MenAreGood
Indigenous Rituals and What They Tell Us About Men
Excerpt - Swallowed by a Snake Chapter Nine
August 26, 2024
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Cross-Cultural Grief

 

This is chapter nine of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing.  In the late 1980’s I was confused about men’s ways of healing and bumped into the anthropological research on cross cultural grief.  It was this research that clearly showed the tendency of indigenous people to give men activities following a loss.  The more I studied the more I saw that men relied on action as a mode of healing. It was easy to admire the grief rituals these folks offered to both men and women.  See what you think.


Chapter Nine - Cross Cultural Grief

Indigenous people around the world have highly developed rituals and mechanisms in place in their cultures to aid the resolution of grief. These rituals are an important part of life for these people. Their cultures are fertile ground for grief to be nourished. In many ways we are the primitives, because we have very few mechanisms in our culture that function in a similar way. By studying the way indigenous people grieve we can begin to get some idea about the state of grief in our own culture and our inadequate rituals. Using the analogy of a business or a sports team that is not doing well compared to the competition, we can examine a successful party and learn from their achievement. We will probably not adopt a specific grief ritual from another culture, but we will be able to see how these cultures have incorporated grief into their daily lives and how they have developed different rituals for men and women.

These cultures have implemented action-oriented rituals that allow both men and women tasks that connect them with their grief. In our own culture we have no such thing. We are left to our own devices to heal our grief, many times without the support of a caring community. Given this void of ritual, men and women are put into a precarious state. Often, women are able to overcome this void by using their skills of relating and their natural tendency towards verbally sharing their grief with others, but men, usually with strengths of a different nature, are at more of a disadvantage. Without culturally-endorsed rituals men are left with nothing to do following a death. It has been my clinical observation that men in our culture grieve through task, that is, they find activities that allow them to access and heal their grief. Through studying the cross-cultural literature we can begin to get a glimpse of the possible root of a man’s tendency in our own culture to connect his grief with action.

The least we can expect is to stimulate our own thinking about different ways to express grief. Our own weakness in dealing with grief can be strengthened by observing the strength of the tribal culture’s ritual that is so effective in helping their communities come to terms with their loss. With that said, let’s look at what can be learned from grief around the world.

Community

One of the first things we notice is the difference between the social structure of indigenous people and our own way of life. Tribal cultures live in communities of intimately interconnected people who are closely affected in some way by the death of any member. They live in close proximity, rely on each other for the necessities of life, and usually have a common history and world view. There is a bond between them that is amplified by the feeling of “us” and “we” that develops when a group of people share such interdependence. The people of these cultures have ritual structures in place that are designed to support those in grief. There is usually a strong expectation and a sense of responsibility that the community will lend its support to those in pain. There is a sense that each death is a loss of the community, not a loss that is isolated.

We can contrast this with our own situation, where there is a certain invisibility in our interdependence. We live together in neighborhoods but not necessarily communities. Many times the neighbors who live three doors down the street have little attachment to or connection with our family. We shop in different places and work in different settings. When a member of a tribe dies, it is a person who was connected in many ways to the community. When a member of a neighborhood in North America dies, too often it is merely someone who lived down the street.

The interdependence of the tribal cultures can be better compared in some ways to the family unit in the United States. Families are interdependent in a similar kind of way, with each member having prescribed roles and duties and interacting on a daily basis. In many ways our families have become our communities. But without the embrace of a larger community we are left with fewer places to receive support for our grief. Our primary means of support frequently is limited to the members of our family. A table with many legs is not affected by one leg being sawed off, but a table with three or four legs is crippled by a similar loss. This is one of the reasons for the emergence of grief counseling in our culture.

World View

Another difference we notice is that the world view of the indigenous people in some way brings meaning to grief. Many times grief is seen as food for the soul of the dead person. The Minianka tribe in Africa see the tears of grief as being nourishment to the newborn soul of the person being grieved. Without the tears the soul could not move beyond the land of the living. In this way the mourners see their grief as a benefit to the person who has died. The variations of this theme are many, but they all incorporate the idea that grief is a necessary process and without it there is some sort of trouble. It is easy to see the contrast to our own culture where people tend to feel that their grief has no purpose or meaning, or worse yet, that it is a selfish act.

Marking the Griever

There are many common themes in the grief rituals among indigenous people. One of these is the tendency to mark the griever. All sorts of mechanisms are used, but one that is found in many cultures is hair. For many tribal people hair is a symbol of life. It marks the passage of time and is therefore connected with life and death. Many times the grievers either cut off their hair or allow their hair and (in the case of the men) beard to grow in response to a death. This is done as a symbolic act and as a part of a ritual process prescribed by the community, but it also functions as a way to mark the mourners. All the people of the community are aware that a certain haircut means a person is grieving. There are many variations on this theme, including special cuts where only a part of the hair is cut or all hair is sheared. The hair can be cut with all sorts of instruments, such as sharpened seashells, or it may be burned off. Sometimes the cut hair is saved as a memorial, to become part of a necklace or be used in a ritual. The important message of the special hair cut is that this is a person in pain, a person who is grieving, and the treatment he receives is altered due to his status as a griever.

Other ways of marking the griever include covering oneself with ashes or oil or certain colors of paint. In one African tribe there is a complex system of designating the colors of grief paint to alert the community to the type of loss that has been suffered. For instance, a man whose father died would wear a certain color of paint in a certain place on the body. If it had been his mother who died, the paint would have been a different color and painted in a different design. This simple system not only alerts the community to the fact that this man is grieving, it also clearly marks the type of loss that has occurred.

Bark

 

Bark is used in some cultures both as a way to mark the griever and as a symbol of grief. The Karanga people of Africa wear bark to mark themselves as grieving. Women wear a bark necklace, and men wear a woven bark chain around the head. The bark serves also as a symbol of loss, indicating that an individual has been stripped away from the community as bark has been stripped from the tree.

The story of Jaque, also related in a previous chapter, is another example of bark used as a symbol of loss. When his brother died suddenly, Jaque was torn by sadness and anger. Following ancient custom, he went into the forest, selected a tree and, after uttering a prayer, stripped away a piece of the bark. Now the tree, like Jaque, had lost something whose loss caused deep pain. Many times over the following months he returned to visit the tree. As the seasons passed, the wound in the tree healed. So did the wound in Jaque’s heart. With the tree as a visible reflection of his loss, Jaque was reminded that he, too, was healing. Jaque is a Native American, a Cree.

In this example, the bark of the tree was used as a symbol of the pain that the man was experiencing. As the bark is a covering of the tree, it is almost as if the man had his own covering sliced away in a similar manner. A part of him was taken—not his core, which still exists—but something that was a part of him all the same. The tree stood as a symbol for his loss; it was wounded in a similar way. Each time he visited that site the tree could remind him of his own wound and, as he watched the tree heal, of his own healing.

