MenAreGood
Accountability 2: What Equal Accountability Would Actually Look Like
Does Gynocentrism Masquerade as Justice?
January 29, 2026
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What Equal Accountability Would Look Like in Practice

If accountability were truly equalized, several familiar institutions would begin to look—and behave—very differently.



Therapy Would Stop Pathologizing Male Restraint

Today, many men enter therapy already on the defensive.

A man who pauses before speaking, who thinks before he feels, who regulates himself under stress is often labeled avoidant, emotionally unavailable, or disconnected. His restraint is treated as pathology rather than capacity.

Meanwhile, emotional flooding, volatility, or verbal escalation—more often expressed by women—are framed as authenticity, trauma responses, or justified expressions of pain.

Equal accountability would mean: Therapy would stop trying to turn men into more emotionally verbal women—and start helping couples understand different but equally valid regulation styles.



Schools Would Begin to Recognize Female Aggression and Social Cruelty

In schools, aggression is still defined almost entirely in male terms.

Boys who shove, yell, or act out are disciplined.
Girls who exclude, humiliate, gossip, provoke, manipulate friendships, or orchestrate social punishment are often ignored—or worse, excused as “drama.”

Teachers routinely intervene in boys’ conflicts while dismissing girls’ relational aggression as normal social behavior.

Equal accountability would mean:

  • Recognizing ostracism, rumor-spreading, and reputational harm as real aggression

  • Intervening when girls weaponize friendships or authority

  • Teaching that cruelty doesn’t require physical force to be damaging

  • Holding girls to the same behavioral standards of fairness and restraint

This wouldn’t punish girls.
It would protect children—especially quieter boys who are often invisible victims.



Workplace Policies Would Acknowledge Relational Aggression

Most workplace harassment policies are built around overt misconduct: yelling, threats, sexual advances.

What they rarely address is relational aggression:

  • Undermining colleagues through insinuation

  • Using complaints as leverage

  • Social exclusion and coalition-building

  • Reputational sabotage framed as “concerns”

Men are often blindsided by HR actions because they don’t recognize these tactics as aggression until it’s too late.

Equal accountability would mean:

  • Scrutinizing patterns of complaint-making, not just the accused

  • Distinguishing harm from discomfort

  • Requiring evidence rather than emotional assertion

  • Acknowledging that social power can be weaponized quietly

A fair workplace doesn’t protect feelings at the expense of truth.
It protects process.



Media Narratives Would Stop Moral Typecasting

Our media runs on a familiar script:

Men are agents.
Women are victims.

When men do harm, it’s framed as character.
When women do harm, it’s framed as context, trauma, or reaction.

Female wrongdoing is softened.
Male wrongdoing is essentialized.

Equal accountability would mean:

  • Reporting women’s abuse, coercion, and manipulation without euphemism

  • Allowing men to be complex without default suspicion

  • Ending the reflexive framing of women as morally passive

  • Assess harm by power and leverage, not gender.

Only then could we speak honestly about female power—social, emotional, institutional—without pretending it doesn’t exist.



Why This Matters

A culture that refuses to hold women accountable does not elevate women.

It keeps them morally frozen—protected, but not respected.

And it leaves men carrying responsibility without authority, regulation without recognition, and restraint without credit.

Equal accountability wouldn’t erase difference.

It would finally allow truth to replace myth—and adulthood to replace ideology.

Where the Accountability Gap Becomes Impossible to Ignore

The absence of equal accountability isn’t just theoretical. It shows up most starkly in the places where power, fear, and consequences converge—domestic violence systems, family courts, and criminal sentencing.

These are not edge cases.
They are the places where unequal accountability changes lives.



Domestic Violence: When Relational Aggression Is Erased

Domestic violence is often framed as a simple morality play: violent men, endangered women.

But anyone who has worked clinically with couples—or listened carefully to men—knows the reality is more complex.

Relational aggression frequently plays a role in violent episodes:

  • Chronic shaming

  • Threats of abandonment or child loss

  • Provocation followed by moral reversal

  • Escalation without physical contact until a breaking point is reached

None of this excuses violence.
But ignoring it prevents understanding.

Yet domestic violence services are almost entirely gynocentric—built on the assumption that women are victims and men are perpetrators. Services for men are rare, underfunded, or nonexistent. Male pain is treated as either irrelevant or dangerous to acknowledge.

