MenAreGood
MenAreGood is a channel for men, boys, fathers, new fathers, grandfathers and women who want to learn about men and masculinity.  Are you tired of the false narrative of toxic masculinity?  Did you know there is a huge amount of research that shows the positive aspects of men, boys and fathers?  That is what we focus on here, being a source of good information and also a place to connect.   Join us!
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March 29, 2025
Regarding Men 24 - Sicko-Therapy

Recorded 2020

Janice Fiamengo, Paul Elam, and Tom discuss the twisted ideas of feminist therapy. If feminists are not admitting that they hate men, what does that do to any form of therapy based on feminist ideas?

Laura Brown http://www.drlaurabrown.com/feminist-therapy/
Psychology Today on Feminist Therapy https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/feminist-therapy

00:37:00
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April 23, 2025
The Anti-Male Propaganda in Netflix's Adolescence

In this discussion, Hannah Spier, Janice Fiamengo, and Tom Golden take a critical look at the anti-male messaging embedded in the Netflix series Adolescence. Together, they unpack the show’s characters, storylines, and the implausibility of the events depicted, highlighting how such narratives reinforce harmful cultural stereotypes about boys and men. The conversation shines a light on how entertainment media can quietly shape public perceptions, often portraying male characters as either predatory, weak, or disposable, while sidelining the real experiences and complexities of young men.

00:59:27
April 07, 2025
Federal "Family Policy": A Story of Mischief

Join Tom Golden, Stephen Baskerville, Shah, and Don Bieniewicz for an eye-opening discussion on U.S. family policy—exploring the many ways it harms men, undermines families, and violates constitutional principles.

With firsthand experience inside the system, Shah and Don offer powerful insights, while Stephen brings over 20 years of research and writing on the subject. The video concludes with a call to action: contact the White House and recommend Stephen Baskerville as the director of ACF and Shah for consideration as the head of OCSS.

Stephen’s Books
Taken Into Custody https://amzn.to/3nGaMh6
The New Politics of Sex https://amzn.to/3DIYjif
Who Lost America: Why the United States Went “Communist“ and what to Do about it https://www.amazon.com/Who-Lost-America-United-Communist/dp/1915755662

Don’s papers:

(1) The model child support guideline that I drafted for the Children's Rights Council is here:

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Donald-Bieniewicz?ev=hdr_xprf

(2) And the ...

00:56:26
March 24, 2025
Some Women Use Abuse Claims to Destroy Men

Join Tom and Ulysses Slaughter for a powerful discussion on false allegations. Ulysses shares his remarkable experience with lies, deception, and the devastating consequences of a false a​llegation. Watch a clip of his initial encounter with police.

https://www.ulyssesbutchslaughter.com

https://youtube.com/@ulyssesslaughterbutch

https://www.tiktok.com/@ubslaughter

00:56:03
February 07, 2023
The Way Boys Play and the Biological Underpinnings

My apologies for the last empty post. My mistake. Let's hope this one works.

Tom takes a stab at using the podcast function. Let's see how it goes.

The Way Boys Play and the Biological Underpinnings
May 13, 2022
Boys and Rough Play

This is a short excerpt from Helping Mothers be Closer to their Sons. The book was meant for single mothers who really don't know much about boy's nature. They also don't have a man in the house who can stand up for the boy and his unique nature. It tries to give them some ideas about how boys and girls are different. This excerpt is about play behaviors.

Boys and Rough Play
45 minutes ago
MHD - The Princess Treatment Exposed

I follow MHD on Patreon and enjoy many of his vids. Here’s one of his videos that was also on youtube. See what you think.

Sargon, dancing around the red pill.

A great video on the help for men channel interviewing Michelle Langley. This is the kind of stuff all men need to learn and share great points and great lessons and advice for men and women. Definitely not Gynocyntric or anti man at all!!

April 20, 2025
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Is Feminism a Healthy Movement for Social Change?

Is Feminism a Healthy Movement for Social Change?

This post was written by David Shackleton in response to a woman’s question about the nature of feminism. I felt his reply captured its essence with clarity and thoughtfulness. See what you think.
 