These are some of the ways native people have used to mark the griever. Marking gives the griever a public role to play and, in essence, permission to publicly and privately grieve. We can contrast this with the invisibility of grief in our culture. One of the last markings to be discarded in our culture was the black arm band. We now have no overt way to differentiate the people in our community who are grieving from those who are not. The men and women who are grieving can feel this invisibility and the accompanying lack of permission to grieve. Indigenous cultures prescribe specific behaviors and roles for the bereaved, the grief “norm” as it were. This can be contrasted with our own situation where there is confusion over where and when to express grief, or how much grief and of what duration is normal. This lack of “norm” leaves everyone guessing. The people I have worked with have all had the same question, “Is what I’m going through normal?” We are left untethered with a great deal of pain but no box to put it in.

When Does Grief End?

In some tribal communities, it is the responsibility of the community to clearly state when the time of official grief has ended. An example might be that a grieving man was marked by being forbidden to eat a certain type of food. When the community members feel it is the right time, they will offer the particular food to the grieving man as a symbol that he is now ready to re-enter the community as a non- grieving person. There are examples other than food—a certain way of dressing or different behavior—but the essence is the same: the community clearly marks the boundaries of grief for the griever. This contrasts with our own culture where there is great confusion about when and how much grief is appropriate. We live in a near vacuum of social indicators about the time needed to grieve. The most prevalent guideline we have is that many people don’t think you should be grieving at all.

Separating Men and Women in Grief

Another form of marking the griever is the separation of men and women in the grief rituals. By separating the grievers these cultures are honoring the differences in grieving between men and women and setting up different containers for healing. An example is the Bara people of southern Madagascar who designate two huts when a death occurs. One hut is the Tranadahy, which means “male house;” the other is the Trano Be Ranomaso, which means the “house of many tears.” During the period of time after the death these huts are used for congregating and receiving condolences. The men’s hut is the center of activity regarding the death. The men plan and initiate the rituals, receive condolences from the male guests, and take responsibility for the body. The women’s hut is more the center of emotional expression, with the women keening, wailing, and crying as they receive condolences from the female guests. These people literally have different places for men and women to be following a death. In this way, men and women are among their own sex and are in a position to be healed by their same-sex community members. It also honors the difference in grieving styles between men and women by allowing the opportunity for each to be near those who grieve as they do.

Tribal people have found a box in which to put grief. That box is ritual. The ritual that is used is both a container for the effects of grief and a norm that shows people the way to grieve. It can be any number of activities. For women the ritual many times is related to sharing their pain with each other, crying or keening. Men, on the other hand, usually have a ritual that includes some sort of action—singing sacred songs, drumming, dancing, tree wounding, etc. When Rosenblatt examined grief in 87 different cultures, he did not find a single culture in which men expressed tears more than women. In nine of the cultures studied the men didn’t cry at all, and in most of the cases studied the men cried less than the women.24 This points to a significant difference among men and women: men don’t use tears as much as women when dealing with their grief. This finding is not limited to western cultures, as many of the cultures Rosenblatt studied were tribal people who still maintained their grief rituals from their cultural heritage. From this we can see that even in cultures where there is an adequate container for grief the men tend to use tears less often than women. This finding seems to verify the research, regarding a man’s decreased levels of prolactin and the increased difficulty for men to access their tears.

What we find when we examine the cross-cultural literature is that men many times have active rituals that help them move into their grief. There is a tribe in Africa where the men literally face the women who are crying and keening in order to get into the mood of grief. They use this activity of watching the women to bring forth their own sense of loss. Even these tribal men with the luxury of intricate and beautiful grief rituals acknowledge that it is not an easy task for them to move into their feeling state. By their actions of facing the women they do something that puts them closer to their own grief.

Drumming

Another active ritual used around the world is that of drumming. The men of the Yoruba in Africa use drumming as an active means to deal with their grief.25 They have a variety of rhythms for different parts of the funeral service; a rhythm for washing the body, a rhythm for lowering the body into the grave, etc. After the death of a chief the men start playing a specific monotonous grief rhythm over and over. This rhythm is played continuously for three days. The men of the tribe are responsible for keeping the rhythm going and do not allow it to stop. They drum day and night, sleeping in shifts and then drumming for long periods. It is through this ritual, and many others, that the men have something to do after the death, and this activity helps them engage feelings of grief. The rhythm signals to the tribe that a state of mourning exists and is a constant reminder of the loss to the community.

Externalization of Pain

Another aspect of active ritual is the externalization of pain. This is accomplished in a great variety of ways, from lacerating the body, scratching oneself until the blood flows, knocking out a tooth, or even cutting off a finger. Anthropologists tell us the reasons for these mutilations are related to a number of factors encompassed in their world view, including rendering the ghost of the deceased harmless, convincing the soul of the dead of the sincerity of the grief, establishing a corporal union between the living and the dead, strengthening the departed, as an offering, or purification. A few anthropologists have seen the core of these actions: they are outward acts that express inner states. By wounding the body in some way, the inner pain has an outer parallel. This is similar to Jaque who wounded a tree as a symbol; it is just that these people are wounding themselves. As their wounds heal, they will have an outer symbol for the healing of their inner wounds. They will also have physical scars to remind them for some time of the loss that occurred. One Australian tribe has a name for grief that literally translated means “bad guts.” That is probably the best description of grief I have ever heard. The mutilations cut away at the “bad guts” and let them flow. There is a ritual among the Aborigines where the blood that is dripping from the mutilated griever is allowed to drip onto the corpse, apparently in an effort to merge the living and the dead and to strengthen the dead person. I am certainly not suggesting that we adopt these rituals as a means to facilitate our own grief. However, they are honest and effective means that these people have found to externalize their pain and “bad guts.”

Let’s turn now to looking in more detail at the way a particular tribal culture deals with grief. We can examine closely the grief rituals and the mechanisms that the men use in dealing with their grief.

The Yolngu

 

Our first example is an Aborigine people of Australia, the Yolngu.26 The men of this tribe begin to work with their grief before a death occurs. As a person becomes seriously ill, the men respond by singing sacred songs. Groups of men gather around the bedside of the ailing person and sing the sacred songs of the tribe. This is not a “let’s sing a song and go” routine. The men will sing continuously as the person lies ill. The purpose of the songs is to comfort the dying person, to keep him alert, to insure that the person will die in the right “Manikay” (sacred song cycle), to alert the ancestors that this person is coming to them, and to insure that his soul will be oriented towards its “home” after death. As the men do this, the women of the tribe are responsible for the care of the sick person and feeding the men who are singing. If there is consensus that the person is dying, the women will also cry or keen along with the songs. This crying or keening by the women is called “ngathi.” Both the crying and keening and the songs by the men are accompanied by traditional Aborigine instruments, the clapsticks and the didgeridoo. Sometimes the ailing person recovers, and if this happens the singers disperse and life goes on. If death occurs, quiet covers the camp, uncharacteristic of the usual hustle and bustle.

