent to male supremacy. Male supremacy becomes adjacent to violent extremism. Once this chain has been constructed, a person need not advocate violence or express hatred toward women to be placed somewhere within the threatening manosphere.

The classification does the work that evidence ordinarily would have to do.


A Map With Very Few Exhibits

The paper does refer to some ​q​uestionable material. It mentions Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes, and deepfake pornography. I can see how some folks might label some of this as misogyny.

But this paper ranges far beyond those examples.

It includes or draws into the orbit of the manosphere men’s rights advocates, Men Going Their Own Way, Christian conservatives, dating coaches, Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Ryan Holiday, Lex Fridman, David Goggins, Jocko Willink, NoFap communities, wellness advocates, evolutionary psychologists, psychotherapists working with boys, tradwives, and female antifeminists.

What particular belief makes all these people part of one male-supremacist ecosystem?

They don’t say.

The authors identified 430 articles about the manosphere published since 2019 and drew upon approximately 100 of them. They say they selected recent publications to keep their map current. But they do not give us a systematic account of why those 100 were chosen, what evidence standards were applied, how conflicting findings were handled, or how the quality of the selected studies was assessed.

Most importantly, the paper seldom brings the primary material into view. Readers are generally told what another scholar concluded about an online community. We are then given a citation to that conclusion.

A citation may tell us where an assertion came from. It does not by itself prove that the assertion is correct.


When Repetition Becomes Evidence

The paper contains an impressive number of references. But citations are not necessarily independent evidence.

Much of the literature comes from scholars working within the same feminist and critical-masculinities framework. They frequently use similar definitions, begin with similar assumptions, and reach similar conclusions. One scholar classifies a community as misogynistic. Another scholar cites that classification. A third cites both papers as evidence that a scholarly consensus has developed.

Eventually, an interpretation acquires the appearance of fact through repetition.

The process works something like this:

  1. A contested interpretation is introduced.

  2. Like-minded scholars cite it approvingly.

  3. Later papers cite the growing literature rather than examining the original material.

  4. Repetition is treated as independent confirmation.

  5. The resulting “consensus” is used to justify intervention.

There is nothing inherently wrong with scholars citing one another. That is how knowledge develops. The problem arises when the scholars share the same ideological premises and rarely test their interpretations against primary evidence or competing explanations.

We see the same process in the news media. One outlet publishes a claim. Other outlets repeat it. Commentators then report that numerous sources have confirmed the story. But when the chain is followed backward, the apparent confirmation may lead to the same original assertion.

​S​ay something often and people will eventually start believing you.

The paper does not so much map the manosphere as map what a network of similar-thinking scholars has said about the manosphere. The difference is enormous.


When Male Suffering Becomes Further Evidence Against Men

One of the most troubling features of the paper is the way it treats male suffering.

The authors describe theories suggesting that some men strategically adopt the language of victimhood and suffering to conceal existing systems of male power. That creates an almost perfect closed system.

If men express confidence or authority, that can be read as male supremacy. If men describe pain or disadvantage, their suffering can be interpreted as a performance designed to restore male supremacy.

What evidence could possibly prove the theory wrong?

Boys’ educational problems, male suicide, fatherlessness, workplace deaths, family-court experiences, loneliness, economic displacement, and men’s loss of social purpose receive little consideration as problems with standing of their own. Male distress matters mainly because dangerous influencers may exploit it.

The possibility that men might have legitimate grievances is never allowed to reorganize the analysis. Their suffering enters the model as another part of the pathway toward misogyny.

Imagine treating women’s suffering this way. Imagine an academic paper arguing that women describe victimization strategically to conceal female power and obtain greater institutional control. The authors would rightly be asked for extraordinary evidence. Not hard to imagine, is it?

Men are granted no such presumption of sincerity.


Self-Improvement Becomes a Radicalization Pathway

The paper is particularly suspicious of male self-improvement.

Physical fitness, discipline, purpose, Stoicism, financial advice, pornography avoidance, and wellness practices are treated as possible entry points into male-supremacist spaces. Even content carrying ordinary labels such as motivation, mindset, and money is described as potentially directing boys toward dangerous material.