Equal accountability would mean:

  • Acknowledging relational aggression as part of the violence ecosystem

  • Offering services for male victims—not as an afterthought, but as a necessity

  • Providing off-ramps before desperation turns into catastrophe

  • Replacing ideology with reality

A system that cannot see male suffering cannot prevent violence.
It can only react after it’s too late.



Family Courts: Presumed Guilt, Invisible Loss

Family courts operate on one of the most damaging accountability asymmetries in modern life.

Men are routinely presumed responsible—even when they have done nothing wrong.

Fathers are:

  • Separated from their children without evidence of harm

  • Treated as risks rather than resources

  • Required to prove innocence rather than have wrongdoing proven

  • Held accountable for outcomes they do not control

Women, by contrast, are rarely held accountable for:

  • Gatekeeping

  • False or exaggerated allegations

  • Alienation behaviors

  • Using the system itself as leverage

Equal accountability would mean:

  • Evidence-based decisions rather than gendered assumptions

  • Consequences for false allegations

  • Recognition of children’s need for fathers as a developmental necessity

  • Treating parenting as a shared responsibility, not a maternal entitlement

When courts fail to hold women accountable, children lose fathers—not because those men are dangerous, but because the system cannot imagine female misuse of power.



Criminal Courts: The Sentencing Gap No One Wants to Discuss

In criminal courts, the accountability gap becomes numerical—and undeniable.

Women receive significantly lighter sentences than men for the same crimes. Judges routinely cite:

  • Caretaking roles

  • Emotional distress

  • Perceived vulnerability

  • Likelihood of rehabilitation

Men committing identical offenses are treated as more dangerous, more culpable, and more disposable.

Equal accountability would require:

  • Sentencing based on behavior, not gender

  • Acknowledging that harm caused matters more than who caused it

  • Ending the practice of moral leniency rooted in infantilization

Holding women accountable in criminal courts wouldn’t be anti-woman.
It would be pro-justice.



The Throughline

In each of these systems, the same pattern appears:

  • Male power is exaggerated

  • Female power is denied

  • Male suffering is moralized

  • Female suffering is absolutized

This isn’t compassion.
It’s gynocentrism masquerading as justice.

A culture that cannot hold women accountable must distort reality to survive.
And those distortions accumulate—until families break, violence escalates, and trust erodes.

Equal accountability wouldn’t solve every problem.

But it would finally allow us to see clearly—and act like adults in the places where it matters most.

Men Are Good.

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This isn’t an argument against women’s health. It’s an argument for evidence, fairness, and a healthier future for everyone.

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Janice Fiamengo’s new book is out, and this excerpt from the Foreword gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect. Janice goes straight to the heart of feminism and gives ample reasons for its demolition.

This is an important book. I hope you’ll get a copy for yourself—and maybe send one to someone who is even a little bit open to seeing the reality of feminism rather than the equality mask presented by feminists and so much of the media.

https://fiamengofile.substack.com/p/feminism-cannot-be-reformed

Well worth watch it’s good seeing men calling out women’s bull shit when the same women are not use to fair honest responses!

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From Shooter to Heroine: The Glorification of Feminist Violence

I recently joined Hannah Spier, Janice Fiamengo, and Jim Nuzzo for a fascinating discussion about one of our culture’s most striking double standards: why violence by women is so often explained, excused, or even celebrated, while violence by men is treated very differently. We examine Valerie Solanas, the attempted murder of Andy Warhol, the SCUM Manifesto, and the film I Shot Andy Warhol, asking what the celebration and romanticizing of Solanas reveals about gynocentrism, empathy, and cultural bias. I think you’ll find it both thought-provoking and eye-opening.

August 13, 2026
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What If Schools Are Missing the Brightest Boys?



What If Schools Are Missing the Brightest Boys?

We are starting to hear more these days about boys who struggle in school, boys who can’t sit still, or fall behind in reading. This is bringing to light that all too often schools are not built for boys.

But recently I started thinking about the other end of the spectrum. What if schools aren’t just failing some of the boys who struggle? What if they’re also missing some of the brightest boys?

The Variability Hypothesis

Researchers have pointed out for years what they call the greater male variability hypothesis. What this means is that on average, men and women score about the same on measures of intelligence. But males tend to show greater variability and outnumber women at both the low and high ends. This means you will find more boys with significantly low IQ’s but also more boys with very high IQ’s. This tells us that based on this variability hypothesis, boys are likely to outnumber the girls in the upper regions of IQ.