At the ritual announcement of the death, which is made by a man, the women of the tribe keen and wail and throw themselves to the ground. At times they will strike themselves with sharp objects. It is expected that the men of the community will restrain the women from seriously injuring themselves. The men step forward and pull the weapons from the women’s hands and throw them out of reach. The women usually respond to this by ceasing their attempts at self-injury. This action of protecting the women is seen as a sign of protection for the grievers, and a show of community support for those who are most affected by the death. It is an action that men can take that is both protecting their loved ones and an indication of their own grief.

The men of the tribe will also keen at times, particularly if the dead person was a close relative, but the more common emotional expression of the men is venting anger by dancing. It is said that the men will dance in an “energetic and violent” manner that signifies hostility. According to Rosenblatt, this expression of hostility directed outward is a common masculine activity following a death. Many times a man’s anger will open the door into his other feelings of grief.27

Tribal Ritual in the 20th Century

The Yolngu people are in many ways between two worlds. Although they have maintained many of their rituals, they also live in the midst of twentieth century technology. If a member of their tribe has died in the nearby hospital, the body is retrieved in ritual fashion. The community goes to the hospital and obtains the body, then forms a “slow, emotional, and ritualized” procession back to their camp. The body, moved with accompanying dancing and singing, is taken to a shelter where it will lie until burial. It is said that even the cars take part in the ritual, slowing, stopping, starting, and reversing as they mimic the movements of the dancers.

The coffin of the dead person is painted with sacred symbols by the initiated men of the Yolngu. These symbols are secret and are not allowed to be viewed by women and children. The purpose of the sacred symbols is to mediate between the soul of the dead person and the ancestors who will help this newly born soul along his way. Prior to the use of coffins, the Yolngu men would paint the body of the deceased with red ochre and then paint on the sacred symbols.

Singing the Grief

Throughout the days of the ceremonies grief is openly expressed, many times through song. These songs communicate many things: a wish for the return of the dead person, memories of the events in the life of the one who died, and the hope of a safe passageway for the soul to the ancestors. The men often will be singing day and night, and will sleep in shifts as the songs continue. The singing of songs by the men is an important part of the funeral service. They are accompanied by the dancing of the women who enact the stories that the songs are depicting.

The grief that is felt and expressed at the funeral ceremonies can continue for some time. It is said that late at night after the day is done and the tasks of the community are completed, you can sometimes hear the keening of a solitary mourner. The sound is heard throughout the quiet of the community and is accepted as a reminder of the pain and grief that the mourner still feels.

The men are responsible for the ritual activities of their community, and in many ways become like stage managers or directors, making the ritual preparations, rehearsing the songs, and making sure the process runs smoothly. The Yolngu men are active in working with their grief, with very specific activities assigned to them. These activities of singing, dancing, and directing the rituals give the men a framework in which their feelings can emerge and be honored and acknowledged. The women are also busy in keening, crying, dancing, caring for the children, and feeding the men. The men and women of this tribe have very specific roles to play, and both support each other through the difficult period of grief.

The Dagura People

 

We now turn to another example of indigenous grief rituals, that of the Dagura people of Africa.28 When a death occurs the women of the village begin to grieve. Their grief is somewhat muted, however, until the men have ritually announced the death. This announcement cannot occur until the men have created a “sacred space” for the grief of the village to emerge, and no man is allowed to show signs of grief until after this ritual space has been created. This is done by invoking the aid of the spirits through a private ritual performed only by the men. The invoking of the spirits is partly designed to elicit enough grief from the mourners to allow the dead person to move into the world of the ancestors. The Dagura believe that the soul’s journey into the next world is dependent in some ways upon the grief expressed by the mourners. Without adequate grief, the soul is thought to be stuck on this plane of existence and unable to leave the world. They have thus connected their grief with a purpose, that being the birth of the soul of the newly dead. The creation of ritual space, a safe container for the expression of grief, is seen as essential to the birthing of the spirit of the person who died. A part of this creation of sacred space involves throwing ashes around the house of the deceased and the ritual preparation of an actual physical space for the grief ritual. The announcement states that there has been a death, the ritual space is ready, and it is now time to grieve.

The Dagura Grief Ritual

The grief ritual itself is complex and beautiful. The grieving space is divided into different sections. The body of the dead person is dressed ceremonially and seated on a stool in the section called the “shrine.” Two women elders are seated next to the body and are charged with the duty to collect the grief that is being expressed and to “load it on” to the dead person to help him or her in the journey toward the ancestors. The shrine is colorfully decorated and contains some of the important possessions of the dead person. There is a boundary around the shrine which symbolically marks the separation between the living and the dead, and outside of the two women tending to the body, no one is allowed to enter the shrine, for to do so would mean entering the realm of the dead.

Between the shrine and the mourners is an empty space that represents chaos. Within this space people are allowed to express any form of grief they want, as long as it is related to their feelings about the death. Crying, dancing, or any expression of emotion is accepted and expected to take place within this space. There are people who are designated as “containers.” These people are often relatives who have come from afar. Their job is to insure the safety of the space for the grievers, making sure that no harm comes to those who are actively grieving. The Dagura believe in releasing grief with all its intensity, but they have also developed a system in which the intensity does not exceed the capacity of the mourners. It is like a system of checks and balances. The containers follow the grievers as they mourn and if they stray out of the ritual space, will gently tap them on the shoulder to remind them to come back into the contained space.

On one side of the shrine are the men of the village and on the other side are the women. Each group consists of mourners and containers. The mourners are further divided by the “kotuosob,” a small piece of rope tied around the wrist of the griever. The rope designates a person who was particularly close to the deceased, perhaps a family member. This marking alerts all the participants that someone who is wearing the “kotuosob” is what they call a “center of the heat” person, that is, a person who is more likely to be in danger of “grieving himself to death.” The Dagura see grief as food for the psyche, necessary to maintain a healthy psychological balance. But they also see its danger—too much grief and a person will “lose their center” and, they believe, can grieve to death. Thus the Dagura designate specific containers to follow closely behind the tagged person and do exactly as they do, including dancing, jumping to the beat of the drum, or pounding the ground. Sometimes when a tagged griever is experiencing a great deal of grief, a group of containers and mourners will form a line behind him or her with each person in the line doing the same action as the primary griever. It is understood that this transmits the feeling of the primary griever into all of those down the line. This type of process is viewed as a form of silent and physical support to the person who is grieving. It is important to point out that among the Dagura the healing of grief is gender specific. That is, no woman will approach a man in trying to help him with his grief, and no man would do the same for a woman. They believe that it takes a man to help release and heal the grief of another man, and a woman to reflect the grief of a woman.

