MenAreGood
3 Leveraging and Weaponizing Gynocentrism
July 16, 2024
post photo preview

The first post in this series offered an exercise to help understand the presence of your own gynocentrism. You can see that one here. The second detailed the many different ways that gynocentrism functions in our world, from relationships to legislators, courts, and beyond. This post will be in two parts. The first part will examine how women have used gynocentrism in relationships by leveraging their gynocentric advantage to influence their male partners. The second part will explore the lethal weaponization of gynocentrism by feminists.

 

Men and Gynocentrism

To understand this process, it's essential to examine how men are influenced by gynocentrism. Testosterone drives men to seek status, which is crucial in attracting women as mates. Higher status means more reproductive choices. Because of this, men strive to impress women to earn their admiration, working hard to prove their high status. Men seek women's approval and avoid their disapproval, as both impact their perceived status. This is driven by biological imperatives.

Equally significant is the social conditioning over thousands of years, where men are taught to prioritize providing for and protecting women. From a young age, cultural norms emphasize respecting and supporting women, reinforcing men's role as providers and protectors. These biological and social factors combine, creating a powerful, instinctual drive in men to support, protect, and demonstrate their value as capable problem-solvers and valuable assets to women.

But wait. Do women have a similar drive to do anything like this for men? I don't think so. While men try to impress women with status in order to gain reproductive access, women's strategy often involves working to be more attractive. The female-dominated cosmetics industry produces over $66 billion a year in products. For perspective, the combined incomes of the NFL, MLB, NHL, and NBA are about two-thirds of that amount ($45 billion).

Gynocentrism impacts both men and women in how they see and navigate the world, particularly in relationships. Let’s get started.

Getting What You Want

While men and women share many similar ways to get what they want in relationships, there are significant differences that start early. One research study by Michael Lewis showed that when 1-2-year-old boys and girls were separated from their mothers by a barrier, they had very different strategies to get back to their moms. The boys would try to knock down the barrier, while the girls would usually sit down and cry.1 These boys took an active strategy, while the girls chose a passive response.

Another example is the classic research of Savin-Williams,2 which showed that boys and girls employed very different strategies in forming hierarchies at a summer camp. The boys were aggressive and challenging each other both physically and verbally to quickly develop a hierarchy in the first couple of days. This told them who was on top and who was not. The girls were different. They were sweet to everyone for the first week but then began using passive relational aggressive techniques to form their own hierarchies. This included gossip, false accusations, selective inattention, and other modes to attain dominance in their group. The girls formed their hierarchies in a more passive and cloaked manner. One hallmark of relational aggression is that it is easily denied with statements like "I didn't mean it like that" or "I was just kidding." This is very different from overt aggression, which is difficult to deny.

We can't draw too many conclusions about these two studies and their impact on adult behaviors in relationships, but we can start to see a pattern. The boys take a direct route, including physical action and aggressiveness, while the girls took a more indirect or passive stance. In relationship troubles, men often take an active stance, usually logic/problem-solving based (what I think), while women are more likely to take a passive stance that is often emotion-based (what I feel/want). Importantly, the female emotional path is nearly always connected to gynocentrism. Yes, women have leveraged gynocentrism to get what they want in relationships.

These behaviors harness the power of gynocentrism to work in her favor. Here's an example:

She wants something, he says no, he doesn't think it's a good idea, and he offers his reasons why. She starts crying. What does this do? It puts him on alert that he is failing to provide/protect and meet her needs. It also shifts the discussion's focus from the topic at hand to her emotional reaction. Now, the focus is on helping her with her tears. Instead of being about the discussed topic, it is now about her! Her hope is that he will shift his position to aid her distress. This is not dissimilar to the 1-year-old girls who, when faced with an obstruction, would simply sit down and cry. What makes this strategy successful? It relies on gynocentrism. The man has an urge within that tells him he needs to meet her needs, to keep her safe and provided for. When it appears he is failing to meet those needs, it sets off warnings in his head that he is not fulfilling his mission. This can be a huge factor in his decision of what to do. Unless he is aware of this inner alarm, the danger is that he will act on it without thinking. He will therefore be much more likely to want to give her what she wants and to ignore his own logic and problem-solving, and his own needs.