A School Built for the Average Child

That realization led me to another thought. If boys are naturally more variable, then a school system designed for the average child will fail boys at both ends of the spectrum. Think about it. The struggling boy needs something different from the average classroom. So does the exceptionally gifted boy. Yet schools often become increasingly standardized and focused on bringing everyone toward the middle. The children who are furthest from average—whether below or above—are often the ones who receive less. The boys predominate at both ends.

Why Might Boys Gifts be Overlooked?

People who are gifted often do things that may encourage ordinary teachers to overlook them. Things like:

  • become bored with repetitive work

  • finish assignments quickly and then appear inattentive

  • question teachers

  • refuse busywork

  • focus intensely on a narrow interest while neglecting other subjects

Some of these behaviors may not look like giftedness. They may look like inattentiveness, defiance, laziness, or simply a ​s​tudent who isn’t doing what he is supposed to do.

That got me wondering. If some gifted boys are being overlooked because they don’t necessarily look like the ideal gifted student, would we see any sign of that in who actually makes it into gifted programs?

But What about the numbers?

The next thing I did was check current enrollment in gifted programs. To my surprise, recent national data from the NCES show that girls now slightly outnumber boys in gifted and talented programs in the US. That was a bit of a surprise. Not because girls aren’t gifted. I am sure some are. But if there are more boys with high IQ’s, shouldn’t we expect more boys than girls among the exceptionally gifted? Equal numbers would already raise an interesting question. A female majority raises an even bigger one.

What are the actual differences?

One source I read said that an IQ of 130+ was the point that many gifted programs consider starting. But what is the sex ratio of boys and girls at the 130+ level? Since we find that more girls are in the gifted programs than boys we would expect more girls, right?

Here’s what I found:

One estimate is that boys outnumber girls at the 130+ IQ level at a ratio of 15:10. This means that for every 100 students who have a 130 IQ or higher you will likely have about 60 boys and 40 girls. As you go higher in IQ it leans farther towards boys. When you reach the 170+ range there are nearly 6 times as many males as females. Here’s a chart that shows these estimates: (the estimates are from AI and I chose a very conservative estimate from chatgpt to include here. I will include Grok and Google below)

 


You can see that boys predominate at the highest genius levels of IQ. Boys and girls are actually quite similar in the normal ranges of IQ, but the boys predominate at both the highest levels and the lowest while the girls cluster more in the middle. But how many boys and girls are likely to have scores above 130?

If we assume the mean to be 100 and a standard deviation of 15 we would expect that about 2.3% of people will have an IQ of 130 or above. Given that estimate at a typical high school that had 1100 students you would likely find about 25 students with 130+ IQ’s. Given our previous estimate of 15:10 we would expect that group to be 15 boys and 10 girls. Clearly more boys than girls.

It is certainly true that there are more factors in choosing students to participate in gifted programs other than iQ, but IQ is a very solid factor and that factor tells us more boys should be included. It does make us wonder about girls outnumbering boys in today’s gifted programs.

Why fewer boys?

Many gifted programs now consider: classroom grades, teacher recommendations, organization, homework completion, classroom participation, work habits, portfolios, and other indicators of academic success. Those are worthwhile qualities but it seems to me that they are indicators of how adjusted someone is to the school and the schoolwork. This is not necessarily the same thing as exceptional cognitive ability. A brilliant boy who is disorganized, restless, bored, inconsistent, or socially awkward may not look gifted inside a modern classroom. Imagine a teacher seeing these sorts of traits, would the teacher see him as gifted? He may simply look difficult. Or distracted. Or immature. His intelligence can easily become hidden behind his behavior. He will likely appear as a problem, not as a candidate for special treatment.

The Question Worth Asking

I do think there is an important question here. Are gifted and talented programs simply not recognizing gifted boys? Are there gifted boys who never get the opportunity offered by these programs? My experience says yes. I remember watching my own children and their friends when in high school. There were numerous special programs for girls including, camps, trips to the NIH, girl only events, and much more, but nothing even close to that for the boys. I watched and saw highly gifted boys who were overlooked for any such treatment. It seems in our attempts to give girls special treatment the boys have suffered.