Music

Music plays an integral part of the ritual. The ceremony is accompanied by xylophones and drums and two singers. The xylophones are divided into male and female. The male xylophone follows the mood of the singers and the female xylophone accompanies the male xylophone with a redundant set of notes. The singers are charged with the responsibility of singing (chanting) the life of the dead person. They sing the joy and sorrow of the family history and the events which led up to the death. This spontaneous singing is done in order to emphasize and direct the grief of the community.

Everyone in the community is expected to take part in this ritual. It is held as a solemn responsibility. Anyone who happens to be near the village during the ritual is expected to participate. It is as if death stops life for a while, all other activities coming to a halt. In the words of one singer, “We are trapped in a world in which we are not in control because of the mighty power of death.”

In the Yolngu and Dagura cultures, and in others around the world, grief is vented at the funeral in a very intensive fashion. The rituals of both last about three full days. During that time grief is given all the attention of the community, and it flows and flows. It should also be noted that in both cultures the support for a person’s grief does not stop after the funeral. Most indigenous people have post- funeral rituals that provide further opportunity to express grief. Rituals are practiced throughout the year, often marking important dates such as the one-year anniversary of the death. The community expects the grief to continue for some time, and in both the Yolngu and Dagura cultures grief can be released after the funeral and at the next funeral, if need be. This can be compared with our own culture where there is usually very little expression of grief during the funeral services, and few, if any, culturally-endorsed occasions for expressing grief thereafter.

Both the Yolngu and Dagura examples begin to give us an idea of how our culture lacks sufficient contained space to process the emotions that follow a death. Both have woven grief into the fabric of their lives and into their world view. Both cultures have linked a person’s grief with the purpose of aiding the soul in its journey. These cultures are very explicit in providing markers of who are the grievers and actions and roles to be played. We have very little of this. Both give men specific things to do following a death, activities that help them in connecting to their grief. Among the Yolngu, men have the responsibility of singing, and with the Dagura, men are responsible for the ritual and the healing of other men.

Imagine just for a moment that the people of the Dagura and the Yolngu suddenly lost their active grief rituals. What would happen to their men and women? What would the men of the Yolngu do without their songs? In some ways this is a parallel of what is happening in our culture. We have much to learn from indigenous people about the resolution of grief. We can use this knowledge to find creative mechanisms that are right for us.


24. Rosenblatt, P.C., R.P. Walsh, and D.A. Jackson. Grief and Mourning in Cross-Cultural Perspective. 1976, H.R.A.F. Press.
25. Diallo, Yaya, and Mitchell Hall. The Healing Drum: African WisdomTeachings. Rochester, Vermont. 1989, Destiny Books.
26. Reed, Janice “A Time to Live a Time to Grieve: Patterns and Processes of Mourning Among the Yolngu of Australia.” Culture, Medicine, and Psychiatry, 3, 1979.
27. Rosenblatt.
28. Some, Malidoma. Ritual: Power, Healing and Community. Portland. 1993, Swan Raven and Company.

If you are interested in this book you can find it here.

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That is where the paper becomes much more than a questionable academic exercise.


The Conclusion Appears in the Definition

The paper begins by defining the manosphere as an online ecosystem of anti-women actors. In the introduction, it becomes a collection of anti-feminist and male-supremacist groups.

Those are not conclusions reached after the evidence is presented. They are built into the definition of what is being studied.

This matters because antifeminism is not the same thing as misogyny. A person can disagree with feminist theories, oppose feminist organizations, criticize feminist policies, or document harms produced by feminist advocacy without hating women or believing that men should rule over them.

Yet the paper repeatedly allows these categories to bleed into one another. Anti-feminism becomes adjacent to misogyny. Misogyny becomes adjacent to male supremacy. Male supremacy becomes adjacent to violent extremism. Once this chain has been constructed, a person need not advocate violence or express hatred toward women to be placed somewhere within the threatening manosphere.

The classification does the work that evidence ordinarily would have to do.


A Map With Very Few Exhibits

The paper does refer to some ​q​uestionable material. It mentions Andrew Tate, Nick Fuentes, and deepfake pornography. I can see how some folks might label some of this as misogyny.

But this paper ranges far beyond those examples.

It includes or draws into the orbit of the manosphere men’s rights advocates, Men Going Their Own Way, Christian conservatives, dating coaches, Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Ryan Holiday, Lex Fridman, David Goggins, Jocko Willink, NoFap communities, wellness advocates, evolutionary psychologists, psychotherapists working with boys, tradwives, and female antifeminists.

What particular belief makes all these people part of one male-supremacist ecosystem?

They don’t say.

The authors identified 430 articles about the manosphere published since 2019 and drew upon approximately 100 of them. They say they selected recent publications to keep their map current. But they do not give us a systematic account of why those 100 were chosen, what evidence standards were applied, how conflicting findings were handled, or how the quality of the selected studies was assessed.

Most importantly, the paper seldom brings the primary material into view. Readers are generally told what another scholar concluded about an online community. We are then given a citation to that conclusion.

A citation may tell us where an assertion came from. It does not by itself prove that the assertion is correct.


When Repetition Becomes Evidence

The paper contains an impressive number of references. But citations are not necessarily independent evidence.

Much of the literature comes from scholars working within the same feminist and critical-masculinities framework. They frequently use similar definitions, begin with similar assumptions, and reach similar conclusions. One scholar classifies a community as misogynistic. Another scholar cites that classification. A third cites both papers as evidence that a scholarly consensus has developed.

Eventually, an interpretation acquires the appearance of fact through repetition.

The process works something like this:

  1. A contested interpretation is introduced.

  2. Like-minded scholars cite it approvingly.

  3. Later papers cite the growing literature rather than examining the original material.

  4. Repetition is treated as independent confirmation.

  5. The resulting “consensus” is used to justify intervention.

There is nothing inherently wrong with scholars citing one another. That is how knowledge develops. The problem arises when the scholars share the same ideological premises and rarely test their interpretations against primary evidence or competing explanations.

We see the same process in the news media. One outlet publishes a claim. Other outlets repeat it. Commentators then report that numerous sources have confirmed the story. But when the chain is followed backward, the apparent confirmation may lead to the same original assertion.

​S​ay something often and people will eventually start believing you.

The paper does not so much map the manosphere as map what a network of similar-thinking scholars has said about the manosphere. The difference is enormous.


When Male Suffering Becomes Further Evidence Against Men

One of the most troubling features of the paper is the way it treats male suffering.

The authors describe theories suggesting that some men strategically adopt the language of victimhood and suffering to conceal existing systems of male power. That creates an almost perfect closed system.

If men express confidence or authority, that can be read as male supremacy. If men describe pain or disadvantage, their suffering can be interpreted as a performance designed to restore male supremacy.

What evidence could possibly prove the theory wrong?