 
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Thank you for asking this question about the nature of feminism. Confusion about this is universal and embedded in our culture. Even your short paragraph below reveals some of this confusion, when you write, "I would like to hear how you all would define feminism vs working for women's rights back in the 60s and 70s. Even back then there was debate about who was a feminist and who was not...but still working for equal rights." You use the phrases "working for women's rights" and "working for equal rights" interchangeably, as if they are and were the same thing. But they are not, and were not. I will explain.

In this explanation, I will use "feminism" as synonymous with "the women's movement," because at the level of analysis that I am proposing here, there is no difference.

First we will consider the difference between positive and healthy movements for social change and those that have pathology built into them. And then we will consider an error of judgment that is built into feminism specifically, at the level of its founding analysis.

For an example of a healthy movement for social change, consider the movement for racial equality led by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in the 1960s. It was founded on a vision of racial equality (see his "I Have a Dream" speech for a clear exposition of this vision), and it was collaborative, meaning that he welcomed whites and blacks as equal participants in the movement (see his "Letter from a Birmingham Jail" for evidence of this). No one was stigmatized for past wrongs; all were invited to share the vision and to collaborate in working towards it. This is the essence of a healthy movement - it focuses on a positive vision of a desired future rather than a moral judgment of a dysfunctional past and present, and it invites collaboration from all as equals rather than dividing the world up into guilty oppressors and innocent victims.

There is no doubt that blacks WERE oppressed historically by whites - slavery and, more recently, legal segregation were evidence of that, and the hundred years or more of public lynchings are irrefutable evidence. Yet, King saw no need for moral judgment and stigmatization of whites for this history. For him, all who shared the vision of equality were equal and were welcomed into the movement. What mattered was what people wanted, not their past, their ancestors or their skin.

And then he was assassinated.

We have not had a single healthy mainstream identity movement since that time. All, including feminism/the women's movement and all of the movements for racial equality, culminating in the Woke movements of today, have been founded on a moral dichotomy, a dividing of the world into guilty oppressors/perpetrators and innocent victims, a division built not on behavior but on identity. This founding analysis builds moral inequality in at the movement foundations; since victims are morally innocent and oppressors are guilty, the purported vision of equality is rendered unobtainable, forever out of reach. What equality can exist between oppressors and victims? Such movements are pathological and that is why, despite all of the equality legislation and the trillions of dollars spent on amelioration programs, we still hear constantly that equality remains far away.

I want to be clear about something. My purpose here is not moral judgment, but clear description. I use the term "pathological" as a term of ill health rather than moral judgment. Such movements cannot work, where "work" means actually achieve their claimed objectives. They are literally dysfunctional, they do not function to seek equality, and they never did. The founding analysis of moral division by identity defeated them from the start. Such movements are populated by many who sincerely seek positive change, but until the seductive story of moral superiority (for designated victims) is repudiated, they will continue to fail and leave various kinds of devastation in their wake.

Feminism/the women's movement has always embraced this destructive story of victimhood for women, but this movement suffers from an additional error - in their case, it isn't actually true. It isn't true that men as a group have oppressed women as a group - ever. What men and women have suffered historically is the effects of gender roles, roles that were enforced not by men but by biology. Biological differences, principally reproductive differences, between men and women resulted naturally and inevitably in women being ascribed the role of child-raiser and homemaker, and men the role of provider and protector. Nothing else would work when women were obliged to have multiple children (since many of them died). Life was tough, and evolution selected for what worked, as it always does.

For proof that the relationship of women and men isn't one of oppression, consider the survival numbers from the Titanic. First and second class, who had access to the lifeboats (unlike the "steerage" third class passengers who were locked below decks) numbers are as follows: Children, 100%. Women, 93%. Men, 22%. The richest man in the world was on that ship, and he went down with it. His wife and his wife's maid were saved. Now, what do we have here? When the stakes are the very highest, when only some can be saved and some must die, who gets prioritized? Not men. This, if one is honest, is proof absolute that men do not oppress women. Oppressors do not give their lives to save the oppressed. Never in history has this occurred. The notion is ridiculous. Consider the slave ships with blacks chained in their holds - that was real oppression. If one of those ships foundered, do you think the crew would give their lives to save the slaves? Of course not.