But there is more that goes on when a woman's tears start flowing. It is doing more than just shifting the ground of the discussion to her needs. The tears have a direct impact on him. We have known for many years that a man's testosterone actually goes down when the woman cries!3 Women seem to be aware of the power of their tears and use them as needed. So it seems that men in an argument with their spouse can be at a distinct disadvantage both psychologically and physically. But the man still has his power and can still say no, even with the tears and the inner alarm. He can stick to his guns. In some ways, it's a fair fight.

Other ways for women to leverage gynocentrism include things like damseling. This is a strategy that makes one appear to be tied to the railroad tracks with the train coming! Help me quickly! I am in immediate need. Hurry. This strategy calls on the man to save her from some disaster. The tactic alerts him that this is something that needs his attention immediately. Again, the man feels the urge to save her, to keep her safe, and will leave his logic and problem-solving skills behind as he gives up on his own needs to save her from the disaster.

 

So, do men give up their own needs to satisfy their partner's upset? Yup. Anyone who fails to believe this should follow husbands in the midst of a difficult divorce. Time and again, I see some of these men giving away the farm to help their wives while they are left with very little. They are literally in a huge battle for resources, and he sometimes fails to consider his needs and instead wants to satisfy hers. In talking with these men afterward, they will often say something like, "I wanted to help her and to hope she realizes that I care." If one didn't understand the dynamic of gynocentrism and its impact on men, his actions would seem insane.

Emotional outbursts, flirting, emotional appeals, nagging, tantrums, and other forms of relational aggression are used to amplify and justify her need, and all of this is seen as important due to gynocentrism. The emotion alerts the man that she is in need. He senses his own desire to provide for her. The man will think that he is failing to provide and protect if she is left in need, or worse yet, others will find out he is not meeting her needs and will see him as deficient, and he will be publicly shamed.  Could this ever go in the opposite direction, with men using emotion to encourage the woman to give him what he wants? Probably much less often. Firstly, men are not generally allowed tender emotions, largely due to gynocentrism. He is the one who is responsible, and for him to appear emotional and needy is a cultural no-no. Secondly, she does not have the same urge to keep him safe and provided for. It simply wouldn't work. He knows it and won't try it. She knows that these tactics do work for her and also realizes that he has that inborn need to provide and protect her.

This dance between men and women has been going on for ages. Both men and women have found ways to navigate relationships with conflicts that have gynocentrism just beneath the surface. Again, in some ways, this is a fair fight.

Weaponizing Gynocentrism

But when does it stop being a fair fight? That's where the feminists come in. In the early 1970s, feminists began to weaponize gynocentrism. They understood the power of gynocentrism and started introducing pathological elements into the dynamic. Imagine a woman using damseling to get her way. Instead of sticking with the traditional damseling, which men have hundreds of years of experience handling, she starts pathologizing him for not agreeing with her. She implies there's something wrong with him if he disagrees; he must hate women (false accusation). The fight then changes from a disagreement to a question of his character. He gives in. This is the weaponization of gynocentrism. Responding or questioning her becomes forbidden and pathologized. He is declared hateful simply for having a differing point of view. Gynocentrism provides the feminist with a shield to hide behind as she makes overtly false accusations. This gynocentric shield is strong and effective because men are biologically and psychologically wired to provide for and protect women, not to attack them. (never hit a girl) If he attacks, it appears as evidence that her false accusation is accurate. The accusations bind him, preventing him from disagreeing due to his gynocentric need to hold women in high esteem. He can't be seen as a man who hates women. The next time this happens, she uses the same tactic, disallowing any disagreement and labeling him hateful if he disagrees. "No, I don't hate you. I love you. See, I will give you what you want." This is a beginning outline of feminist manipulations.