Boys’ educational problems, male suicide, fatherlessness, workplace deaths, family-court experiences, loneliness, economic displacement, and men’s loss of social purpose receive little consideration as problems with standing of their own. Male distress matters mainly because dangerous influencers may exploit it.

The possibility that men might have legitimate grievances is never allowed to reorganize the analysis. Their suffering enters the model as another part of the pathway toward misogyny.

Imagine treating women’s suffering this way. Imagine an academic paper arguing that women describe victimization strategically to conceal female power and obtain greater institutional control. The authors would rightly be asked for extraordinary evidence. Not hard to imagine, is it?

Men are granted no such presumption of sincerity.


Self-Improvement Becomes a Radicalization Pathway

The paper is particularly suspicious of male self-improvement.

Physical fitness, discipline, purpose, Stoicism, financial advice, pornography avoidance, and wellness practices are treated as possible entry points into male-supremacist spaces. Even content carrying ordinary labels such as motivation, mindset, and money is described as potentially directing boys toward dangerous material.

Certainly, some influencers exploit insecure followers. Some sell worthless programs, make irresponsible health claims, or deliberately intensify fear to keep an audience engaged. This is hardly unique to men’s media. The internet is overflowing with wellness grifts, financial fantasies, political panic, and products marketed through insecurity.

But the authors do not treat exploitation as a general problem within the attention economy. They construct a particularly male ideological danger. Helping men develop strength, confidence, discipline, and purpose becomes suspect because it might “re-masculinise” them rather than lead them toward the authors’ preferred understanding of masculinity.

The paper even contrasts some evolutionary psychologists and psychotherapists working with boys with approaches grounded in social-constructionist and intersectional principles. The underlying assumption appears to be that social constructionism and intersectionality provide the only legitimate ways to understand men, boys, and the world around us.

That is not a neutral concern about hateful content. It is a dispute over which theory of men should be institutionally approved.


From Description to Control

Near the end, the paper moves from describing the manosphere to proposing what should be done about it.

The authors support educational interventions, disengagement programs, gender instruction, critical digital literacy, and broader structural responses. They then write:

Structural interventions must therefore include policy reforms that address not just content moderation, but also the architecture of virality, algorithmic bias, and platform accountability.

That sentence deserves much more scrutiny than the authors give it.


Architecture of virality

The architecture of virality consists of the systems that allow material to spread: recommendation engines, trending lists, hashtags, reposting, automatic playback, notifications, engagement-based ranking, and monetization.

Changing that architecture can mean slowing the spread of material the platform considers harmful. Content may remain technically available while being excluded from recommendations, search results, trending lists, or monetization. It has not been formally banned. It has merely been made nearly impossible to find.

That is censorship with softer edges and less public accountability.


Algorithmic bias

Algorithms often reward sensational or inflammatory material because outrage generates engagement. Examining that problem is entirely reasonable.

But what counts as the bias, and what would count as its correction?

Within the framework of this paper, the problem appears to be that algorithms recommend material the authors have classified as misogynistic, male supremacist, reactionary, or manosphere-adjacent. Correcting the algorithm would presumably mean turning it away from those ideas and toward content considered inclusive, social-constructionist, and intersectional.

In other words, the algorithm would be adjusted toward the authors’ preferred ideology.

Platform accountability

Platform accountability sounds reassuring. Platforms should enforce clear rules against threats, targeted harassment, doxing, and illegal activity. They should explain their policies and provide meaningful appeals.

But the paper employs categories far more elastic than threats or illegal conduct. What would platforms be held accountable for suppressing? Misogyny? Anti-feminism? Male supremacy? Traditional beliefs? Evolutionary explanations of sex differences? Criticism of feminist organizations? Male-oriented therapy? Stoicism? Advocacy for fathers?

The authors never establish a reliable boundary.

And they never answer the essential question:

Who decides?

Would it be technology companies, government regulators, feminist advocacy organizations, academics, fact-checkers, or privately funded extremism researchers? What evidence would they require? Could their decisions be appealed? Would the standards be public? Would criticism of feminism remain protected? Would identical standards apply to hatred directed toward men?

The paper does not tell us.


Apply the Same Standard to Feminism

The easiest way to expose the problem is to apply the paper’s method to feminism.

Imagine beginning a study by defining feminism as an online ​misandrist ecosystem of anti-male actors. Imagine grouping together radical feminists, mainstream women’s organizations, feminist journalists, gender-studies departments, female separatists, lifestyle influencers, abortion activists, and women who post angrily about dating.

Imagine treating female claims of suffering as strategic performances designed to conceal women’s institutional power. Imagine describing women’s wellness and empowerment content as possible gateways into misandry. Imagine tracing every shared citation, hyperlink, podcast appearance, and social-media recommendation as evidence of ideological cross-pollination.

Then imagine recommending disengagement programs, educational interventions, content moderation, algorithmic correction, and upstream regulation of the digital environment.

The methodology would immediately be condemned as guilt by association.

And yet finding direct expressions of feminist hostility toward men would not be difficult. Many feminist writers and activists have described men as violent, defective, dangerous, unnecessary, or collectively responsible for women’s suffering. Such statements have appeared in books, classrooms, journalism, advocacy, and popular culture. They are often defended as provocative social criticism rather than treated as gateways to extremism.

I am not suggesting that feminist speech should be suppressed. I am asking whether the people demanding controls on male-oriented speech would accept their own rules if those rules were applied evenly.

If they would not, they are not proposing a neutral system for controlling hatred. They are proposing ideological control.


Show Us the Evidence Before You Control the Conversation

There is misogyny online. There are men who say hateful things about women. There are disturbed communities, exploitative influencers, and individuals who encourage violence. Specific threats and specific acts should be confronted directly.

But none of that grants scholars permission to collapse an enormous range of men, beliefs, and communities into a single male-supremacist ecosystem.

Before regulating an ideology, we should require those proposing the regulation to define it clearly, identify who actually holds it, present representative primary evidence, distinguish hatred of women from criticism of feminism, and demonstrate that the proposed intervention targets harmful conduct rather than political disagreement.

This paper does not meet that standard.

It begins with a loaded definition, gathers a network of mutually reinforcing citations, treats male suffering as potentially deceptive, stretches the manosphere across an astonishing range of people and practices, and then invokes the resulting academic consensus to justify intervention into the systems that determine which ideas may spread.

The process is circular but effective:

First create the category. Then fill it with everyone you distrust. Cite colleagues who use the same category. Call the repetition a consensus. Finally, use that consensus to regulate the people placed inside it.

That is not simply mapping an online world.

It is constructing a threat—and then requesting the power to control it.​ Can you sense the desperation?