It only takes a single counterexample to disprove a general rule. If I say, "All swans are white," you have only to point out a single black swan to prove me wrong. The Titanic is just one example (there are many) that disproves the general statement that men oppress women. That is not the relationship that pertained in 1912 when the Titanic sank, long before feminism went mainstream in the 1960s, and it is not the relationship that pertained throughout history. And so feminism is not only an unhealthy movement founded on a story of moral superiority/inferiority. In its case, that very analysis is a lie.

I do not claim that it is an intentional lie. For most, I believe that it is sincerely believed. Nevertheless, it is mistaken and should be corrected, because it is doing great harm, both to women and to men.

To return, at last, to the question that started this all, which is whether feminism is responsible for boy's and men's problems, the answer is yes, in part. The moral stigmatization of men and boys that is the result of the founding analysis that men oppressed women is indeed the responsibility of feminism, which is revealed as a movement of female moral chauvinism. But a part of men's and boys' problems is the persisting gender roles (e.g., the male draft) and not the responsibility of feminism/the women's movement.

David Shackleton

____________________________

David Shackleton is a thinker and writer about culture with a focus on identity politics and gender. His books "The Hand That Rocks the World: An Inquiry Into Truth, Power and Gender" and "Daughters of Feminism: Women Supporting Men's Equality" are available on Amazon. His website is genderhealing.com.

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April 16, 2025
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A Survival Guide for Men in Couples Therapy
Part One


A Survival Guide for Men in Couples Therapy - part one

 

When men enter couples therapy with their wives or significant female partners, it often feels like stepping into foreign territory. The dynamics can be confusing, the language unfamiliar, and it can seem like their needs are far less addressed than those of their partners. Many men feel "out of place."

The first section of this article serves as a primer for men, helping explain why they might feel this way. The second half offers practical ideas and tips for getting the most out of the experience. It’s worth noting that about 1 in 5 men are likely to feel more at home in the typical couples therapy environment due to biological and temperamental factors—and about 1 in 5 women might more closely resemble the typical male experience. When this article refers to “men,” it’s addressing that 80% majority of men (and that 20% of women who are similar).

Bottom line? We’re all different, but if you’re a man—or a woman trying to understand one—this article might be useful. (For more on these differences, see my book The Way Men Heal on Amazon.)


1. Why Is Couples Therapy Hard for Men?

A Different Style of Processing

The idea of sitting face-to-face and talking about emotions and hurt is foreign to many men. They might be more comfortable addressing difficult topics while doing something side-by-side—like playing a game of basketball or golfing—rather than sitting across from someone in a therapist’s office. But that’s not how couples therapy is set up, and this mismatch is just one of many reasons men may find the experience challenging.


Language Barriers

Couples therapy has its own language—a language most women speak fluently, but most men do not. This imbalance can deeply affect the process.

Imagine visiting France: your wife speaks fluent French, and you only know a little. A local invites you to his table for conversation. Who’s he going to talk to? Naturally, your wife. You’re left relying on translations and educated guesses. You probably won’t be judged harshly for your lack of fluency, but you’ll still feel like an outsider.

Now picture couples therapy. Your wife and the therapist are fluent in the language of feelings—you’re not. But in therapy, unlike France, you are likely to be judged. Not knowing this language can lead to assumptions: that you’re emotionally immature, cold, uncaring, or resistant. Many therapists believe men should be fluent in emotional expression and that it’s just a matter of effort.

“Just try a little harder, honey. It’s not that hard.”

What these therapists often don’t realize is that male biology plays a role. Men’s brains are more geared toward systems and action than emotional articulation. There’s even evidence that testosterone can impair verbal emotional expression, even when the feelings are present. Men often process emotions differently—but those differences are rarely acknowledged or respected in therapy. Instead, men’s unique approaches are often misinterpreted as deficiencies.


The Fluency Bond

This fluency gap also affects how alliances form in therapy. Just like at that French dinner, you rely on your wife to "translate" or mediate, but in therapy, your interests may be in conflict with hers. She may not be motivated to give you a fair translation. In fact, she might use her emotional fluency to bolster her position and cast you as the problem.