Certainly, some influencers exploit insecure followers. Some sell worthless programs, make irresponsible health claims, or deliberately intensify fear to keep an audience engaged. This is hardly unique to men’s media. The internet is overflowing with wellness grifts, financial fantasies, political panic, and products marketed through insecurity.

But the authors do not treat exploitation as a general problem within the attention economy. They construct a particularly male ideological danger. Helping men develop strength, confidence, discipline, and purpose becomes suspect because it might “re-masculinise” them rather than lead them toward the authors’ preferred understanding of masculinity.

The paper even contrasts some evolutionary psychologists and psychotherapists working with boys with approaches grounded in social-constructionist and intersectional principles. The underlying assumption appears to be that social constructionism and intersectionality provide the only legitimate ways to understand men, boys, and the world around us.

That is not a neutral concern about hateful content. It is a dispute over which theory of men should be institutionally approved.


From Description to Control

Near the end, the paper moves from describing the manosphere to proposing what should be done about it.

The authors support educational interventions, disengagement programs, gender instruction, critical digital literacy, and broader structural responses. They then write:

Structural interventions must therefore include policy reforms that address not just content moderation, but also the architecture of virality, algorithmic bias, and platform accountability.

That sentence deserves much more scrutiny than the authors give it.


Architecture of virality

The architecture of virality consists of the systems that allow material to spread: recommendation engines, trending lists, hashtags, reposting, automatic playback, notifications, engagement-based ranking, and monetization.

Changing that architecture can mean slowing the spread of material the platform considers harmful. Content may remain technically available while being excluded from recommendations, search results, trending lists, or monetization. It has not been formally banned. It has merely been made nearly impossible to find.

That is censorship with softer edges and less public accountability.


Algorithmic bias

Algorithms often reward sensational or inflammatory material because outrage generates engagement. Examining that problem is entirely reasonable.

But what counts as the bias, and what would count as its correction?

Within the framework of this paper, the problem appears to be that algorithms recommend material the authors have classified as misogynistic, male supremacist, reactionary, or manosphere-adjacent. Correcting the algorithm would presumably mean turning it away from those ideas and toward content considered inclusive, social-constructionist, and intersectional.

In other words, the algorithm would be adjusted toward the authors’ preferred ideology.

Platform accountability

Platform accountability sounds reassuring. Platforms should enforce clear rules against threats, targeted harassment, doxing, and illegal activity. They should explain their policies and provide meaningful appeals.

But the paper employs categories far more elastic than threats or illegal conduct. What would platforms be held accountable for suppressing? Misogyny? Anti-feminism? Male supremacy? Traditional beliefs? Evolutionary explanations of sex differences? Criticism of feminist organizations? Male-oriented therapy? Stoicism? Advocacy for fathers?

The authors never establish a reliable boundary.

And they never answer the essential question:

Who decides?

Would it be technology companies, government regulators, feminist advocacy organizations, academics, fact-checkers, or privately funded extremism researchers? What evidence would they require? Could their decisions be appealed? Would the standards be public? Would criticism of feminism remain protected? Would identical standards apply to hatred directed toward men?

The paper does not tell us.


Apply the Same Standard to Feminism

The easiest way to expose the problem is to apply the paper’s method to feminism.

Imagine beginning a study by defining feminism as an online ​misandrist ecosystem of anti-male actors. Imagine grouping together radical feminists, mainstream women’s organizations, feminist journalists, gender-studies departments, female separatists, lifestyle influencers, abortion activists, and women who post angrily about dating.

Imagine treating female claims of suffering as strategic performances designed to conceal women’s institutional power. Imagine describing women’s wellness and empowerment content as possible gateways into misandry. Imagine tracing every shared citation, hyperlink, podcast appearance, and social-media recommendation as evidence of ideological cross-pollination.

Then imagine recommending disengagement programs, educational interventions, content moderation, algorithmic correction, and upstream regulation of the digital environment.

The methodology would immediately be condemned as guilt by association.

And yet finding direct expressions of feminist hostility toward men would not be difficult. Many feminist writers and activists have described men as violent, defective, dangerous, unnecessary, or collectively responsible for women’s suffering. Such statements have appeared in books, classrooms, journalism, advocacy, and popular culture. They are often defended as provocative social criticism rather than treated as gateways to extremism.