The paper discussed is Vivian Gerrand, Debbie Ging, Joshua M. Roose, and Michael Flood, “Mapping the Neo-Manosphere(s): New Directions for Research,” Men and Masculinities 28, no. 5 (2025): 443–464. https://doi.org/10.1177/1097184X251350277

Men Are Good.

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September 21, 2026
The Four Powers of the Mature Masculine
An introduction to Robert Moore’s King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover

 

 

 


I met Robert Moore only once, but I fell in love with him.

That may sound like an unusual way to introduce a psychological theorist. But anyone who heard Moore teach will probably understand what I mean. He had a strong Southern drawl, an enormous personality, and a gift for taking difficult psychological ideas and making them feel immediate and alive. He would move from Carl Jung to an old myth, from a clinical observation to a story about ordinary life, and then—often enough—to a reference to Jack Daniel’s.

You never had the sense that the archetypes were dry concepts to him. They were living realities. He saw them at work in families, marriages, therapy offices, universities, churches, corporations, political movements, and the private struggles of men trying to grow up.

Many years ago, I purchased a collection of Moore’s audiotapes on the masculine archetypes. I listened to them repeatedly and found them profoundly helpful, both personally and in my work as a psychotherapist. The books Moore wrote with Douglas Gillette—particularly King, Warrior, Magician, Lover—present the basic architecture of the model. But the recordings are different.

Much of this series draws from approximately twenty-seven hours of recordings from Moore’s graduate classes on the masculine archetypes. In those classes he had room to think aloud, answer questions, wander down unexpected paths, tell stories, make jokes, and show how the different parts of his theory fit together. The result is more personal, expansive, and sometimes more revealing than the published books.

These articles are my attempt to introduce that richer Moore to a new audience.

Before we meet the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover, however, we need to understand what Moore meant by an archetype.


What Is an Archetype?

An archetype is not a personality type.

The four archetypes are not four categories into which men can be sorted. This is not a masculine version of a personality quiz in which you discover that you are “a Warrior” while your friend is “a Lover.” Nor are archetypes prescribed social roles or stereotypes telling men how they are supposed to behave.

An archetype is a deep human pattern—an organizing potential within the psyche that shapes how we perceive, experience, and express a particular form of energy.

The King organizes, blesses, and creates order.

The Warrior acts, protects, establishes boundaries, and gets difficult things done.

The Lover connects, values, grieves, delights, and experiences the world through the senses.

The Magician observes, interprets, understands, and guides transformation.

Every man carries the potential for all four.

We may have easy access to one and very little access to another. One may be welcomed by our family while another is shamed. We may express an archetype maturely in one situation and fall into its shadow in another. We may be disciplined and courageous at work yet unable to establish a boundary with someone we love. We may be a wise guide to other people but incapable of applying the same wisdom to ourselves.

The goal is not to determine which archetype we are. The goal is to develop a conscious relationship with all four and gradually bring their powers into cooperation.

Moore was also careful to distinguish between connecting with an archetype and identifying with it. A man can connect with King energy, but he is not the King. He can draw upon the Warrior, but he is not the archetypal Warrior. These energies are larger than the individual ego.

When a man receives their power while remaining aware of his human limits, the archetype can enlarge his life. But when his ego begins to believe that it is the archetypal power, inflation follows. He may become convinced that he alone knows the truth, that ordinary rules do not apply to him, or that other people exist to admire, obey, or serve him.

Healthy contact with an archetype gives us power. Identification with it makes us grandiose.

Maturity therefore requires more than awakening these energies. It requires learning to contain, balance, and steward them.


Psychology’s Missing Question

As far as I know, Robert Moore is the only major psychological theorist who attempted such a sustained and systematic examination of the mature masculine.

Psychology has produced libraries about what is wrong with men. It has studied male aggression, violence, narcissism, emotional restriction, risk-taking, sexual pathology, criminality, and failure. Some of that work is necessary and valuable. Men, like women, have shadows that must be understood.

But pathology is not a vision of maturity.

It is one thing to tell men what they must stop doing. It is quite another to help them understand what they might become.

Where is the psychological literature describing mature male authority that does not become domination? Where is the account of aggression transformed into courage, discipline, and protection? Where do we find male sexuality joined with wonder, grief, tenderness, and appreciation? Where is knowledge transformed into initiation, healing, and service?

Moore asked these questions.

Instead of beginning with the assumption that masculine power itself was the problem, he asked what each power looked like when it was immature, wounded, inflated, or properly developed. He did not deny the destructive possibilities within men. On the contrary, he examined them closely. But he refused to confuse the shadow of masculinity with masculinity itself.

That distinction is badly needed today.

Years ago, I raised Moore’s work with a group of members of Division 51 of the American Psychological Association—the division devoted to the psychological study of men and masculinities. Not one person present was familiar with it.

I found that astonishing. Here was an extensive psychological model devoted to mature masculine development, and it was largely unknown within the professional organization created to study men.

Perhaps it should not have been surprising. Our culture has become much better at describing harmful male behavior than at giving boys and men a positive image of what their strength, aggression, sexuality, authority, and intelligence are for.

But we cannot help boys grow into mature men if we possess no serious image of mature masculinity.

Moore gave us one.


Four Powers, Not Four Boxes

Moore’s model begins with four basic configurations of masculine energy.

The King is the center that creates order. He offers blessing, holds a vision of the whole, calms chaos, and uses his authority to help others develop. His mature power is not control for its own sake but generativity—the capacity to create a world in which life can flourish.

The Warrior brings disciplined action. He recognizes enemies, establishes boundaries, endures hardship, and places his strength in service of something beyond comfort or self-interest. The mature Warrior is not violent for the pleasure of violence. He knows what must be protected and what is worth sacrificing for.

The Lover awakens us to value. He experiences beauty, pleasure, sorrow, sexuality, nature, music, friendship, and the astonishing particularity of another person. The Lover is the part of us that knows why the world is worth protecting in the first place.

The Magician understands the map. He sees beneath appearances, breaks through denial, interprets symbols, recognizes which energy a situation requires, and helps people move through transformation. At his highest level, knowledge becomes healing and stewardship.

None is sufficient alone.

The King without the Magician may become certain of his own authority and unable to recognize his self-deception. The Magician without the King may see through everything but believe in nothing. The Warrior without the Lover may become brutal, while the Lover without the Warrior may be unable to protect what he loves. The King needs the Warrior’s capacity to act, the Lover’s capacity to value, and the Magician’s capacity to discern.

Maturity does not eliminate the tensions among these powers. It helps us hold them consciously so that each can correct and complete the others.


Every Archetype Has a Shadow

Moore’s work is not a celebration of masculine power without qualification. Each archetype has shadow forms.

The King’s authority may inflate into tyranny or collapse into weakness. The Warrior’s discipline may become cruelty or turn inward as masochistic self-destruction. The Lover’s capacity for connection may become addiction and boundarylessness or disappear into numbness and impotence. The Magician’s insight may become manipulation, cynical detachment, or the denial of knowledge and responsibility.