 

A feminist says, "Men are pigs." A man disagrees, saying that is not true. She responds, "You just don't understand; you could never understand since you are not a woman." He agrees he is not a woman but maintains that men are not pigs. She says, "If you can't see this, you must hate women!" The conflict shifts from whether men are pigs to the unwinnable arena of whether he hates women. It is nearly impossible to disprove a false accusation, but this man tries and ends up frustrated. He withdraws and stops talking with her. He has been successfully silenced. He now sees it is dangerous to disagree. His mission is to provide for and protect women, and he cannot afford to be outed as someone who willfully goes against that gynocentric law. It might make him look like he hates women.  This would be a huge drop in status.

This is what feminism has done on a global level. They have blamed men for nearly every problem a woman might experience, and if any man questions this, they accuse him of misogyny. Feminists believe they are always right, and any dissenting man is part of the patriarchy. When he protests, it is simple to label him a misogynist. All the while, the feminist claims victimhood on cultural, social, psychological, physical, and personal levels. Men are geared to help women who claim victimhood, putting him in a bind if he disagrees.

This kind of manipulation is not new. It has been around for many years. Peter Wright's excellent website gynocentrism.com offers extensive information on gynocentrism's workings. In one article, he quotes Belford Bax, an early anti-feminist writer, from his book "The Fraud of Feminism" (1913):

"Woman at the present day has been encouraged by a Feminist public opinion to become meanly aggressive under the protection of her weakness. She has been encouraged to forge her gift of weakness into a weapon of tyranny against man, unwitting that in so doing she has deprived her weakness of all just claim to consideration or even to toleration."

Bax points out that feminist women over 100 years ago were using this manipulative strategy to silence men. It is an extraordinarily devious yet simple tactic that takes advantage of men's desire to help and serve women. The end result is that men are hog-tied and left in a double bind. If he tells the truth, she will broadcast that he hates women. He can't risk that since it would ruin his reputation. And if he says nothing, she will continue her hate speech. Worse yet, if he agrees with her, then...

Bax said, "forge her gift of weakness into a weapon of tyranny against man." This sums things up. Gynocentrism offers women a facade of weakness that invites men to offer their help and aid. But that facade of weakness now works as a shield due to men's reluctance to "hit a girl." Feminists have been free to fire cannons of shame, blame, and disdain at men while hiding behind a shield of gynocentrism. Gynocentrism allows feminists to hurl damaging and hateful false accusations without hesitation while men are put into a bind that limits their ability to attack the false accusations. Men have many reasons not to fight back against these attacks. The next section will go into more detail about those reasons.

 
community logo
Join the MenAreGood Community
To read more articles like this, sign up and join my community today
0
What else you may like…
Videos
Podcasts
Posts
Articles
15 hours ago
The Decline of Feminism and the Manspreading Chair - Regarding Men 27

Recorded 2020 - This conversation was recorded several years ago, but it’s just as relevant today. Janice, Tom, and Paul take a sharp look at the absurdities of modern feminism—including the infamous, award-winning “Manspreading Chair.” They also discuss the growing signs that feminism may be in decline. Take a listen and see what you think.

00:29:04
May 22, 2025
Feminism: Untrue and Unhealthy

Join Tom and David Shackleton for a unique discussion of Feminism: Untrue and Unhealthy. David challenges conventional narratives and offers insights that many others shy away from. The conversation touches on his groundbreaking books, The Hand That Rocks the World and Daughters of Feminism, offering a glimpse into the thought-provoking theories that make Shackleton an important figure in our understanding of men and women. Stay tuned for a look at his ideas that continue to shape our understanding of gender.

The Hand that Rocks the World https://www.amazon.com/Hand-That-Rocks-World-Inquiry-ebook/dp/B00WRBW7X

Daughters of Feminism https://www.amazon.com/Daughters-Feminism-Women-Supporting-Equality-ebook/dp/B07CK19VJK/

00:43:50
April 23, 2025
The Anti-Male Propaganda in Netflix's Adolescence

In this discussion, Hannah Spier, Janice Fiamengo, and Tom Golden take a critical look at the anti-male messaging embedded in the Netflix series Adolescence. Together, they unpack the show’s characters, storylines, and the implausibility of the events depicted, highlighting how such narratives reinforce harmful cultural stereotypes about boys and men. The conversation shines a light on how entertainment media can quietly shape public perceptions, often portraying male characters as either predatory, weak, or disposable, while sidelining the real experiences and complexities of young men.