Perhaps We’ve Been Looking in the Wrong Direction


For years we’ve focused on boys who struggle. We should continue to do that. But perhaps we’ve overlooked another group of boys who also need our attention. The exceptionally gifted. The unconventional thinkers. The boys whose intelligence doesn’t always arrive wrapped in neat handwriting, completed homework, and model classroom behavior. If greater male variability is real—and decades of research say it is—then boys don’t simply present more problems. They also present more extraordinary potential. The challenge for education is not to make every child average. It is to recognize exceptional need wherever it appears. And that includes the children at the very top.

Perhaps the question isn’t whether boys are underrepresented in gifted programs. Perhaps the better question is this: Are today’s schools identifying giftedness—or simply identifying the students who fit school best?

Men are good.

1. Grok
Safe, conservative approximate male:female ratios (drawing primarily from greater male variance with equal or near-equal means, plus notes on the effect of a small mean difference) are in these ranges:
  • Above 140: roughly 1.5–2.3 : 1 (central/safe figure often cited around 2 : 1)

  • Above 150: roughly 1.7–3.1 : 1 (central around 2.5–3 : 1)

  • Above 160: roughly 2.2–4.5 : 1 (central around 3–4 : 1)

  • Above 170: roughly 3–7+ : 1 (central around 4–6 : 1, with high uncertainty)

    1. Google

      1. IQ 130: Approximately 1.5 : 1 to 2 : 1

      1. IQ 140: Approximately 3 : 1 to 4 : 1

      1. IQ 150: Approximately 5 : 1 to 8 : 1

      1. IQ 160: Approximately 10 : 1 to 15 : 1

      1. IQ 170: Approximately 20 : 1 to 30 : 1 [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

 
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August 06, 2026
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Maybe It’s Time We Invented a Few Words Too



Maybe It’s Time We Invented a Few Words Too

It is truly remarkable how feminism has been able to create words that bolster their ideology and simultaneously demean men. Some of these have been accepted by the general culture and have even become household terms.

Over the years we‘ve seen mansplaining, manterrupting, bropropriating, himpathy, misogynoir, kyriarchy, toxic masculinity, gender washing, leg hair harassment, and ​many others.

​These words have a double punch. They not only describe a behaviour, they also imply a motivation. For example, mansplaining describes a man who is explaining a phenomenom but it also carries the idea that he is doing this out of sexism, arrogance, or a desire to assert male superiority.

​So these phrases don’t merely describe a beahviour, they shape it.​ And underneath it lies the reality that these phrases are actually relational aggression in a more hidden form. Hurtful words that are easy to deny.

Once a behavior has a ​c​atch phrase ​attached, people begin to notice it everywhere. ​And sometimes it encourages people to agree with the feminist lens of its creator.

So I started wondering...Why ​not create a counterpoint? Perhaps it’s time the rest of us invented a few words of our own. Not because we need more labels​ and not because we revel in using relational aggression. But because satire often reveals something ordinary argument cannot.

Here are a few candidates.


Feministsplaining

 


the act of a ​f​eminist explaining something to a man in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate or oversimplified manner, without regard to h​is own expertise.




EmpathyGapping

 

​The act of offering compassion and empathy to everyone...except when it comes to men.



OvaryActing

 


Finding patriarchy in places where normal people would just call it a bad day.





NarrativeProofing

 

When all the data, even contradictory evidence proves the narrative is sound.




Herpocrisy

 

The remarkable ability to spot bad behavior in men while somehow missing the identical behavior in women.




TheoryWashing

 

When inconvenient facts show up, cover them with enough theory until nobody notices.





Patriarchoscope

 

A precision instrument used to locate patriarchy in any situation. Batteries never included. Confirmation bias always is.

Examples:

  • Boys failing in school? Patriarchy.

  • Men dying younger? Patriarchy.

  • Men committing suicide? Patriarchy.

  • Men working dangerous jobs? Patriarchy.

  • Men drafted into war? Believe it or not... patriarchy.


Of course, these definitions are satirical.

​Well, maybe....

The interesting thing about satire is that it exaggerates just enough to expose a pattern.

If you ​h​ad a chuckle while reading these, ask yourself why. Is it because the​y are ridiculous? Or because they ​are plausible? That may be the larger point.

The words we invent ​are not simply descriptive—they encourage us to interpret reality in particular ways. Maybe that​ is why creating new ​words has become such a powerful part of modern political and academic movements​?