These opposites are often closer than they appear. The Tyrant may conceal a terrified Weakling. The man who dominates others may feel inwardly powerless. The compulsive Lover may alternate between overstimulation and deadness. The detached Magician may secretly depend upon others to carry the emotional life he refuses to enter.

Moore’s model is therefore not a simple theory of four positive qualities. It is a dynamic system filled with developmental levels, opposing shadows, characteristic inflations, inner conflicts, and relationships among the archetypes.

His understanding also evolved. In the lectures, Moore sometimes questioned earlier formulations, distinguished one archetype from another more carefully, and explored ideas that never received the same space in his books. He was building a map of enormous territory, and he knew the map was unfinished.

This series cannot offer an exhaustive account of that territory. These articles cannot contain the complexity of twenty-seven hours of teaching, much less the larger body of Moore’s work.

What follows is an overview—a way of opening four doors.


The Boy, the Hero, and the Man

One of Moore’s most important distinctions was between boy psychology and mature masculine psychology.

The boy is not bad. Boyhood contains imagination, daring, play, idealism, and enormous potential. But the boy’s energies are not yet organized around adult responsibility. They easily become grandiose: the fantasy that he is invulnerable, uniquely important, exempt from limits, or destined for greatness without apprenticeship and sacrifice.

Moore regarded the Hero as primarily a boyhood pattern. The Hero’s great task is not to remain heroic forever. It is to confront his own grandiosity, accept his limitations, and grow up.

Only then can he become a mature Warrior.

This is a crucial correction to the way these ideas are often simplified. The Warrior is not merely a stronger Hero. The Hero fights in large part to establish himself. The mature Warrior has less need to prove himself because his energy has been placed in service.

The same developmental movement appears in all four archetypes. Immature energy asks, “How powerful does this make me?” Mature energy asks, “What is this power for?”

That question—what is it for?—runs through Moore’s entire model.

Authority is for blessing and creating order. Aggression is for protecting, separating, and acting. Sexual and emotional vitality are for relationship, appreciation, and participation in life. Knowledge is for discernment, initiation, and healing.

Power reaches maturity through stewardship.


Why These Ideas Matter Now

Many men today have been given an extensive vocabulary for their possible defects and almost no language for their healthy development.

They hear about toxic masculinity, male privilege, emotional restriction, dominance, violence, and entitlement. Again, harmful behavior deserves honest attention. But a boy cannot build an identity entirely from instructions about what not to become.

He needs to know what his strength is for.

He needs an image of authority that blesses rather than dominates; aggression that protects rather than abuses; sexuality that connects rather than consumes; knowledge that heals rather than manipulates.

He also needs permission to see these capacities as genuinely masculine without being told that masculinity is either inherently dangerous or merely an arbitrary costume imposed upon him.

Moore offered a language capable of holding masculine power and masculine shadow at the same time. He neither romanticized men nor reduced them to their failures.

That balance may be his greatest contribution.


Entering the Four Rooms

We will begin with the King, because the King supplies the center. Without some connection to calm, blessing, responsibility, and just order, the other energies easily become chaotic or destructive.

We will then meet the Warrior, whose discipline turns intention into action and whose boundaries protect what matters.

Next comes the Lover, who opens the garden of beauty, connection, grief, sexuality, and delight—the world the Warrior is asked to defend.

Finally, we will meet the Magician, keeper of the map and guide to transformation. The Magician brings the fourfold pattern into view and helps us understand how the powers work together.

These articles will include material from Moore’s books, but they will also draw deeply from the recorded classes in which his voice, humor, and humanity are most present. My hope is not merely to summarize his theory. It is to let readers feel something of what I experienced listening to those tapes years ago: the sense that these ancient patterns could illuminate an ordinary life.

Moore helped me see that mature masculinity is not a fixed destination and certainly not a performance of invulnerability. It is an ongoing relationship with powerful inner potentials—each capable of serving life, each capable of falling into shadow, and none capable of maturing alone.

The four archetypes give us a map.

They do not tell us exactly where our journey will lead. But they may help us recognize the room we are standing in, the power we have forgotten, and the next door that needs to be opened.

We will start the series next Monday.

Men Are Good.

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September 17, 2026
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When One Incel Becomes Ten
How one real threat became evidence of a widespread violent ideology among French youth

 

 

 


One of the great dangers of modern journalism is that a false narrative can acquire the appearance of fact simply by attaching itself to an authoritative source. That is what appears to have happened in a recent Le Monde article about “masculinism.”

The article makes a series of extraordinary claims about boys and men. Its very title announces that masculinism is an “increasingly widespread, violent and popular ideology among French youth.” Throughout the article, male grievance, separated fathers, antifeminism, the manosphere, incels, misogyny and terrorism are placed close enough together that they begin to look like parts of the same phenomenon.

 


And the claims carry considerable authority because they are presented as flowing from a 260-page French Senate report drawing, in part, on information from the DGSI—France’s domestic security service. That sounds impressive. But then you read what the underlying material actually says. And the story begins to fall apart.

The security evidence is dramatically narrower than the Le Monde narrative built around it. Instead of evidence that a widespread movement of French boys and young men is becoming violent, we find one exceptionally serious case involving a young man identified with incel and Black Pill ideology who was allegedly preparing an attack, along with approximately nine other young people being monitored because authorities considered them susceptible to violent radicalization in connection with the incel milieu.

Those are not the same thing. One boy was allegedly preparing an attack. The others were considered susceptible to radicalization.

Yet watch what happens as this information moves through the story:

One alleged incel attack plot → roughly ten monitored youths → incels → the manosphere → masculinism → a widespread violent ideology among French youth.

At every step the population gets larger. But the word violent travels with it.

That is what makes this more than sloppy wording. When journalism takes evidence about one exceptional case and allows its most frightening characteristics to spread across larger and larger groups, it can create a public narrative that the underlying evidence never established.

And when the people being described are boys and men, the resulting narrative can become deeply misandrist: ordinary male distress starts looking suspicious; male grievance becomes a possible gateway to extremism; fathers’ advocacy can be placed alongside misogyny; and boys searching for help, identity or belonging can appear as the outer edge of a terrorist problem.

So I decided to look more closely at the young men being used to support this narrative. That is when I discovered something remarkable.


One incel had become ten.

Not literally, of course. The other young people did not suddenly adopt his beliefs or actions. Rather, the characteristics of this one serious case began to migrate outward onto other young people for whom the evidence was very different.

The DGSI, France’s domestic security service, reported approximately ten young people under scrutiny because they were considered susceptible to violent radicalization in connection with the incel milieu. That is not the same thing as saying that ten violent incels had been discovered.