00:59:27
February 07, 2023
The Way Boys Play and the Biological Underpinnings

My apologies for the last empty post. My mistake. Let's hope this one works.

Tom takes a stab at using the podcast function. Let's see how it goes.

The Way Boys Play and the Biological Underpinnings
May 13, 2022
Boys and Rough Play

This is a short excerpt from Helping Mothers be Closer to their Sons. The book was meant for single mothers who really don't know much about boy's nature. They also don't have a man in the house who can stand up for the boy and his unique nature. It tries to give them some ideas about how boys and girls are different. This excerpt is about play behaviors.

Boys and Rough Play

Dr Orion Teraban from PsycHacks addressing male disposability.

This is an amazing video and he really lays out the case for men to value there lives. It’s amazing to a tualy see such a Video.

May 09, 2025
The Margins of Mercy

This is an excellent essay on moral exclusion and its impact on men. It explores how men are often pushed outside the boundaries of moral concern and highlights feminism as a likely driving force behind this dynamic.

https://critiquingfeminism.substack.com/p/the-margins-of-mercy

April 26, 2025
MHD - The Princess Treatment Exposed

I follow MHD on Patreon and enjoy many of his vids. Here’s one of his videos that was also on youtube. See what you think.

May 29, 2025
post photo preview
Men in Feminism: The Wrong Conversation
a look at a recent journal article

Context Matters: Why This Article's Tone Is Especially Misplaced

It’s important to note that this article (Men in feminism: A self-determination perspective and goals for the future.) was published in a special issue of Psychology of Men & Masculinities, themed “Uncharted Territory” and intended to explore the possible future of research on men and boys. That context makes the tone and framing of this particular piece all the more jarring. The article isn’t a research study but an opinion-based essay focused on promoting strategies to increase male support for feminism. What? While such a topic might make sense in a feminist journal, its placement in a journal dedicated to understanding men and boys—and especially one tasked with envisioning their future—seems oddly out of place.

Rather than offering new insights into how men might thrive, heal, or participate meaningfully in future gender discussions, the article reverts to a familiar script: men are framed as the problem, their psychological needs treated as secondary, and their involvement tolerated only when it's filtered through feminist ideology.

The piece positions feminism not as a framework for mutual transformation, but as a moral litmus test — one that men must pass by internalizing guilt, accepting blame, and proving themselves worthy through re-education. Instead of exploring what it means to be a man in today’s world or considering the genuine challenges boys and men face, the article doubles down on one-sided concern. Feminism, it declares, is a “nuanced and multifaceted movement that aims to improve the lives of women.” Really?

If this is what the future of men’s studies is supposed to look like — a repackaging of guilt and exclusion — then it offers little to the men it claims to engage.

Coercion in Disguise: The SDT Contradictions

What’s especially troubling is how the article invokes Self-Determination Theory (SDT) as a framework — while blatantly disregarding its foundational principles. SDT emphasizes intrinsic motivation, rooted in three key psychological needs: autonomy (freedom of choice), competence (a sense of effectiveness), and relatedness (a feeling of connection and belonging).

Yet the article undercuts autonomy from the start by quoting ​Bell ​Hooks approvingly:

“Sexism and sexist oppression... can only be successfully eradicated if men are compelled to assume responsibility.”

Compelled? That directly contradicts the heart of SDT. Autonomy means choosing to engage out of personal conviction — not guilt, coercion, or external pressure. Framing men’s involvement in feminism as something they must do or be blamed for failing to do strips the motivation of all autonomy.

Worse still, the article insists repeatedly that even when men do participate, they should not expect empathy or appreciation. Instead, they are reminded:

“Satisfying men’s psychological needs does not mean absolving them from responsibility for ways they contribute to gender inequality and sexist oppression.”

Even when men try to help, they are portrayed as morally compromised — always in debt, never fully trustworthy. That guilt-laden framing suffocates genuine engagement.