 


Details, Memory, and the Scorecard

Another challenge for men is how women tend to remember relationship details with far greater precision. Your wife may recall the time in 2007 when you called her fat—but you don’t. In therapy, she can quickly list a long series of your alleged missteps, while you’re still trying to figure out if what she said even happened.

Why is this? Maybe men treat relational upsets like fishing—if the fish is too small, you throw it back and move on. Men don’t tend to keep score. Women often do. So when therapy starts, she brings a bucket of old hurts. You bring nothing. It can feel like you have no case.

Could it be that men let go of the small stuff out of forgiveness or practicality, while women store it up to make a case? Maybe. You be the judge. (Your mileage may vary.)


Avoiding Men’s Emotional Pain

Another critical factor is the cultural discomfort with male emotional pain. In our society, a man’s tears often evoke suspicion—while a woman’s tears inspire compassion and action. Men know this. That’s why most avoid public vulnerability. They’re not dumb.

This bias shows up in therapy too. I’ve seen cases where a man had just experienced major surgery, the death of a parent, and job loss—all in one month—and yet the session focused on why he hadn’t been more attentive to his wife’s emotional needs.

Therapists—especially female ones—may simply relate more naturally to the woman’s experience and overlook the man’s pain. If that happens, the man walks away feeling invisible, bewildered, and alone.


2. The Role of Traditional Sex Roles

Traditional male roles emphasize providing and protecting—especially for a spouse. Women’s traditional roles focus on nurturing children and maintaining the home. In this model, her happiness depends on his performance, but not the other way around. He’s judged on how well he provides and protects. She’s rarely judged on how she treats him. His needs? No one’s responsibility but his own.

This dynamic plays out in therapy. Her needs become the agenda. His needs are secondary—if addressed at all. It’s not just the therapist; many men don’t even think to bring up their own needs. They’re conditioned to care for others, not themselves.


Independence vs. Vulnerability

The male role of provider and protector requires independence. Dependency and neediness are seen as weaknesses. Yet in therapy, men are asked to reveal vulnerabilities, admit struggles, and show emotional need. That’s a 180-degree turn from how they’re wired and socialized.

Imagine asking a woman to speak in a way that shows she’s not nurturing and caring. Would that be easy for her? Probably not. And yet we expect men to do the emotional equivalent without blinking. It’s time we showed more compassion for the bind men are placed in.


 

Therapy Is a Feminine Space

Therapy has evolved to be female-friendly—for the simple reason that women are the ones who tend to show up. The currency of therapy is emotional care and connection—more aligned with feminine norms than masculine ones, which emphasize respect, autonomy, and honor.

In therapy, the woman often claims, “He doesn’t care about me,” then lists examples of his supposed indifference. The therapist helps her unpack her pain. The man, meanwhile, scrambles to defend himself against the accusations and rarely gets to voice his own needs or perspective. He’s too busy putting out fires.

This dynamic reinforces a centuries-old pattern: women voice needs and complaints, men respond. He’s expected to improve. She’s expected to be heard.


The "Yelling" Trap

Another common issue is volume. Men and women often have very different thresholds for what counts as yelling. Two men might have an energetic, respectful argument—but if that same tone is used with a wife, she may accuse him of yelling.

He says, “I’m not yelling.” And objectively, he might be right. But remember—therapy operates by different rules. Feminine rules.

This accusation of yelling can be weaponized. When a man is making a valid point that’s hard to refute, shifting the focus to his "tone" or "volume" derails the discussion. Suddenly, the conversation is about her pain and his supposed insensitivity—not the issue he raised. This leaves him feeling ambushed, powerless, and unheard. And conveniently, it lets her off the hook.


If you’ve read this far, you already know: men face an uphill climb in couples therapy. The structure, language, and expectations often don't align with male psychology or experience. But understanding these dynamics is the first step toward navigating them—and maybe even shifting the conversation.

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April 14, 2025
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Where Have They Gone?
a guest post by The Red Pill Philosopher

Where Have They Gone?