One young man was identified with incel/Black Pill ideology and allegedly preparing an attack. The others were being watched because authorities believed they might be susceptible to radicalization. That distinction is crucial.

Susceptibility is not radicalization. Surveillance is not violence. And being considered vulnerable to recruitment into an ideology is certainly not the same thing as personally identifying with that ideology.

At each step the population expands while the frightening characteristic derived from the smallest and most extreme group remains attached. That is the sleight of hand at the heart of this story.


The part of the story we weren’t told

There is another detail that makes the Saint-Étienne case considerably more complicated than the framing suggests. According to the account attributed to the DGSI, the young man’s hostility was directed toward a particular girl whom he believed had falsely accused his friends of rape.

That does not make the alleged plot less serious. Nor does it demonstrate that incel ideology played no role. Both things could have been operating simultaneously. But surely it matters when we are trying to understand motive.

There is a significant difference between a young man wanting to attack women simply because they are women and a young man who embraces incel ideas but is also enraged at a particular person because he believes she seriously harmed his friends. The Le Monde article made no mention of his concerns for his friends.

Perhaps incel ideology intensified that grievance. Perhaps the grievance drove his attraction to the ideology. Perhaps both were important. We don’t know. And that is precisely the point.

The available evidence does not allow us simply to choose among those possibilities. But remove the specific grievance and what remains is a much cleaner story:

Incel hates women and plans attack against girl.

Put the omitted grievance back in and the story becomes more complicated:

A troubled young man immersed in incel/Black Pill material allegedly planned violence against a particular girl whom he believed had falsely accused his friends of rape.

The second description is less convenient. It is also more complete.


One boy carries the weight of the story

This matters because the Saint-Étienne suspect is doing an enormous amount of work in the larger narrative. He is the strongest evidence of the progression the article wants the reader to see:

male grievance → incel ideology → radicalization → violence

But then his characteristics begin to bleed outward onto the other young people.

The Senate report itself is more cautious. It distinguishes cognitive radicalization from behavioral radicalization and acknowledges that the scientific literature does not establish a causal relationship between exposure to masculinist material and violent action. Ideological adherence, it says, does not mechanically lead to violence.

That qualification changes everything. A boy can watch objectionable material without accepting it. He can accept radical ideas without becoming violent. He can be lonely or angry without being radicalized. He can be susceptible to radicalization without actually becoming radicalized. And he can be monitored by a security service without ever having planned an attack.

Those aren’t minor semantic distinctions. They are different evidentiary categories.


How a threat grows on paper

Once you preserve those distinctions, the architecture of the story becomes much easier to see. There are really three very different populations.

The first is a serious case: a young man identified with incel/Black Pill ideology who was allegedly preparing an attack.

The second is a tiny security population: approximately ten young people considered susceptible to violent radicalization in connection with incel milieus.

The third is an enormous and heterogeneous population of boys and men who may watch male-oriented influencers, participate in parts of the manosphere, criticize feminism, favor traditional sex roles, belong to fathers’ groups, struggle with dating, or simply search online for help with loneliness, fitness, money, relationships, or becoming a better man.

Evidence about the first population does not automatically describe the second. And evidence about the second certainly does not describe the third.

But place all three populations close enough together and the reader begins to experience them as points along a single continuum. That is where framing becomes so powerful.

You don’t actually have to say that the lonely fifteen-year-old watching fitness videos is on his way to becoming a terrorist. You merely put him into a narrative that begins with algorithms and male grievance, passes through misogyny and incels, and ends with terrorism.

The reader supplies the arrow.


One attack becomes two

This is also why another discrepancy in the Le Monde article matters so much. The article says that two violent masculinist actions were foiled in 2024 and 2025. But the underlying Senate report identifies one imminent incel terrorist attack foiled by the DGSI—the Saint-Étienne case.

The report discusses other young people who were arrested, referred, investigated, or monitored. But those categories are not interchangeable.

A referral is not an attack. Surveillance is not an attack. Concern about possible radicalization is not an attack. Preparation for an attack is something else entirely.

Unless a second equivalent case can be identified, turning one foiled attack into two “violent actions” isn’t merely a numerical discrepancy. It reinforces the larger narrative by making an extraordinarily small phenomenon appear to be reproducing itself.

And the report itself warns against drawing broad conclusions from these cases. The number is simply too small.

Yet the headline offered to readers was:

“Masculinism, an increasingly widespread, violent and popular ideology among French youth.”

Think about the distance between that headline and the underlying security evidence. One alleged imminent attack. Approximately ten young people being watched because they were considered susceptible to violent radicalization associated with the incel milieu. Only one clearly identified here as an incel/Black Pill adherent preparing an attack.

That is a very different story.


The boys disappear again

There is one final part of this that troubles me. The Senate material describes many of these young people as profoundly vulnerable. Their histories include bullying, social isolation, trauma, sexual victimization, disability, psychiatric difficulties, and dysfunctional families.

Those details should matter. They don’t excuse threats or violence. A young man preparing to hurt someone needs to be stopped regardless of what happened to him.

But imagine encountering a group of troubled girls with those histories. Would our first question be: How dangerous are these girls to men? Or would we ask: What happened to them?

With these boys, their vulnerability seems to become interesting primarily because it may make them susceptible to radicalization. Their suffering becomes a security indicator.

The boy disappears and the potential perpetrator takes his place.

That may be one of the most revealing aspects of the entire story.

The same information could have prompted another set of questions. Why are these boys isolated? Why were some of them bullied? What happened to the sexually victimized ones? Where are their fathers? Where are the male mentors? Why are boys searching online for communities that seem to offer them belonging, identity and meaning? And what could we do to reach them before some negative influencers do?

Those questions don’t require ignoring genuine threats. Quite the opposite. Understanding troubled boys more accurately might be one of the best ways of preventing the tiny number who actually become dangerous from getting there.


A real threat needs no exaggeration

There really was a serious case in Saint-Étienne. French authorities appear to have identified a credible threat and intervened before anyone was hurt.

Good.

That is exactly what security services are supposed to do. And that story needs no exaggeration.

What it does not justify is allowing the characteristics of that one young man to migrate outward—to approximately nine other monitored youths, then to incels generally, then to the manosphere, then to “masculinism,” and ultimately to a broad population of boys and men whose beliefs and behavior bear little resemblance to his.

There is a lesson here that reaches far beyond this particular article. Whenever we hear that some enormous group is becoming “radicalized,” “extremist” or “violent,” we should ask a few simple questions:

How many people actually committed violence? How many actually planned violence? How many were merely being monitored? How many personally identified with the ideology being discussed? And at what point did evidence about a tiny extreme subgroup begin to describe everybody else?

Those questions are especially important when we are talking about boys.

A real threat should lead us to greater precision, not less. One alleged terrorist plot is serious enough.

We shouldn’t need to turn one incel into ten—and ten into a generation.

Men Are Good.

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