The article also centers on women's needs exclusively, showing no reciprocal curiosity or concern about men’s experiences, values, or pain. It also relieves feminist women from any responsibility to be patient, non-judgmental or even make the men feel welcome. The goal is not dialogue — it’s correction. This is captured clearly in lines such as:

“It is not feminist women’s responsibility to make men feel welcome or to agree with men, adding emotional labor on top of gendered oppression.”

And:

“We do not mean to imply, however, that it is women’s responsibility to provide patient and non-judgmental spaces for men as this places an additional burden on women.”

So if feminist women are not responsible who is? The article recommends that rather than feminist women helping men understand feminism they should farm out that task to male feminists. This outsourcing of the task to feminist men — rather than encouraging feminist women to engage directly — creates a dynamic where emotional safety is offered only if men are already ideologically compliant:

“Women have good reasons for not trusting men immediately.”

There is no vision of mutual growth or shared humanity. Men are to be “retrained” by others — not included as equals. This fails to model dialogue or mutuality and instead sets up a hierarchy: feminist women as gatekeepers of virtue, men as potential liabilities who must prove themselves.

The result is a message that frames men as morally obligated to support women because of their supposed complicity in oppression, offers no space for their own stories or struggles, and then bars them from expecting even the basic empathy that would allow for meaningful exchange.

This isn’t just intellectually inconsistent — it’s emotionally cold and strategically self-defeating. It asks men to invest in a movement that clearly does not care whether they feel welcomed, understood, or respected. In doing so, the article violates not only the principles of SDT, but any realistic pathway toward lasting engagement or authentic partnership.**


A Better Way Forward: Respect, Not Re-education

For more than 50 years, our public institutions, media, and educational systems have focused intensely on the needs and struggles of women and girls. Perhaps it’s time we reverse the lens — to spend the next 50 years focusing just as deeply on boys and men.

Imagine this: billions of dollars dedicated to researching male development, crafting education and healthcare systems tailored to boys’ needs, launching public campaigns about male well-being, creating commissions and councils that advocate solely for men’s voices. And while all this unfolds, women and girls are politely asked to wait on the sidelines — to watch without participating, without complaint, as the cultural spotlight shifts away from them.

Would that feel fair?

For many women, such a proposal would feel outrageous — as if their lives, their needs, their experiences were being brushed aside. And that reaction is exactly the point.

Because for the past half-century, that is precisely how many men have felt: ignored, blamed, and left out of the conversation. While women were told “you matter,” men were told to man up. While girls’ self-esteem, safety, and education were prioritized, boys quietly fell behind — in school, in mental health, in family life. And yet, few women stopped to ask: What about the boys?

If the idea of sidelining women now feels wrong, then perhaps it’s time to acknowledge how wrong it was to sideline men for so long. The belief that men were powerful oppressors who deserved no empathy was a cultural myth — one that too many accepted without question. And the damage of that myth is now all around us.

We don’t need to swap one form of exclusion for another. What we need is balance. We need to understand that men have struggles, too — and they deserve just as much care, compassion, and attention. Real progress doesn’t come from focusing on just one sex. It comes from listening to both.

Let’s stop pretending that empathy is a limited resource. There’s enough to go around. But first, we have to be willing to offer some to the half of the population who has gone without it for far too long.

Journal
https://www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/spotlight/future-boys-men-masculinities

Article
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fmen0000480

Read full Article
May 27, 2025
post photo preview
Using AI with Men's Issues


I’ve created several custom GPTs focused on men’s issues. A custom GPT is essentially a private AI tool built on uploaded material. For example, one of the links below connects to Stephen Baskerville’s book Taken Into Custody. When you click the link, you'll be taken to a page where you can ask the AI questions about the book. It will search the content and provide a summarized answer.

In my testing so far, the responses have been clear and insightful. Occasionally, the AI rephrases ideas in its own words—but in most cases, these interpretations are accurate. Still, keep in mind that AI isn’t perfect. While it’s a powerful tool, its answers shouldn't be treated as final authority.

Currently, there are four custom GPTs available:

I plan to expand this library and would love to hear your suggestions—what other material would you like to see added?