I am not suggesting that feminist speech should be suppressed. I am asking whether the people demanding controls on male-oriented speech would accept their own rules if those rules were applied evenly.

If they would not, they are not proposing a neutral system for controlling hatred. They are proposing ideological control.


Show Us the Evidence Before You Control the Conversation

There is misogyny online. There are men who say hateful things about women. There are disturbed communities, exploitative influencers, and individuals who encourage violence. Specific threats and specific acts should be confronted directly.

But none of that grants scholars permission to collapse an enormous range of men, beliefs, and communities into a single male-supremacist ecosystem.

Before regulating an ideology, we should require those proposing the regulation to define it clearly, identify who actually holds it, present representative primary evidence, distinguish hatred of women from criticism of feminism, and demonstrate that the proposed intervention targets harmful conduct rather than political disagreement.

This paper does not meet that standard.

It begins with a loaded definition, gathers a network of mutually reinforcing citations, treats male suffering as potentially deceptive, stretches the manosphere across an astonishing range of people and practices, and then invokes the resulting academic consensus to justify intervention into the systems that determine which ideas may spread.

The process is circular but effective:

First create the category. Then fill it with everyone you distrust. Cite colleagues who use the same category. Call the repetition a consensus. Finally, use that consensus to regulate the people placed inside it.

That is not simply mapping an online world.

It is constructing a threat—and then requesting the power to control it.​ Can you sense the desperation?


The paper discussed is Vivian Gerrand, Debbie Ging, Joshua M. Roose, and Michael Flood, “Mapping the Neo-Manosphere(s): New Directions for Research,” Men and Masculinities 28, no. 5 (2025): 443–464. https://doi.org/10.1177/1097184X251350277

Men Are Good.

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September 21, 2026
The Four Powers of the Mature Masculine
An introduction to Robert Moore’s King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover

 

 

 


I met Robert Moore only once, but I fell in love with him.

That may sound like an unusual way to introduce a psychological theorist. But anyone who heard Moore teach will probably understand what I mean. He had a strong Southern drawl, an enormous personality, and a gift for taking difficult psychological ideas and making them feel immediate and alive. He would move from Carl Jung to an old myth, from a clinical observation to a story about ordinary life, and then—often enough—to a reference to Jack Daniel’s.

You never had the sense that the archetypes were dry concepts to him. They were living realities. He saw them at work in families, marriages, therapy offices, universities, churches, corporations, political movements, and the private struggles of men trying to grow up.

Many years ago, I purchased a collection of Moore’s audiotapes on the masculine archetypes. I listened to them repeatedly and found them profoundly helpful, both personally and in my work as a psychotherapist. The books Moore wrote with Douglas Gillette—particularly King, Warrior, Magician, Lover—present the basic architecture of the model. But the recordings are different.

Much of this series draws from approximately twenty-seven hours of recordings from Moore’s graduate classes on the masculine archetypes. In those classes he had room to think aloud, answer questions, wander down unexpected paths, tell stories, make jokes, and show how the different parts of his theory fit together. The result is more personal, expansive, and sometimes more revealing than the published books.

These articles are my attempt to introduce that richer Moore to a new audience.

Before we meet the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover, however, we need to understand what Moore meant by an archetype.


What Is an Archetype?

An archetype is not a personality type.

The four archetypes are not four categories into which men can be sorted. This is not a masculine version of a personality quiz in which you discover that you are “a Warrior” while your friend is “a Lover.” Nor are archetypes prescribed social roles or stereotypes telling men how they are supposed to behave.

An archetype is a deep human pattern—an organizing potential within the psyche that shapes how we perceive, experience, and express a particular form of energy.

The King organizes, blesses, and creates order.

The Warrior acts, protects, establishes boundaries, and gets difficult things done.

The Lover connects, values, grieves, delights, and experiences the world through the senses.

The Magician observes, interprets, understands, and guides transformation.

Every man carries the potential for all four.

We may have easy access to one and very little access to another. One may be welcomed by our family while another is shamed. We may express an archetype maturely in one situation and fall into its shadow in another. We may be disciplined and courageous at work yet unable to establish a boundary with someone we love. We may be a wise guide to other people but incapable of applying the same wisdom to ourselves.