So here’s my challenge. Can you invent a new satirical term?

Leave it in the comments.

Who knows?

If enough people use it, maybe one day some graduate student will cite it in a journal article.

Men Are Good

 
 
 
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August 03, 2026
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Seeing Men Clearly - Excerpt - Gynocentrism 2

Last week I shared the opening chapter of Seeing Men Clearly. This chapter introduces the central concept on which the rest of the book is built. My hope is not to assign blame, but to better understand the hidden forces that shape how we think about boys and men. As always, I welcome your thoughts.

 



What Is Gynocentrism?

The pattern described in the previous chapter has a name: gynocentrism.

The term is unfamiliar to many readers. It is sometimes misunderstood and often assumed to be accusatory.

Properly understood, however, it is neither an accusation nor a criticism.

As used in this book, gynocentrism refers to a cultural tendency to treat female vulnerability as morally primary. It does not mean hatred of men. It does not mean women are favored in all domains. It does not mean women never suffer injustice.

Rather, it describes a reflex—a hierarchy of concern that operates quietly beneath policy debates, media narratives, and social assumptions. When harm occurs, we instinctively ask: “How does this affect women and children?” We are often slower to ask: “How does this affect men?”

That asymmetry is not always conscious. In fact, it rarely is.

Not a Conspiracy—A Reflex

Gynocentrism is not a coordinated plot. It is not an organized agenda. It is not a secret doctrine taught in classrooms. It is a moral reflex that predates modern politics.

Its origins are open to debate. Some argue it reflects evolutionary pressures in which societies that protected reproductive capacity were more likely to survive. Others point to historical realities in which women were more physically vulnerable in violent environments. Still others emphasize psychological empathy biases that lead human beings to respond more strongly to those perceived as vulnerable.

These debates are worth having. But they are not central to this book. The central question is not origin. It is operation. What happens when a reflex becomes institutional default?

From Instinct to Structure

When a bias is widely shared, it begins shaping decisions without requiring coordination. It influences headlines, research questions, funding priorities, policy language, and perceptions of moral urgency. Over time, the reflex becomes structure. And structure often feels neutral. It rarely is.

If female vulnerability is treated as axiomatic, institutions will naturally become skilled at detecting and remedying harms affecting women. Male vulnerability, by contrast, will often require additional explanation before receiving equivalent attention. This does not require malice. It requires only default settings.

The Hierarchy of Urgency

Consider public reactions to harm. When women are victims of violence, the response is often swift and collective. Advocacy groups mobilize. Media attention intensifies. Funding initiatives follow.

When men are victims—even in substantial numbers—the reaction is often more muted. The suffering may be acknowledged, but it is less likely to be framed as a systemic moral emergency. The difference lies not in the worth of individual lives. It lies in the hierarchy of urgency.

Gynocentrism is the cultural gravity that helps create that hierarchy.

Why It Is Difficult to See

The hardest biases to recognize are often those that align with our moral self-image. Most people see themselves as compassionate. We celebrate protection. We admire sacrifice. We view concern for the vulnerable as a virtue.

When a bias appears in the form of kindness, it does not feel like bias. This is one reason gynocentrism often goes unnamed. To question it can feel like questioning compassion itself. But examining a reflex is not the same thing as rejecting it. It is simply asking whether the reflex should remain invisible.

The Question This Book Asks

The purpose of this book is not to argue that women should be protected less. It is to ask what happens when the protection of one group becomes the default moral frame through which all gender issues are viewed.

When that frame becomes embedded within institutions, predictable patterns begin to emerge. Educational practices may assume a single developmental model. Policies may allocate resources asymmetrically. Research may frame male suffering as secondary. Cultural narratives may normalize male disposability. These patterns are not random. They follow from the reflex.

Gynocentrism is not the enemy. Unexamined bias is the problem.

If we are serious about fairness, equality, and moral consistency, we must be willing to examine the hierarchies we have inherited—especially those that feel virtuous. The chapters that follow explore how this reflex operates in modern institutions. Not to inflame. But to illuminate.

 

We've seen how a hidden moral hierarchy can shape the way we respond to suffering. But how does that hierarchy become embedded in schools, research, laws, and public policy? In the next chapter, we'll explore how a cultural reflex gradually becomes an institutional reality.

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