Note: You’ll need a free account with chatgpt account to access any of these resources.


GPT Icon
 

Sex Bias in Domestic Violence Policies and Laws

By Tom Golden

This GPT is designed to offer clear, professional, and well-sourced insights into the often overlooked experiences of male victims of domestic violence. It explores societal blind spots, institutional biases, and the unique challenges men face in being seen, believed, and supported.
https://chatgpt.com/g/g-68178dd19bfc8191a3475bcd8051917e-sex-bias-in-domestic-violence-policies-and-laws

____________________________________

 

Understanding Men and Boys: Healing Insights

By Tom Golden

Built on the insights of three books, this GPT offers thoughtful understanding of the lives and healing processes of men and boys.
https://chatgpt.com/g/g-680ed336677c8191a3527bdf1d4bf17f-understanding-men-and-boys-healing-insights

________________________________________

GPT Icon
 

Taken Into Custody - Stephen Baskerville

By Tom Golden

Built on the insights of Stephen Baskerville's classic book Taken Into Custody. this GPT offers thoughtful understanding of the difficulties surrounding divorce.

https://chatgpt.com/g/g-68239e442d0c81918469f94d38850af5-taken-into-custody-stephen-baskerville
_________________________________________


GPT Icon
 

Boys' Muscle Strength and Performance

By Tom Golden

Research studies by James Nuzzo, PhD, and others provide insights into boys' muscle strength and physical performance.

https://chatgpt.com/g/g-6824833d14d48191be9491084dd4cc8b-boys-muscle-strength-and-performance

Read full Article
May 25, 2025
post photo preview
Memorial Day: Honoring the Invisible Sacrifices


As we honor the men and women who have given their lives in military service this Memorial Day, we often focus on the visible sacrifices: the battles fought, the bravery displayed in combat, and the ultimate price paid with death. However, there are sacrifices that often go unnoticed, those that are felt long after the uniforms are put away, those that exist in the quiet aftermath of war: the mental and emotional toll on soldiers.

For many soldiers, the impact of their service does not end when they return home. While some are physically wounded, others carry psychological scars that may never fully heal. These wounds are not visible to the eye, but they are felt deeply—affecting every aspect of life, from relationships to career choices, to the personal sense of self.

The emotional and mental struggles faced by veterans often go unspoken. Issues like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and survivor's guilt can haunt them for years after the war has ended. While physical injuries can often be treated or managed, the invisible wounds are far harder to address. The pain of loss, trauma, and the moral injuries sustained in combat don’t always show up on medical charts but are carried within.

Many soldiers come home, not only grieving the comrades they lost on the battlefield but also burdened with the weight of the actions they were forced to take in the name of war. The emotional turmoil of witnessing violence, the confusion of being asked to do things that conflict with their moral compass, and the isolation that can come from feeling misunderstood by those who have not shared their experiences, can lead to an overwhelming sense of alienation.

For families of fallen soldiers, the grief is layered. While they mourn the loss of a loved one, they also often wrestle with the emotional aftermath of their service. The long-term impacts on mental health are felt across generations, as the families of soldiers who return physically and mentally scarred deal with the ripple effects of trauma. The strain on marriages, parent-child relationships, and community ties can be immense, yet the support and understanding for these issues are frequently lacking.

Memorial Day is not just a time to remember the men who died in combat—it is also an opportunity to acknowledge the immense emotional and mental cost of war that continues to impact those who survive. It is a reminder that the invisible wounds of battle—those that affect the mind and spirit—deserve as much attention and compassion as the visible ones.

This Memorial Day, as we honor those who have fallen, let us also remember those who carry the unseen scars of war. Let us stand with those who have borne the emotional and psychological burdens of military service, offering our support, empathy, and a commitment to their long-term healing. After all, the sacrifice of our soldiers is not only paid on the battlefield—it is carried on long after the guns fall silent.

Read full Article
See More
Available on mobile and TV devices
google store google store app store app store
google store google store app tv store app tv store amazon store amazon store roku store roku store
Powered by Locals