The goal is not to determine which archetype we are. The goal is to develop a conscious relationship with all four and gradually bring their powers into cooperation.

Moore was also careful to distinguish between connecting with an archetype and identifying with it. A man can connect with King energy, but he is not the King. He can draw upon the Warrior, but he is not the archetypal Warrior. These energies are larger than the individual ego.

When a man receives their power while remaining aware of his human limits, the archetype can enlarge his life. But when his ego begins to believe that it is the archetypal power, inflation follows. He may become convinced that he alone knows the truth, that ordinary rules do not apply to him, or that other people exist to admire, obey, or serve him.

Healthy contact with an archetype gives us power. Identification with it makes us grandiose.

Maturity therefore requires more than awakening these energies. It requires learning to contain, balance, and steward them.


Psychology’s Missing Question

As far as I know, Robert Moore is the only major psychological theorist who attempted such a sustained and systematic examination of the mature masculine.

Psychology has produced libraries about what is wrong with men. It has studied male aggression, violence, narcissism, emotional restriction, risk-taking, sexual pathology, criminality, and failure. Some of that work is necessary and valuable. Men, like women, have shadows that must be understood.

But pathology is not a vision of maturity.

It is one thing to tell men what they must stop doing. It is quite another to help them understand what they might become.

Where is the psychological literature describing mature male authority that does not become domination? Where is the account of aggression transformed into courage, discipline, and protection? Where do we find male sexuality joined with wonder, grief, tenderness, and appreciation? Where is knowledge transformed into initiation, healing, and service?

Moore asked these questions.

Instead of beginning with the assumption that masculine power itself was the problem, he asked what each power looked like when it was immature, wounded, inflated, or properly developed. He did not deny the destructive possibilities within men. On the contrary, he examined them closely. But he refused to confuse the shadow of masculinity with masculinity itself.

That distinction is badly needed today.

Years ago, I raised Moore’s work with a group of members of Division 51 of the American Psychological Association—the division devoted to the psychological study of men and masculinities. Not one person present was familiar with it.

I found that astonishing. Here was an extensive psychological model devoted to mature masculine development, and it was largely unknown within the professional organization created to study men.

Perhaps it should not have been surprising. Our culture has become much better at describing harmful male behavior than at giving boys and men a positive image of what their strength, aggression, sexuality, authority, and intelligence are for.

But we cannot help boys grow into mature men if we possess no serious image of mature masculinity.

Moore gave us one.


Four Powers, Not Four Boxes

Moore’s model begins with four basic configurations of masculine energy.

The King is the center that creates order. He offers blessing, holds a vision of the whole, calms chaos, and uses his authority to help others develop. His mature power is not control for its own sake but generativity—the capacity to create a world in which life can flourish.

The Warrior brings disciplined action. He recognizes enemies, establishes boundaries, endures hardship, and places his strength in service of something beyond comfort or self-interest. The mature Warrior is not violent for the pleasure of violence. He knows what must be protected and what is worth sacrificing for.

The Lover awakens us to value. He experiences beauty, pleasure, sorrow, sexuality, nature, music, friendship, and the astonishing particularity of another person. The Lover is the part of us that knows why the world is worth protecting in the first place.

The Magician understands the map. He sees beneath appearances, breaks through denial, interprets symbols, recognizes which energy a situation requires, and helps people move through transformation. At his highest level, knowledge becomes healing and stewardship.

None is sufficient alone.

The King without the Magician may become certain of his own authority and unable to recognize his self-deception. The Magician without the King may see through everything but believe in nothing. The Warrior without the Lover may become brutal, while the Lover without the Warrior may be unable to protect what he loves. The King needs the Warrior’s capacity to act, the Lover’s capacity to value, and the Magician’s capacity to discern.

Maturity does not eliminate the tensions among these powers. It helps us hold them consciously so that each can correct and complete the others.


Every Archetype Has a Shadow

Moore’s work is not a celebration of masculine power without qualification. Each archetype has shadow forms.

The King’s authority may inflate into tyranny or collapse into weakness. The Warrior’s discipline may become cruelty or turn inward as masochistic self-destruction. The Lover’s capacity for connection may become addiction and boundarylessness or disappear into numbness and impotence. The Magician’s insight may become manipulation, cynical detachment, or the denial of knowledge and responsibility.