I Think I might have found the Holy Grail: The way out for men in the short term. I keep being asked “Where are the good women?”, “I can’t find a woman like my mother”,” Women nowadays are picky and difficult”, and many other questions and comments that reflect the very negative experience for men today. Especially when it comes to women and relationships. There is no doubt that for most men in our current times, pursuing modern women is an absolute waste of time. Here are some of the reasons why men are better off without a woman in this age:

Women are encouraged to make emotional decisions that only serve their feelings without any logical reasoning. One man told me, “She woke up one day and decided to break up with me after ten years because she wasn’t getting that “Feeling" anymore. Another guy said, “She decided to take the kids and leave, and live her life which means sleep around and break her family apart in the process, because she will be happier this way”. I can provide thousands of examples as to how modern women are given a green light to act upon their feelings with no regards to anything else. Your whole life investment in her, no matter how many years, can disappear in one minute. Why would any man invest in a risky project like this?

Telling women to go do whatever you want is pretty much telling them to: “go practice your hypergamous nature without remorse or consequence.” They call it “Equality for women”. Almost every modern woman who is average in everything (looks and personality) thinks she is god’s gift to humanity, Watching them talk about their demands and expectations is like watching a science fiction show with elements of comedy, until you realize that they think their delusion is very real. “I deserve a man who is tall, good looking, kind, has a great job, social status etc”. 95 precent of modern women are lining up in front of the same doors for just those guys.

 

The men they line up for—the top dogs—are taking turns with those women, and the women are completely okay with it. That’s just their nature. Their freedom from the male’s authority (The strong father and then the strong husband) exposed their nature. Women’s greatest enemies are their own free selves and the advice of other miserable women. They spend years getting pumped and dumped by the same men. Until they realize that they are getting older, and those top men do not want them for anything other than some fun. They realize that they want kids. So, they settle with the guy they never liked. And when you settle with someone you don’t like, it is easy to use them, disrespect them, and walk away.

That’s why women initiate over 70% of divorces—and an estimated 90% among college-educated women. In many cases, they simply never truly liked their husbands to begin with. The feminist society will tell her “You go girl, do whatever makes you happy”. The man ends up paying alimony and child support while she’s out looking for a stepdad—another simp willing to settle for her and play daddy to her kids. There are many of those simps, they are the reason why women are free to practice their manipulation and hypergamy openly in the first place.

And not only that, the so-called modern progressive feminist society wants you to be thankful that a 40-year-old woman who is overweight, comes with kids, attitude, masculine energy, and delusion aplenty, is giving you a slot in her planned ten simp dates for the coming week. Yup, you should be happy that your car will be the 201st one going in that tunnel which is wider than a highway. What can you do? You are an ok looking guy with an ok job. That is not good enough for any woman except the lazy obese ones or the older ones who carry all kinds of baggage and mental issues. All the other ones are standing in line, remember?

 

But this is all your fault, because you are the man. You need to step-up, grow taller and make a million bucks. We, the modern progressive society, will keep encouraging women and give them all the scholarships and jobs instead of men, but somehow you still need to make more money and pay for the date. So, what are we going to do? Get the good ones!

Yes, find a woman untouched by all that. Feminine, supportive, emotionally stable, average size, nurturing—a team player. A keeper. One who won’t just wake up one day and act on a fleeting feeling. You can find her—but odds are, she’s a few plane rides away from the Western world.

And even then, you’ll need to protect her—from the influence of modern women around her, at work, in the neighborhood. If you don’t, it’s only a matter of time before she’s handing you divorce papers, just like her new “brave,” “strong,” “successful” female friends.

But let’s talk short term. How are you supposed to be happy without the drama, the manipulation, the zero-return investment? That woman who brings none of that baggage—she’ll give you exactly what you want. And you’ll know exactly what she wants.

No drama. No games. No manipulation.

Sadly, in a society as degraded and hopeless as ours, the best woman you can meet—if you haven’t guessed already—is a prostitute.

 

______________________________________

The Red Pill Philosopher is a passionate advocate for men's rights. He is committed to raising awareness about issues such as father's rights, radical feminism, female nature, the challenges men face in family courts, and the growing gender inequality in almost all aspects of society. He seeks to empower men to reclaim their voice, their God given role in society, and stand up for their rights.

[email protected]

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