These opposites are often closer than they appear. The Tyrant may conceal a terrified Weakling. The man who dominates others may feel inwardly powerless. The compulsive Lover may alternate between overstimulation and deadness. The detached Magician may secretly depend upon others to carry the emotional life he refuses to enter.

Moore’s model is therefore not a simple theory of four positive qualities. It is a dynamic system filled with developmental levels, opposing shadows, characteristic inflations, inner conflicts, and relationships among the archetypes.

His understanding also evolved. In the lectures, Moore sometimes questioned earlier formulations, distinguished one archetype from another more carefully, and explored ideas that never received the same space in his books. He was building a map of enormous territory, and he knew the map was unfinished.

This series cannot offer an exhaustive account of that territory. These articles cannot contain the complexity of twenty-seven hours of teaching, much less the larger body of Moore’s work.

What follows is an overview—a way of opening four doors.


The Boy, the Hero, and the Man

One of Moore’s most important distinctions was between boy psychology and mature masculine psychology.

The boy is not bad. Boyhood contains imagination, daring, play, idealism, and enormous potential. But the boy’s energies are not yet organized around adult responsibility. They easily become grandiose: the fantasy that he is invulnerable, uniquely important, exempt from limits, or destined for greatness without apprenticeship and sacrifice.

Moore regarded the Hero as primarily a boyhood pattern. The Hero’s great task is not to remain heroic forever. It is to confront his own grandiosity, accept his limitations, and grow up.

Only then can he become a mature Warrior.

This is a crucial correction to the way these ideas are often simplified. The Warrior is not merely a stronger Hero. The Hero fights in large part to establish himself. The mature Warrior has less need to prove himself because his energy has been placed in service.

The same developmental movement appears in all four archetypes. Immature energy asks, “How powerful does this make me?” Mature energy asks, “What is this power for?”

That question—what is it for?—runs through Moore’s entire model.

Authority is for blessing and creating order. Aggression is for protecting, separating, and acting. Sexual and emotional vitality are for relationship, appreciation, and participation in life. Knowledge is for discernment, initiation, and healing.

Power reaches maturity through stewardship.


Why These Ideas Matter Now

Many men today have been given an extensive vocabulary for their possible defects and almost no language for their healthy development.

They hear about toxic masculinity, male privilege, emotional restriction, dominance, violence, and entitlement. Again, harmful behavior deserves honest attention. But a boy cannot build an identity entirely from instructions about what not to become.

He needs to know what his strength is for.

He needs an image of authority that blesses rather than dominates; aggression that protects rather than abuses; sexuality that connects rather than consumes; knowledge that heals rather than manipulates.

He also needs permission to see these capacities as genuinely masculine without being told that masculinity is either inherently dangerous or merely an arbitrary costume imposed upon him.

Moore offered a language capable of holding masculine power and masculine shadow at the same time. He neither romanticized men nor reduced them to their failures.

That balance may be his greatest contribution.


Entering the Four Rooms

We will begin with the King, because the King supplies the center. Without some connection to calm, blessing, responsibility, and just order, the other energies easily become chaotic or destructive.

We will then meet the Warrior, whose discipline turns intention into action and whose boundaries protect what matters.

Next comes the Lover, who opens the garden of beauty, connection, grief, sexuality, and delight—the world the Warrior is asked to defend.

Finally, we will meet the Magician, keeper of the map and guide to transformation. The Magician brings the fourfold pattern into view and helps us understand how the powers work together.

These articles will include material from Moore’s books, but they will also draw deeply from the recorded classes in which his voice, humor, and humanity are most present. My hope is not merely to summarize his theory. It is to let readers feel something of what I experienced listening to those tapes years ago: the sense that these ancient patterns could illuminate an ordinary life.

Moore helped me see that mature masculinity is not a fixed destination and certainly not a performance of invulnerability. It is an ongoing relationship with powerful inner potentials—each capable of serving life, each capable of falling into shadow, and none capable of maturing alone.

The four archetypes give us a map.

They do not tell us exactly where our journey will lead. But they may help us recognize the room we are standing in, the power we have forgotten, and the next door that needs to be opened.

We will start the series next Monday.

Men Are Good.

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